Bye 2014 - Hellooooo 2015

(Photo from my wild looking veggie plot this July)

Whoah, that went fast!
I feel like the year went by particularly speedy this time (of course having that ridiculous flu/bronchial infection for over a month of it didn't help).

Time to recap the year with a 2014 Resolutions Report Card:

MORE: 
B+  time outside, walks and gardening and painting trim gave me lots of time outside this year.
A+  wholesome food, nothing but good stuff for my body by the end of this last year
A    gardening, lots of amazing foods came out of our plot this year!
B    billable hours, I changed gears and it paid off
B    kindness, I took the time to reach out to good people and now we are friends
C+  learning, I have read some great ideas, in all sorts of areas, but not implemented it as much as I could
C    housecleaning, Same as ever. A struggle with dirt and grime.
C    patience, Next!
A    quiet time, Honoured my needs by enjoying time by myself gardening or reading more
B+   time for loved ones, every dinner together as a family and walks as a family helped create an excellent forum for contact
C+   creating art, I bought supplies and clipped ideas, but not much happened yet
A++ respecting my health, marvellous results! Paleo has worked miracles for my family

LESS: 
B chaos, schedules, decluttering, better health all help have less chaos
A++ processed foods, that crap isn't allowed in my body any more!
C+   useless stuff, I bought an ornate chinese noise maker because it was so beautiful, and a stuffy because it made me laugh, and more clothes than I need... but I'm getting better!
C     procrastinating, room for improvement. minimally meeting expectations
C     pushing my opinion, lifelong challenge for my obstinate nature. no worse than usual.
B     TV definitely watching less. we only have basic TV and no desire for any more.

Continuing on this path, I want to accomplish more of the same for this year: 
A comfortable, safe environment to live and work for myself and my dear family through good nutrition, growth through learning, clean home, loving attitude, calm listening and healthy habits.

So far so good. No grains, processed, dairy, sugar, nor legumes is leaving us with an amazing, colourful, delicious menu and we feel great! Not sure one ingredient is the magic bullet here, probably a combo of some causing enough inflammation to make the others harmful. I don't even care, this is sustainable.

I feel especially blessed that  live in a time and place where food choices can be for optimum health, not just survival. I can be a food snob only because I live here and now. And trust me, I am thankful to my very core for that fact.

I am optimistic about this year, my oldest is graduating high school (if the stars align), and moving into manhood. He will either move north or continue with school (or both). One thing  I am sticking by my guns with.... if he's not in school he will be paying full market price for room and board. 18 is adult, no matter what generation he's from! This year, I am getting serious about teaching him to bachelor cook and keep house (he knows how to cook an assortment of breakfasts, does laundry and vacuuming already). He's got a good sense of money handling, but his follow through is terrible, so he will have to be taught how to internet bank and pay bills too. 

The odd part is I don't remember my parents teaching me a damn thing about money except that it was hard to come by. Ample chores taught me how to keep house and prep-cook, but the bills were "none of my business". It was a rude awakening when I moved out. Rent contracts, tuition, supplies, phone, hydro, keeping clothed and getting the house outfitted from scratch (I had only one cooking pot for a few months), all of the car expenses, FOOD.

But that was the past.... THIS year I will work towards preparing my boy for independence along with the regular goals for health and prosperity.

We went camping!

For a change of pace, we went to an ocean site. You would be surprised how few and far between the undeveloped ocean recreation sites are! But we did our research and found a site a couple hours (plus) North of our town on the Discovery Passage. Instead of posting tonnes of pictures (it was a beautiful place) I will post the permalink to my new shutter fly book that I just made up for it!

Here it is!

The days were lovely and warm enough in the sun, the evenings were breezy and cool (keeping the trailer fresh even with 4 unwashed bodies in there). We enjoyed a waterfront spot all private and clean. The water was sparkling (though much too cold for me) and the sea life was really active with sockeye jumping right out in front of us (no fishing gear though!) and even a pod of orcas within sight.

We were way out there. Long, treacherous road up and down to get to the site. The bush was closed to logging because of the dryness, so there was NO traffic with the logging trucks not running, that made it very quiet on land. On the water, it's a busy shipping lane with boats of every shape and size going by all day and night. Tugs, log booms, cargo ships, cruise ships (HUGE), pleasure craft, many kinds of fish boats, sailing, military, and wickedly fast whale watchers.

