A white Christmas after all

F A M I L Y

 

 

F O O D

 

S N O W!?

 



 

It was a wonderful day... Merry Christmas 2012, my day was merry and bright, I hope yours was too.

Tis the Season

It really feels like Christmas now!

The kids are off school now until next year.

T's brother (and his long time girlfriend) just got here from the far North.

Christmas shopping simply has to be done... hopefully people are okay with low-key presents this year. Not that I'm broke, I just don't want a big deal.

My ipod has a "Christmas Tunes" playlist made up with everything from Bing to Boney M and a bucnh of classical music too.

A big, house-full coming today for a ham dinner!

M E R R Y    C H R I S T M A S    T O    Y O U

SNOW!

Well, I didn't see that coming! The weather man has been saying that snow was unlikely anytime in the foreseable future, then BAAAM there it is in slushy, fat flakes last night after dinner. If that wasn't shocking enough, it actually stuck around! We woke up this morning to the power going out (and staying out for over an hour) and on the ground was the snow: crunchy frozen on top and slushy on the bottom, it's an evil brew for walking in... and even worse for scraping off the sidewalk. Heavy, awkward, messy. I'm glad it doesn't happen often in this part of Canada.

 

Poor kids, there wasn't enough to stop school today.

New house - New Christmas Experience

 Amazing! This is the first house we have ever lived in that has CHOICES for Christmas tree placement! I didn't even have to rearrange furniture to set it up. AND we didn't have to drag our freshly harvested tree through the kitchen (a Norway spruce)... the slider off the livingroom made it oh so tidy and convenient.

  

 

A new house means new challenges and opportunities for the holiday decorations. I enjoyed it and also enjoyed getting rid of 3 boxes of things I didn't need or want in the way of Christmas decor for this house. And the house came "pre-strung" with the big outdoor lights on the gutters. I love the glow those big, old lights give off even if they are power-suckers. A flick of the switch and we look festive! Which is great because T doesn't like hanging lights (LOL).

 

The shopping is done and the big meal is planned. No baking done yet (not sure if I even will this year). I toned down the Christmas chaos by A LOT this year. Not so many gifts for the boys and not so many people on the list.  I hope nobody minds. It's just gotten so out of hand, bigger and fancier every year. It's supposed to be a gesture of caring, not a chance to go in debt right?

 

 

(how is he not bald?)

 

I am feeling the Christmas spirit of love and giving though. It's been easier to make donations and share the joy through random acts of kindness (loading parking meters for example) .... I guess I feel less frazzled this year. BUT the chores don't end, and the mountain of dog hair accumulates as fast as ever... can't let my guard down on that front or the obnoxious tumbleweeds will get into the decorations along with all the normal spots.

 

I still love the flow and function of this house's floorplan. T says the kitchen is harder to clean than the old one... pretty sure that's because it's bigger. The only thing lacking (that I can tell) is bathroom exhaust fans. It's a bit humid in here after we've all had a shower, that's for sure. So we crack a window open (letting the heat out) until the mirror clears. Brrr. Good thing we live in a temperate part of Canada!

 

The chickens are content out in their yard clucking away, though they have completely stopped laying (hopefully just for the season). What fun pets they are. Fluffy and entertaining and full of character. Totally worth the small cost of feed and time that they require.

 

We walk to school every day. The dog just loves that! It's a good walk: out our back gate, across a park field, down a quiet, tidy suburb street and up the back field of the school. Max can be off-leash for most of it. By going out the back we miss all the traffic that is on our street. And if I feel like going for a woodland walk afterwards, the wilderness trails are next to that park field on the way home.... it's a good life here.

 

A drawback is with all the big trees around (the ones that keep us so comfortable in the Summer) we get almost no sunshine in the yard with the low angle of the Winter sun. I can SEE it shining through the trees and across the street, but it doesn't quite get high enough to clear the trees and touch the ground here. (At the other place the sun hit our house any time of year with it's southern exposure and placement on the high side of the street - brutal in the Summer, but cheery the rest of the time). If we could talk the people that own the strip of trees behind our house to top them or thin them, we would get the Eastern light. Not sure how well that would go, but before next winter I will try to talk to them.

All in all, the house is awesome, and the kids love it, but no place is PERFECT.

2012 Halloween - not scary at all

Big boy is too old to trick or treat.... left at home. Boo Hoo

The younger designed his own costume... the rare and ominous "Dark Stig"

(you have to be a Top Gear BBC fan to get that reference).

Mommy was a cowgirl.

(It's the best picture I got but you can't even see my boots or hat LOL)

The weather had been MISERABLE all day, but cleared up to a perfect evening for trick or treating. The Stig and I went up to the awesome subdivision up the street with the cousins and school friends. A mob of 11 little ghouls tromped house to house together. It was brutally busy, hundreds of kids swarmed the streets up there!

The new house got only got 2 princesses to get our candy this year, so I HAD treats left over.