The water was silky smooth so kayaking was marvellous. Even more interesting sights to see out on the water than on shore. And there was no shortage of interesting beach combing!

The only downside was there was so much interesting stuff that I got barely any reading done LOL.

Have a look at the link, the photos say so much.

bye bye 2013

I shocked that 2013 is over, it flew by so fast that I wonder what it all meant.

Time to re-visit my resolutions from last year, time to do the last invoices for my business and see how our household finances compare to year's past…. I feel good about it actually.

2013 Resolutions Report Card: 

MORE; 
reading, C- (not as much as I was hoping)
writing, C+ (definitely MORE but not lots)
billable hours, B+ (very good effort!)
time teaching my kids, D (I didn't apply my energy!)
learning, C (learning software upgrades)
vegetables, B+ (yay!)
whole foods, B+ (good improvement)
housecleaning, C+ (some improvement, a ways to go)
walks, A (rain or shine and dragging anyone that will go)
yoga, F (I think I went once all year)
time for friends, B- (more phone calls, more lunches)
kindness, B (the kids are seeing a less judgmental me)
time outside, A (gardening, walking, chickens, dog!)
patience, B (it seems to go with the kinder me)

LESS; 
dairy, A+ (almost done with it except aged cheeses)
fructose, B+ (it sneaks in rarely)
excuses, B+ (good improvement!)
processed foods, A- (I read ingredients)
shopping, C+ (slightly better than last year)
criticism, B (more kindness)
procrastination, D (still prone to leaving unpleasant things to the last second)
TV, F (time-sucking box of doom)
food hoarding, C+ (good effort up to about a month ago)
chaos C+ (there is less, but still room to improve)

As far as resolutions go I think I made progress in a decent amount of areas! I'm so glad to have done this and I will certainly continue.

2014 Resolutions:

MORE: time outside, wholesome food, gardening, billable hours, kindness, learning, housecleaning, patience, quiet time, time for loved ones, creating art, respecting my health

LESS: chaos, processed foods, useless stuff, procrastinating, consumption, pushing my opinion, TV

What I want to accomplish for the year: A comfortable, safe environment to live and work for myself and my dear family through good nutrition, clean home, loving attitude, calm listening and healthy habits.

Rendering myself Obsolete

My goal as a parent is to put myself pretty much out of a job within the next 10 years.

That's right. They can continue to love me (and I sure hope they do!) but I am counting on them not needing me to cook, clean, schedule or buy things for them in the next decade.

My 16 year old can now do his own laundry

My 11 year old can fry his own eggs (even crack them into the pan - I'm so proud)

Both of them are slowly acquiring the skills for proper nutrition and home care - It's part of the big picture as a parent.

For the first 12 months the primary task is to keep them alive and hopefully thriving.
The next couple years are all about socializing and communication skills (and hygiene!)
School years are about refining skills with other people, education, safety, health, emotional growth, building character, humour, love and play... big stuff!
Teens are back to the basics of respect, survival, safety, money - with the added edge of sexual stuff
And HOPEFULLY by the time they are age of majority we hope they are able and willing to leave the nest to begin productive, happy, law abiding lives of their own.

My boys may not be excelling in academics, but they will have been taught skills to shop properly, feed themselves and keep their living space clean enough.... (oh ya and be able to forrage edible wilds, mow and weedwhack the lawn, drive stick, ride motorcycles and know proper firearm handling as a bonus).

Look out!

Look ma, I can drive now!

 

 

(and here it is upside down too....)

Give me strength.

Chores build character

My parents instilled a strong work ethic into me through CHORES - whether I liked it or not. There were daily chores (make bed, lunch and breakfast cooking, dishes, garbage, care for pets, etc.), weekly chores (laundry, ironing, change and wash bedding, scrub bathrooms, clean room, vacuum, etc.) and seasonal chores (weeding, harvesting, food prep, mow lawn, etc.) These were not for allowance, they were simply because we lived there and it needed to be done. Oh how I hated it all, I felt my parents were taking advantage of child labour.

As a grown up I have other chores: Grocery shopping, meal planning, budgeting and bill paying, and all the other money and food related stuff that I had no part in as a kid.