Then the dog must have decided to get back at me for leaving the house without him the next day. I came home from the bank to an empty bucket. Just a couple sour candies left. Honestly it hadn't occurred to me that the dog would be interested in plastic-wrapped sugar! I didn't connect the mystery of the empty bucket to Max for quite a while because he wasn't even acting sheepish. After searching the house for the "missing" treats, I figured out what must have happened. I went online and apparently I had to induce vomiting. So I searched how to do that and got Max to puke with some Hydrogen Peroxide. Sure enough, lots of wrappers came out. Hopefully what is left will pass without any permanent damage. I'm not terribly worried after seeing some of the things he's pooped over the years. I guess he can't be trusted as much as I thought. Who would have thought he'd be interested in taffy, milk duds and maltesers?

DOGS!

I got a wig

One advantage to having short hair is the ease of wig wearing. It was either this one or a blond. And, well, I'm just not blond-believable!

I (heart) my house

I am very pleased to report that the more time I spend in this house the more I love it!

The flow, the space, the yard. It's like it was made just for my family.

The best part is when the boys come in from playing [bikes/ball/running/climbing/roughhousing] outside and say "I love this yard - I love this house".

The kitchen is wonderful for cooking - even with more than one cook in it. And we have already had a 13 person dinner that was comfortable instead of cramped. So very cool.

Sharing my office with the extra-large familyroom has been working out just fine. It motivates me to keep my desk tidier too, and I'm burning less dinners with the kitchen on the same level as my work space!

Sleepovers are easy, the dog doesn't have to run through the kitchen to get outside, groceries are easy to pack into the house... I could go on and on.

Another truly wonderful thing is the feeling of actually staying put. In the other house (even after 13 years) I always felt it was a "stepping stone" house. That's what we bought it for. So I was hanging onto things that didn't really fit. Things that I truly loved that would be hard to replace... so I crammed them in awkward places in the other house. With this house I feel like it's the place I'll be in until the kids leave home if not well into my golden years. As a result I feel comfortable letting go of anything that doesn't fit. The great new is that all the things I truly love seem to have a natural and logical place here (another reason it feels so "right").

Things are just flying out of here that I don't feel compelled to keep. Things that made sense in our walk up basement house, that don't make sense in the rancher. Boxes and boxes and boxes of it.

Now, in this place, there is breathing room between the furniture. It's refreshing, and the proportions are spacious without feeling vacuous to me. I don't feel like I'm fighting the walls to arrange the furniture. (The exception is the sunken living room, the awkward placement of entry and egress is slightly difficult for TV placement).

Speaking of TV.... we can't set up the satellite here. But that doesn't seem to have cramped our style too much. We got Netflix (probably one of the last people I know to do so) and though the selection is limited, I have no shortage of shows & movies I've never seen. AND the other TV happily hooks up to and HDMI port in the laptop and we watch videos from our favourite channels' websites.  Amazing picture quality really!

So our entertainment bills have gone down too. What a great place.

Home sweet home. It's worth the expense of moving, the headaches of renovating and the longer mortgage commitment. YAY!

Photobooks are fun

I made a new photobook!
Shutterfly is a great thing for shutterbugs like me.

Click here to view this photo book larger

Shutterfly allows you to customize your photo book just the way you want.

here is my newest book

Kitchen Progress

the goal:

 

the starting point:

 

BC (before counters):

Today: ! :)

 

Floors Glorious Floors

I am typing this to the sound of an air nailer putting down maple flooring. Yes, this brings me joy with each abrassive "CRACK!" because that sound means another board is in place.

The last minute line up change in installers turned out to be a great idea. This mature and experienced fellow is so much better.... not as much fun to talk to, but much more effective at installing hardwood and thats what is important.

It is slow going... I am glad we agreed on a price ahead of time. So far 1/2 of one room in 8 hours. He says it's always slow to get started in a new house. At least it's normal.

Something to walk on

Still NO floors in the living areas!

Our first option was a nice, bamboo strand clic down. Rated very high for durability and environmental renewability. Not the cheapest but not overly expensive, and the installatino was going to be quite reasonable.

I had the delivery timed quite a while before moving out of our old place so we could have it in before we got there. When it arrived, we hauled the 2 pallets of boxes into the house. We even had the installer lined up. BUT when he went to start installing it the proper Monday he found the "clic" part wasn't clicking and the milling was sloppy. AKA he couldn't put it in.  There's a week of wasted time and half day's labour for squat.

It had to be returned. All loaded (by hand) back outside so they could pick it up.

We looked at replacements. Nothing in that product looked reliably consistant (I wanted to cry). We looked at laminate, but nothing held a candle to the real thing - not even the high end stuff. The engineered hardwood is not an option because of the dog, he'd ruin it in short time. So the only thing left to consider is the same stuff we have in the other house - maple/birch. Okay with me because its beautifully warm, but much pricier to install.

Meanwhile we have moved into the back yard with the furniture stacked up in one room, and a million boxes under the house waiting for floors. I thought we would just be waiting for kitchen cupboards... how naive of me.

We took our bamboo refund and applied it to the maple.

We found some cork at a different store for the bedrooms, we picked it up and had it installed 2 days later. Not bad, now we have bedroom floors! And they are looking good, 3 rooms that we don't need to wear shoes in!

They delivered the maple 3 days later... BUT they delivered 2 different kinds of flooring. Same hardwood, different manufacturer. Very sad. Ready to blow my top. The one I picked out at the store was fine, but only enough to do one of the rooms! The other manufacturer is not fine. Not at all.