(Last week I tackled a chore I fear... organizing the paperwork needed to do my year-end and income tax. There are a few items yet to come in, but the bulk is now organized by category in chronological order. I also reviewed what we spent last year on food to figure out a budget for the coming year. Utilities I can't really budget for so easily thanks to this new house, but I can estimate it. No matter how careful I am there are always things missing when I do this, like odd socks coming out of the dryer, some month's bills just seem to "disappear"!)

Looking to the next generation, I feel my job as a parent isn't just to keep my children safe, but to get them grown up into responsible, moral, kind contributors to the society and the planet. It's not easy! My instinct is to make them happy and shelter them from discomfort or pain.... but I need to remind myself of the ultimate goal, and while they are young it's T and my responsibility to show them what's what and how to be responsible themselves. So the kids sometimes have to face disappointment, they have to experience things that are real.

Physically my daredevil boys have experienced lots of physical consequences on their own. Broken bones, scrapes and bruises. Sure we could have kept them safe indoors playing video games, but how would they learn about inertia, force and traction? Would they need to wait until they had a real car in their control?! Yikes!

Financially, I think their personalities are very strong. Steve is an excellent "saver", for some reason it clicked early with him about what money is worth and how hard it can be to get it. Cam, on the other hand, is very happy to part with every penny at his earliest convenience and seems to have no problems borrowing against future allowances too. Oh man, that's going to cause him pain in the future! We are trying very hard to teach him the reality of interest as a powerful friend and an even more powerful enemy, but he's not grasping it. (Maybe he is taking after some of me consumerista family members).

We have been giving them more freedom as they get older, visiting friends without us tagging along, letting them ride around the neighbourhood unsupervised, leaving them at home alone when T and I go out, walking home from school, etc... it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be to know WHEN they are ready for these responsibilities, and (so far) we haven't regretted the trust.

Running a household takes work too. I should be preparing them for that as well.

Unfortunately I haven't done a good job of forcing chores on my boys. T and I have taken it all on ourselves, probably because it's just easier and we know it will be done to our satisfaction if we do it. And partially because I am home all day anyways. Not that the kids are completely off the hook. They have to help out when we ask, put away their own laundry and they clean their own rooms (most of the time). Dog maintenance is mostly their job. And taking care of the chickens is a family chore.

I think I will start enforcing a cooking night. Easy recipes that they can take with them when they move out. Something beyond toast and eggs. Saturdays sound good. And there is no reason why thay can't handle cleaning the main bathroom, right?

Maybe if I Cared Less....

I remember one day when my 1st born was still fairly little, I had my mother in law over for coffee and I was sobbing in frustration "Why is this so HARD?" I was talking about parenting. She said something that really stuck with me, she said that it's only this hard because I care so much about doing it RIGHT. And of course she was right.

There are lots of really neglected children that actually grow up to be adults! Their parents carrying on as if they didn't even have kids, as if the raising of a human being is no responsibility of theirs and not accepting one bit of guilt or fault for how their offspring turn out. There are dad's that walk out (and mom's too) and, more socially acceptably, there are parents that dump their kids on nannies or grandparents to do the heavy lifting. (I have to admit, this last option as a part-time one would be AWESOME).

This job is only this hard because I've taken it on as my responsibility for these boys to become decent men... and by "decent" I mean: Kind, Responsible, Productive, Smart, Hard Working, Law Abiding, Financially Sound, Healthy, Skilled Men.

And also I want them to be confident, independent, with good self-image and a comfortable sense of humour and easy interactions with others.

At the moment I am struggling with fostering many of these attributes from my boys. Mostly because I don't want to FORCE it. I WANT them to develop these things easily and naturally ---- LOL!

I am confident they will turn out fine. I just can't help but wishing them to have the very best chances to meet their full potential. Learning disabilities, stubborn personality traits (from the boys AND me) and tight financial limitations are always hindering that dream.

Priorities are set, tried and often abandoned because life changes or the reality doesn't fit with the dream.