They had delivered it at 4:30 on a Friday. Because the delivery guy had gone home for the whole weekend and we couldn't leave it outside over the weekend, our choice was to haul it all into the house and out again on Monday, OR we had to load it up box by box into our truck to take it back to the store. What a waste of time! T chose to drag it back to the store himself. The only positive part of that is that it was a good upper-body work out.

I was fed up, and I told my woahs to the store manager. He apologized and did the best he could to make it right. We got replacement (a slight upgrade) for a cheaper price and another delivery came Monday. It looks fine. FINALLY.

While this whole floor drama has gone on, the installer had been busy with the cork and setting some vinyl in the bathrooms. I'm sad to say, I could have done just as well with the vinyl. It's slightly crooked and not cut with precision enough for what I would call a "professional installation". This shakes my confidence in his abilities to install the hardwood.

He called this very morning to say he couldn't come in to start on the maple because of babysitter problems. He's a nice young man and loves to work... single dad with a toddler... not positive he has the skills is all that I'm worried about.

With that early orning call, I think the universe is telling me to look elsewhere. I called a reputable high-end hardwood seller and asked for a list of installers. I called 3 and one agreed to come out to look right away. He did! An older man with more than 20 years experience with hardwood floors and a thick eastern european accent. He recognized the dips and humps on the substrate before I even pointed them out (something the first guy didn't do) and had a plan with how to deal with them. A bit of surgery on the structure of the house, but he said it should only take him 3/4 of a day to fix it. I got a good solid quote from him, and we shook on it.

It will be 75 cents MORE per square foot than our original installer qoted, but experience can be expensive. I called my carpenter to tell him we were going with a different installer, and he said he understood.

That is the drama of looking for something to walk on.

I will let you know how it goes...

The journey

Moving is a big deal. I don't know when it became a big deal, but it really is now. As a kid we moved on average every 6 months to a year.... sometimes my mom would move, sometimes my dad would move. We lived in a boat for a while, we lived in a trailer for a bit too. Apartment, townhouse, basement suite and some very nice houses over the years. Sometimes my room was small, or I had to share or it smelled damp. But it is what it is when you are a kid... sometimes it felt like a downgrade, not that that mattered because it was always temporary. The hardest part was leaving the friends.... especially when a change of schools was required.

As a grown-up I have also had my fair share of addresses... the standard issue college years apartments, basement suite, etc. One thing though, I have never had a place on my own. And I am actually fine with that, because I want to be with my husband for as long as we both shall live (corny but true).

Since having kids moving has taken a whole new perpective.
Before: Moving = Change = Exciting
Now: Moving = Upheaval = Stress

It doesn't help that the ADHD that has found it's way from my husband to children is a condition that has a very hard time with a change in routine. There are tears, temper tantrums and long moments of quiet moping.

Adding renovating to this major upheaval and I am surrounded by 3 people that are experiencing regret for ever agreeing to this.

Mostly I don't agree.

Mostly I still think it's still a great idea. Even when the floor is returned. Even when the hotwater tank started leaking. Even while I'm digging through box after box looking for indredients and tools to make dinner out in the back yard.

When I do agree to have some regrets is when I try to open the screen door and it sticks and warps and refuses to budge when I have an armload to clothes to bring in off the line. I also feel some regret when I go to open the front door and catch a wiff of stale cigarette smoke in the woodwork even after scrubbing the thick brown sludge off repeatedly.

Mostly I feel like maybe I bit off more than I could chew when I add up the costs of getting rid of the nicotine... we could not have lived here without dealing with it. Honestly it was toxic. Painting, sealing, flooring, cupboards, heaters, even light fixtures switches and plug recepticals all had to be replaced. Not just ugly, they were not cleanable, brown and sticky. That part was a mistake... thinking the house just needed a good cleaning.... live and learn.

It's a good thing I still love the yard and floorplan. I can still see it's potential and feel a tingle of excitement of how it's going to be when it's done.

Bottom line is we are going to be spending waaaaay more on this house than we did on the last one. BUT I think this home has excellent bones and will serve us into old age -- once we get it done.

Oh ya.

I haven't done a lick of work since the 24th because my computer is not set up... because my desk is not set up... because I have no floors yet.

What did it do the their LUNGS?

I hope you can see it in the pictures... the grungy yellowing on the ceiling...

... the sticky patina on every window track...

... the thick, sticky grit on every horizontal surface (no matter how small)...

... not only did they smoke, they never moved appliances to clean them either!

And we noticed as we ripped up the floor that their dog (or dogs) used this railing post as an indoor firehydrant if you know what I mean!

Good thing this blog doesn't come with realisting smells, because you'd never want to come back!

So if their home looked like this with over 1800 sq feet to spread out in, imagine what their lungs looked like! Eeek.

DEMO DAY #3

Not so much of a demo day for me... but my sister's boyfriend took out the ugly closet sort of thing from the laundry room. The amazing (and disturbing) thing was when the cedar structure was removed, the room improved in odor drastically before I'd even washed the walls in there!!!

That is bad news because there are the gorgeous cedar ceilings and "feature walls" in the big rooms that are probably completely saturated with the evil stink. So we have been told it's not really "cleanable" but will need to be sealed. But with what?