I think (maybe) I have found a balance with the older boy at last... I trust his judgement as good and his intentions as honest. His follow-through isn't always great, and he has NO work ethic built up yet (oh man, I hope that comes soon!) but his heart and sense of humour is something I am very proud of.  The younger is a tougher nut to crack. He has such a gentle heart, he is easily swayed by his peers and his sweet, quiet disposition gets him conveniently overlooked when he SHOULD be paying attention or staying on task. By the time anyone notices that he HASN'T heard the lesson, or done the work, it's time to move onto something else. It happens at home as often as at school. He just looks so content that you have to assume he's got it all together!

My goals for their educations have been downgraded over and over - and over. The only thing I am praying for now is that they get their Highschool Diplomas. I guess I care "less" about them making lots of money at careers they find rewarding... now I just want them to be employable and maybe be able to afford a hobby they find rewarding instead (ugh. That's not all I want for them, but I will have to be content with the idea for their sake).

Parenting is a strange task.... my ego is permanently intertwined with their performance/behaviour. And my heart is completely dependant on their very existence.

Something is amiss

I'm not sure what's going on, but I am experiencing a phase of acute distress.

I don't trust my body, I don't trust my income, I worry about my children's future and am sure my pretty little car is going to die any minute...

Is it because Steve is needing almost $7G of braces (we have to get started before the summer or we will miss a growth window)? Or maybe because I have NO work lined up right now?

Or maybe because yesterday during my easy yoga class, my stupid body wouldn't go into plank or downward dog.... my thigh muscles just wouldn't do it (so I dropped into child's and had a quiet cry while the class that had seniors and overweight mid-lifers happily posed without me).  And my Achilles tendon screams at me even just walking up to the school (I went to see the doctor and should have the ultrasound results this week)

I have to be proactive and slap myself out of this funk.

First of all...I MUST BUDGET. Math always has a way of cheering me up with it's concrete reality.
What are my fixed expenses?
What are my necessary variable expenses?
What are my variable luxuries?
What is our reliable income?
What do I NEED to make to fill in the gap (if there is one)?
Where can I trim expenses?
What can I liquidate (if I must)?

Next.... I must campaign for work more aggressively. This is tricky because when I am feeling this down, I don't have the confidence to come across professionally nor do I feel like competing for contracts.... vicious circle.

And I must continue decluttering, continuing going to yoga, continuing campaigning for my children's education and most importantly be thankful for the things that I DO HAVE (love, home, family, friends, freedom.... etc etc)

Boys Will be Boys

Bad news.

My oldest boy has been at it again.

He hurt himself doing fun boy things --- again.

This time he used his hatchet. Theoretically he was cutting trails in the woods, and he was holding something he was chopping. His left hand got in the way, and now he has stitches (again).

Why do they have to learn the hard way? Telling them a million times doesn't make them careful enough.

School's Out!

This picture was taken last Friday at a field trip I volunteered to drive for and chaperon. It was to the Forestry Museum, one of my favourite places on Earth. The blacksmith shop and re-created forestry camp (that's the mess hall in the picture) are so cool! There is a train that loops around the museum, and stops at either end to get out and wander the exhibits and trails. There is also a wetland preserve on the site and they do educational tours that are chock-full of interesting wetland facts... ah yes, that my idea of a good day, even with a bunch of munchkins under my care.

That was last week.

And this week it's done.

Summer holidays have officially started.

I'd like to say my kids did wonderfully, but it seems to be a struggle for survival every single year.

No excuses, I MUST get Cameron up to grade level for math and reading.
I MUST! Grade 5 will be so very, very difficult if he doesn't have those basic of basics.
(Did you know they don't fail elementary kids in my district? So there is no threat for the kids to even try to put forth the effort, and no repercussions for lazy teaching. High school is a major shock! There are expectations and there is failure there too.)

So I will be the bad guy this summer and force my boys to work. Bad bad bad. I loathe that.

I am still trying to look forward to summer. I usual enjoy the easy rhythm. After all my sister lives close by, my boys are old enough to self-entertain and I wanna go camping!

My baby is 10...

... So we took him and some friends to climb some trees.

The weather was great and everybody had a blast...

Especially the Birthday Boy!

Things are Moving Alright

My sister has now moved back to the valley and is very close geographically now. But what should have been a joyous occasion was marred by a cruel and senseless crime.