My day was filled with the tediuos task of rinsing the walls. Every stroke of the rag made a difference, and even going over it several times, the yellow would seep in again by the time it dried.

CRAZY

At the old house we managed to get 2 truckloads out and into the crawlspace.

We are moving very very soon now in the grand scheme of things... and unfortunately we must be out of this house before the other one will be even remotely ready.

At least it will be clean and have floors again, so the furniture can probably go into a few of the rooms. The kitchen won't be here, so the BBQ, slowcooker and trailer galley will get used for the interm. I'm hoping it will be as much fun as camping, with the bonus of toilet access!

DEMO DAY #2

And on day 2 the house begins to look more sane.

The rest of the cupboards are out! So is the terrible pink formica backsplash.  And the vinyl and underlayment (and about a million super sized staples).

While removing the trim around a sliding glass door, I got quite close to the vertical blinds and nearly barfed from the overwhelming stale nicotine smell.... so immediately I got T to remove those from every window.

No carpet tack strips remain, and the glued down carpet from the front room is a pile of disgusting fibers on the back porch....(instead of a flat expanse of disgusting fibres in the front room)... too much glued foam is still on the subfloor, but I'm sure with more elbow grease it will be done tomorrow.

Sweet sweet generosity brought T's sister over to help, and while her 3 lovely children played with Cammy in the backyard, she washed every wall with TSP!!! Oh man, what a difference!

The home is becoming a clean slate:

The paint colours have been chosen (we had to go very very nearly white because the light is fairly limited). Painters are coming Monday.

The cabinets got ordered too (eek, I can't wait for the house money to finally come).  They will take 3 weeks so we are (without a doubt) living in our trailer in the backyard for at least a week between the sale of the house we are in now and the new house having a kitchen.

The bamboo flooring is waiting for us at the warehouse (I need to pay for it by Tuesday). The carpenter is coming starting Thursday to start installing.

Tomorrow the plan is to clean the dickens out of the windows (and frames), get the last of the baseboards off, somehow remove the glued foam from the frontroom floor and remove the itty bitty nails from everywhere in preparation for the painters.

Lots of  intense labour and soon it will be ready to start putting back together! (Except the cedar ceiling... we still aren't sure how to get the ugly nicotine off that).

DEMO DAY #1

In a mad flurry of crow-bar-weilding action, most of the flooring is now gone.

No turning back, the pocket door between the kitchen and front room is now removed - drywall and all - leaving a huge opening for french doors (to let in waaaay more natural light). And to really drive to point home that this house is ours and nobody else's T and my stepdad ripped out half of the cabinets already. Built like they were bomb shelters of heavy thick mahogany boards, the things are ungainly awkwardly installed with about a million nails. The mighty sawzall came out at one point!

My back will hate me tomorrow I am so very very sure.

There is a big UGLY pile of soiled underlay and brown shag carpet on the back patio keeping company to a few hundred feel of carpet tack strips (nasty sharp buggers they are). I NEVER EVER EVER want wall to wall carpet again. Vile stuff.

There are still some very serious decisions to be made (all of which are expensive). Can I live with the bathrooms?... except the lack of floor.... yes I think I can. A good scrub and new floors should do it for now. Paint the subfloor? definitely. We still need flooring ordered for the bedrooms, T is dead against laminate and obviously I don't want carpet... cork. sure cork. Expensive, hearty, warm.

My generous step-dad has offered to chip in the difference between laminate countertops and granite! Holy moly the kitchen would look like a million bucks with granite!

That would be amazing, but we'll have to find a granite on the less-expensive end of the spectrum.

Anyways that's all to report for DAY ONE of demolition.

We are really moving

After a depressing lull in viewings (typical right now for the whole market) we DRASTICALLY cut our price to below even what the Realtor tour thought it may go for... and it worked!

We finally got an offer... much lower than we had hoped for, but the conditions and possession date were PERFECT so we haggled briefly on the price and signed the papers. The inspection was Thursday and the conditions came off Friday!

Sure we took a beating compared to what we thought it was worth, but the truth is even with this dip in the market we sold for more than double what we bought it for 13 years ago. And I still think the other house's potential is worth the hassle.

So who is moving into this pretty home that I have so lovingly put money, time and caring into for 13 years? This house that has my beloved cat resting in the backyard, where uncounted numbers of BBQs happened on the back porch and dozens of big family dinners and where my youngest was born... ?  Where most of my neighbours are really my friends and the sounds of the gazzillion field and marsh birds wake me up with the dawn? From what I can tell, they are first time buyers. 22 and 24 years old with a very young child. They must have family in town because the evening of the inspection they had about 6 cars in the driveway! I feel good that this young couple will be getting such a good house for a good price. (My first place was a dump!) And at least 3 of the neighbours are thrilled that there is a young kid moving in.

Now comes the fun part.... several fun parts in fact.

I have lined up the painter (coming July 16th) and carpenter (for the flooring and trim) for the other place. The kitchen cabinets and the majority of the flooring is being ordered on Wednesday. (!) Surprisingly stressful proccess designing a kitchen! There are too many things to get done in the time we have between the possession of the other place and the move-out date for this one!!!!

That's something too!

I have 24 days to purge, pack and move this household... even if we have no floors or kitchen on the 25th!

AND I still need to be able to continue working throughout this whole reno/move thing!

It's going to be hectic (but I still prefer this over the stress of WAITING.... by a lot)

We are still playing the real estate game and Life keeps on going...

Father's Day weekend we took in a nice little car show in Parksville. I love car shows. All the pretty colours, shiny chrome and exquisite details on those rolling pieces of art... they fill me with a happy feeling.

But the only thing that occupies our idle moments.... no one has bought our house yet.

We took a very sharp knife to our price this week (but it still hasn't shown up on the MLS dang it!) our home is now the least expensive in the neighbourhood... yes the reek of desperation is thick in the air around here.

We toyed with the idea of keeping the house and renting it out -  only because for a moment that seemed like an easy solution to the time crunch. But after careful consideration by talking to the bank and adding up all the monthly expenses for having a rental and seeing what the rental market will bear and looking a the pros and cons of owning rental properties we decided it would be a whole lot of stress prolonged month to month with "potential" great gains or -just as likely- great losses. If we had no dependants and were feeling optomistic about people in general we may have tried it at least temporarily. Alas we have dependents and it would be very irresponsible of us to risk the very roof over our head on  such expensive speculation.

As a result we just cut the price deep and are crossing our fingers for a speedy resolution to our anxiety.

Packing a little extra weight

I was a scrawny teen. I was teased for my bony arms and legs. My teeth looked HUGE on my awkwardly proportioned frame. Not my fault, genetics gave me an insatiable appetite and skinny limbs. The teasing was bad, but worse was when I would get sick, even missing one or 2 meals to the flu would knock me right down as a weak, bedridden mess.

When I finally started getting some extra weight, I happily called it my "insurance" or "padding". I could have the flu for DAAAAYS and not be dangerously malnourished! I enjoy a little curve and cold days don't bring spasms of shivers as easily anymore.

I just now found another happy use for a plush booty!

I was up a ladder lifting something off the mezzanine for a web-classified customer and something else fell... it caught on what I was lifting then tipped myself and the ladder over!!!! Amazingly the slow-motion action of scary situations gave me time to develop a plan: drop what's in my hand, crumple down most of my height and let my self land on the most padded part of my body (no twisting my ankle today from the shock of the concrete floor please). I'm pretty sure that my bottom bounced! I think I will get a bruise on my derriere but no sprains, strains or shocks anywhere. And the thing I dropped made it to the concrete floor without breaking anything.

To that I say "Hooray for Fat! Hooray for Padding! Hooray for my Personal Insurance!"

Tick Tock

The 10 x 5 storage locker is FULL. (We decided to put the 2nd china cabinet in there to make the living room show it's full size) Tick Tock Tick Tock

Our house is as close to a show home as it can be without repainting.

Holy Moly is it easy to clean right now! And the more I clean, the more dirt I see, it's amazing how that works. We have had 3 showings now... tick tock tick tock

Strangely the stress of it all is calming down. I am confident that I am doing all I can do and it is up to the Realtors' to get people through my house now.

T is so stressed out he is inside out with it, a zombie of flustered absentmindedness (slightly dangerous driver that way honestly). Steve (the oldest) is fine with the idea now. Cami is fine during the day but still aprehensive about moving after the sun goes down. I can't blame them, this has been the only place they call home for 12 years! For the boys that's their whole life. Growing up I had already lost count of how many places I called home in the first 12 years.

Change can be good. We are going in with eyes wide open and hearts full of hope for the new place.

Still it would be very very nice to sell our place (or at least have a forward moving offer) very very soon... tick tock tick tock

Rolling the dice

I don't play cards, I don't visit the casino, I only buy a lottery ticket when I remember to... but lately I have taken the big chance...When I gamble, I gamble BIG!

We just couldn't let the deal on the other house die. We defended our offer and solidified the financing. In short, we are now on the hook for a scary (make that terrifying) amount of debt if our home doesn't sell in time. EEEEEK!

Gasp wheeze (clutching chest).

We have a very long closing date so theoretically we can put our house at a price no sane person could refuse we have enough equity that we can play that game if we must. But I'm still panicing and the husband is spiralling fast with stress-related ailments (he doesn't deal with change well at all).

So, wish us luck, happy house-selling vibes and smooth transitions.... we are in for a big adventure, and FAST!

House Hunting

I am a house addict I guess I just have to admit it.

House plans, decor magazines, HGTV channel, and the worst part..... the Multiple Listing Services on the web. Oh MLS how you taunt me with your sweet promises of a better life!

My house is great, it's cozy, bright and the location is friendly (at least 90% friendly). BUT the steep driveway and the lack of detached shop has been an annoyance since the beginning, and since the cranky neighbour moved in hanging out anywhere near the driveway (or north side of the house) feels awkward if not hostile! I don't want to move because of that lady though. The other niggling things are the layout of the familyroom, the beloved heirloom china cabinets don't both fit in the nook (shy 2 inches!) and there is no mudroom (or back door) for the grubby monkeys, it all gets tracked in the front. In a city with as many houses as this one, I know there has to be a perfect fit out there somewhere.