Just last night between 7:30 and 8:30 pm my son's bike (pictured above) was stolen right off my sister's new front porch, with a house full of people and 5 houses facing hers on the cul-de-sac. Steve saw a couple of people ride by and look intently at the bike. He could easily identify them. Then when we noticed the bike was gone we found one of the gawker's bikes on the trail close to my sister's house! So it was most certainly them that took it. We rallied in the house and took off in 3 different cars to scour the roads (and as far into the trails as we could see) to try and find them... we searched until past 9:30 at night. Too dark to really look much more.... Steve was almost throwing up from stress and crying with every emotion from anger, disappointment, loss, and plain old self-pity.

Steve bought this fancy bike with his own money. He worked odd jobs, mowed lawns and even had a paper route to save up for it. He hoarded his birthday and Christmas money to buy (and maintain) it. Needless to say he is really broken up about it and sick with grief. This is the bike her rides every day, the bike he goes to his mountain bike club meetings with, the bike that he flew down the stairs (and knocked his tooth out) with!! He has pride of ownership with it and sense of accomplishment too. If you know anyone in Nanaimo that can keep their eyes peeled for it, I would appreciate it.

We do have a police file opened, but even though we called within an hour of the theft, they said the chances are slim that it will be found. Poor guy. He's a mess.


All I can do is make posters, and tell EVERYONE to improve the chances.

Hot and Cold

Well... hello?!

I didn't expect to see this yesterday morning!

The teen in our house was enlisted to scrape the driveway (and I cleared my own car)....

And later in the day we went for a good long hike in the woods... the views were spectacular with the sun sparkling off the fresh snow. It was lovely. Sunny. Calm. Clean and crisp!

I wish I could say we all matched the weather though.... Steve the teen has a nasty intolerance for our neighbour's boy. He is 2 years younger exactly (since they share a birthday) and only a tiny bit taller than my 9 year old -- yeas he is very small for his age. For some reason, this little boy gets Steve RAGING like nobody else. AND when we he was coming on the walk he shook and fumed and even cried. Not a pretty thing to see. The walk it self went very very well. They didn't clash at all, and the boy kept to entertaining Cami, and didn't bug Steve at all (of course I warned him ahead of time I didn't want any fights today). I honestly think he likes getting a rise out of Steve. It's easy. And probably feels powerful to get someone older and much bigger to lose control (and get in trouble for it).

And I wish I could say waking up to a new morning this morning fixed the negative tension in the house, but it didn't. Both the boys were grouchy and weepy and tense. They whined about EVERY LITTLE THING that was their normal routine.

And I'm sad to say, I snapped.

Sometimes I feel taken advantage of. They don't seem to think they have to contribute to the running of the house or even their own lives. They want us parents to do everything for them. I guess I'm lucky I don't have to wipe their butts anymore!

After getting them out of bed, making their breakfast (no "thank you'"s to be heard) and packing their lunches and asking them to get dressed and cleaned up... downstairs (already too far behind in the schedule) they start mentioning the stuff they were supposed to bring to school..... THEY HAD A WHOLE WEEKEND TO GET THIS ORGANIZED! Then Steve crossed the line... I'd been getting more and more stressed as the morning wore on... while I was running around looking for Cami's planner upstairs, Steve TOLD me to get him a pack of gum from the cupboard.... arr! I didn't find the planner and I threw the gum downstairs at the boy and  I stormed downstairs ranting about how I'M NOBODY'S SLAVE.... etc, etc.

Everyone left in a bad mood. But Cami and I ironed it out on the way up to the school (we walked because the roads are frozen).

I hate feeling taken advantage of. I hate losing my temper, I hate not knowing if I'm doing the right thing for my kids.

ONE MORE THING: Steve has finals coming up. He needs to study!

We told him last week to study. Again at the beginning of the weekend to study, and every day that he had to study.... but he didn't even pick up the book.
What am I supposed to do?
Open the page to the stuff he's supposed to know and jam his face in it?
Am I supposed to turn the pages for him too?!

He thinks I won't let him fail or something... maybe I just should step all the way back (and warn him ahead of time that I'm doing it) and let him fail. In highschool he can do that. I want him to be accountable, but I don't want to let him get crushed or abandoned either.



 Okay. Rants over. Back to our regular programming of decluttering, lovely photos and good things.