That's why I look. That's why I get lured into the dream of moving to a flat driveway and big shop and one level living.

Then again this house has served us for 12 years! We have made it our home one modification after another. And we are engrained in the neighbourhood.

I looked at a .6 acre parcel not far from our place with a large rancher with a new roof and a big detached shop.... level lot too! Drawbacks include heavily smoked in interior, original kitchen and busy road.... otherwise the floor plan is great, and the yard has the things I want, big patio off the kitchen, a small fenced veggie garden, a few fruit trees, and a level driveway with lots of room to turn around before getting onto the busy road. The location is sweet backing onto a trail that goes to our favourite sports field that is connected to our favourite walking trails and a short walk to school or my sister's!!!

T and the kids liked it too so we put in an offer (even if the tobacco smell did make my eyes water when entering the house).

The offer was accepted with our subjects including the sale of our place and an inspection. They wrote in the 48 hour escape clause giving them the right to force us to get the money together in 2 days if they get another offer that they want to accept.

I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off getting boxes, renting a storage unit (oh how I loathe the thought of needing one) and packing away anything that detracts from the feeling of "space" and relaxation in the house... of ya and the personal stuff like family photos and trophies, kid art, etc.

It's been a couple days and the house is turned right upside down despite having 2 pickup truck loads carted off. I feel so messy. The listing of our house is live this evening.

The bad news came this afternoon. The other house has another offer. The have enacted the 48 hour clause. We can't do it. Our offer is dead.

We have decided to keep our house listed for now and see what happens.

If people want to buy the house, we will panic and go house hunting in a crazy fast forward way. If people want to have viewings at stupidly inconvenient times we will gripe and moan. Meanwhile the house will be clutter free until my storage locker contract is up in 3 months. And then I can chose to take those boxes to the thrift store or back home. LOL

"Conspiracy" Documentaries

I love these things. I guess I would rather know all the arguments than be blindsided by sensationalist nonesense. The library is a perfect place to get my fix.

"Who killed the electric car" not my fave, but I watched it
"Gashole" about the big oil companies of the US squelching innovations in fuel economy/alternatives.

"Bowling for Columbine", "Sicko", "Farenheit 9/11",  "Capitalism" all by Michael Moore are great for making me feel superior as a Canadian (then I am embarrassed that I fell for that).

"An Inconvenient Truth" I liked it (guiltily) because I like looking at Gore. But even if half of what he said was blown out of proportion we are in big trouble.

For food I am a big fan of "Food Inc." and the DVD version of "Botany of Desire" is very pretty.

Just the other day I watched a well-done more personal documentary the other day called "King Corn" about the story of..... well, corn. Like "Food Inc" it mentioned the big seed and pesticide giants squeezing the small farmers, and how making this food a commodity (with subsidies by the govt to help) has made a massive surplus and still bankrupts the farmers. Worth the time to see.

But thinking about these things all together had me make an uncomfortable connections... Developing countries are slashing and burning giant sections of forest to plant ethanol crops. Not even food for themselves, but FUEL so we can feel "greener" about filling our SUV's.

YIKES!

Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees, killing the golden goose AND throwing the baby out with the bathwater all at once!

And another thing. Corn. It's such an amazingly cheap plant material that chemists have turned it into almost everything but people food. With tweaks to structures, and a bit of energy, they can cheaply make it into fuel, plastics, high-fructose corn syrups, beast meal, etc, etc, etc. It's everywhere and that's not natural. But the worst part is that to grow THAT MUCH CORN, it is an empire based on a GMO seed that is doused in natural gas based pesticides/herbicides/fertilizers since before even being put in the ground and long afterwards. In one of these documentaries it mentioned how forcing these lowly grasses to yield so much they need to exploit many hundreds of times the natural "solar" nitrogen fixing units that a farmer could have provided in the 60's by way of crop rotations, compost, manure and other naturally derived fertilizers. Fossil fuel based fertilizers have a cool property that has captured and stored a whole lot of concentrated year's worth of plant/sunshine nitrogen. Once the scientists unlocked those solar elements to be usable by presently living plants -- whoah nelly! -- Farming was revolutionized! Specifically though, this corn stuff is taking literally thousands and thousands of acres to grow phenominal quanities of one genetically specific thing that simply cannot grow without the use of fossil fuels (and lets not forget about the energy needed to make the fertilizer or the toxic by products). And the soil that the corn crop occupies can grow NOTHING else because it is saturated with the fossil fuel derived materials.

What the heck are we humans doing?! I am worried for my kids.

hello again!

sorry I've been absent.

good stuff like birthdays and great quantities of work... bad stuff like hospital runs with family members (everything is under control now, don't worry).

Weather Craziness

If you don't like the weather, just wait 5 minutes!

Wow this March is exactly like that.

Today and everyday this week I have seen sunshine, driving rain, hail and sloppy snow.

It's interesting, but makes it hard to plan any outdoor activities.

I'm looking forward to a morning without scraping the windshield, and maybe even puttering in my garden again.

Not that I haven't eaten anything from the garden lately... I have served some swiss chard and found some tasty "weeds" growing conveniently in my garden plot called cress (peppery little greens that went beautifully with the tuna steaks I served a couple days ago).

Speaking of weeds, I see the nettles have just barely begun to come out of the ground.... I am thinking I may try them -- everyone says they are good. And I am waiting somewhat impatiently for the cattails to get green again -- crisp crunchy yumminess that they are.

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Work is great right now. Lots and lots of it to do (YAY!)

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The kids are in Spring Break with their busy social lives, and the big boy's FIFTEENTH birthday is fast approaching.

So much going on, so little time to share.

4 Decades

That's how long I've been breathing the good air of planet Earth... F-O-R-T-Y  Y-E-A-R-S!

Thirty didn't bug me, 30 meant I made it to adulthood with my goals and dreams intact. 30 meant I could be taken seriously in my career and as a consumer/investor.

This 40's thing isn't going over QUITE so sweetly. Now I have to be afraid of looking like the "has been" in my career. My skills may be mature but they may also be seen as out-dated. Now I'm not considered ahead of the game with investing -- quite the opposite, I have to be afraid of getting to the point where I need to catch up! The magic of compound interest over time is less effective now than it was when I started this last decade... it's scary!

But that's just the money part.

This decade I get to experience a whole other world of deteriorating body bits. I can expect to see my eyes tire, my hair grey, my fluids change viscosity, and I have now entered the decade that took so many of my family members in the past by the big "C" disease. (Not that I think it will happen to me, I don't have the same lifestyle that my dad or the others had). I will be regularly getting health checks I've never had before.

I am already experiencing some alarmingly fast changes as of a few months ago.... deteriorating tendinosis in my achilles tendons, and waaaaaay less stamina or muscle endurance than even last year (bloodwork says I'm slightly anemic now so go figure) and my pituitary gland is working hard to keep my thyroid even. Theoretically it can do that for years before anything bad happens, so I can't worry about it unless something changes. Oh and there are the vericose veins... freaking ugly and painful things THOSE are! (but I only have one so far).

It's not all doom and gloom though.

I'm happy to say my wrinkles are from smiling and whistling mostly... and I can live with that (most of the time), and I haven't experienced any scary weight gain like some of my family has.

So I'm not feeling great physically compared to my 30 year old self, but I think I feel pretty good for a 40 year old honestly.

No major illnesses to fight, no surgeries, no divorce.

My country is at peace, my kids are healthy, my marriage is healthy and my finances are under control.

Happy Birthday to me!

Special Day

Leap year days are always special to me...

My young mom had to have a C-section and a decision had to be made what day my birthday would be... she COULD have chosen February 29th, but she thought it may be easier on me if it was March 1st instead. How interesting would that have been if she'd chosen differently, eh?

Also, most year's my Grandma B's birthday and mine are next to each other but on a leap year they are separated by a day.

So here I am on a leap year day pondering the strange circumstances that give us our birthdays, silently appreciating my mommy for all she has done over the years, not the least of which was give me a "normal" birthday date.

The magic budget!

I suspected that if I did up my budget I would feel less like I was spiralling out of control -- and it worked!

My finances look clearer... not wonderful, but definitely clearer.

However teeth have taken a "bite" out of my confidence. The dog broke ANOTHER molar over Christmas (thanks to getting a nice meaty pork bone from a well-meaning relative) and it's stinking to high heaven so I guess I HAVE to get that taken care of (the last one he broke cost over $500). And Steve needs braces starting in June... it will be costing $7000 by the time that is done... (unfortunately, unless I want him to suffer the same narrow palate complications as I have, it has to be done while his skull is still young.) My teeth don't LOOK bad, but my bite is terrible and my jaw discomfort is chronic.... my lucky boy has the same mouth structure. I don't want to curse him to lifelong discomfort but I'm not happy about dishing out the $7G either.

The good news (awesome news actually) is that T's job looks secure and full time for the foreseeable future and he has been getting so much side-line mechanical work that I barely see him on weekends. I have told him to slow down because I can see it's burning him out but that's another story. He wants that cash, so I can't stop him -- he'd rather burn out than feel poor, what an amazing sense of responsibility that man has!

More good news, my business has finally picked up again too! Hooray! I have a list of 10 items for design work and 5+ HVAC schematics to do. AND I have an interview for a new bread-and-butter client tomorrow that I feel good about AND a potential part time job opportunity may exist to expand my skill list and reinforce my existing knowledge in a parallel field (but it would officially make me unavailable to my clients 2 days a week, so I have to think very seriously about that)

Call me superstitious, but I think all this good news is because I took the bull by the horns and did my budget. Nothing like seeing written down - exactly what you need - to let the universe know that you are ready to get it!

Hair, Grit and Dust

ick.

my dog makes too much hair.

my family makes too much grit, grime and dirt

my house is perpetually dusty.

With these above truths in mind... I wonder what I do all day long. I'm a work-at-home mom... doesn't that mean my home should be CLEAN?

It's often tidy... but it doesn't stay CLEAN for long. Whirlwinds of dog hair swirl around on the stairs within minutes of vacuuming. I can't vacuum constantly.

Toothpaste speckles fleck the bathroom sinks and mirrors. Daily cleaning is the only answer to that. That's the only answer for the other bathroom zones too. But WHY do I have to be the one who cleans the toilets (and surrounding areas)? I am not the one spraying and splashing... seriously I hate it. I hate what I know is there, and how the dog and cat hair sticks to it. ICK is not a good enough word for it. I wish I could have convinced T to teach the boys to sit down... yes that would have been better I think.

The kitchen is the only room where I understand the grime. 3 meals per day = 3 clean ups per day. Perfectly logical, and worth the effort: the price of yummy food is a kitchen to clean.

It's the hair, dust and grit that get to me the most. I can't get ahead with it. I can't even catch up! It is my lot in life (while the dog is with us) to chase this mess around.

Good thing he's a good dog, that's all I can say about that!

Maybe if I Cared Less....

I remember one day when my 1st born was still fairly little, I had my mother in law over for coffee and I was sobbing in frustration "Why is this so HARD?" I was talking about parenting. She said something that really stuck with me, she said that it's only this hard because I care so much about doing it RIGHT. And of course she was right.

There are lots of really neglected children that actually grow up to be adults! Their parents carrying on as if they didn't even have kids, as if the raising of a human being is no responsibility of theirs and not accepting one bit of guilt or fault for how their offspring turn out. There are dad's that walk out (and mom's too) and, more socially acceptably, there are parents that dump their kids on nannies or grandparents to do the heavy lifting. (I have to admit, this last option as a part-time one would be AWESOME).

This job is only this hard because I've taken it on as my responsibility for these boys to become decent men... and by "decent" I mean: Kind, Responsible, Productive, Smart, Hard Working, Law Abiding, Financially Sound, Healthy, Skilled Men.

And also I want them to be confident, independent, with good self-image and a comfortable sense of humour and easy interactions with others.

At the moment I am struggling with fostering many of these attributes from my boys. Mostly because I don't want to FORCE it. I WANT them to develop these things easily and naturally ---- LOL!

I am confident they will turn out fine. I just can't help but wishing them to have the very best chances to meet their full potential. Learning disabilities, stubborn personality traits (from the boys AND me) and tight financial limitations are always hindering that dream.

Priorities are set, tried and often abandoned because life changes or the reality doesn't fit with the dream.

I think (maybe) I have found a balance with the older boy at last... I trust his judgement as good and his intentions as honest. His follow-through isn't always great, and he has NO work ethic built up yet (oh man, I hope that comes soon!) but his heart and sense of humour is something I am very proud of.  The younger is a tougher nut to crack. He has such a gentle heart, he is easily swayed by his peers and his sweet, quiet disposition gets him conveniently overlooked when he SHOULD be paying attention or staying on task. By the time anyone notices that he HASN'T heard the lesson, or done the work, it's time to move onto something else. It happens at home as often as at school. He just looks so content that you have to assume he's got it all together!

My goals for their educations have been downgraded over and over - and over. The only thing I am praying for now is that they get their Highschool Diplomas. I guess I care "less" about them making lots of money at careers they find rewarding... now I just want them to be employable and maybe be able to afford a hobby they find rewarding instead (ugh. That's not all I want for them, but I will have to be content with the idea for their sake).

Parenting is a strange task.... my ego is permanently intertwined with their performance/behaviour. And my heart is completely dependant on their very existence.

Knowing is Half the Battle

I did the budget.
I went over all of the expenses for 2011 (fixed, variable & "one-time")
I added up all the income for 2011 (steady, variable & unlikely-to-repeat)
I anticipated the monthly costs for fixed expenses based on past costs/increases
then I figured out how much was left for the variable.
The prognosis is not wonderful thanks to everything costing more this year! Medical went up, hydro went up, fuel went up, internet went up, house insurance went up, property taxes went up and food went WAAAAAY up thanks to a very hungry male teen in the house.

(Clothing and entertainment are costing no more than in the past, and phone, car insurance and home maintenance seem to be holding steady too.)

Unfortunately T's income did not go up, and I saw a slump last year.

The good news is that I do not have to bring in a whole heck of a lot to make ends meet even with these increases everywhere. Part time is still good enough, and I am appreciated so much at home that working away would be very very hard if it came to that.

I'll keep a close eye on things and campaign for more work so we can keep ahead of the game.... it's not a lost cause by any stretch... just walking an uncomfortably narrow path in increasingly deep woods.

My husband feels embarrassed that his income alone is not enough. (bless him for that). But he wants me at home as badly as I want to be here, and as much as the kids love having me here too. IT WILL WORK because I can work from home.

I feel more informed after this exercise. And knowledge is power, so I feel more powerful too!

not quite 40

I'm still in my 30's...

...for a couple more months anyways.

My 30s have been pretty good to me I think. I have everything I'd hoped to have by this time of my life (not saying my life is for everyone, but it is right for me). I'm a planner... and I must be okay at it because so far things are right on schedule. The only thing missing is the financial stability I was sure I'd have by now. Hey, it's not exactly bad, it's just not AS good as I though it would be by now.

I am smarter about some things now than I was 10 years ago.

There is now a greater appreciation for my health, a greater appreciation for the kindness and reciprocity of friends. I have a more realistic appreciation for the liquid properties of time, and the limited amount available in one lifetime. That was the hardest lesson so far.

But with the time passing so very quickly, I have felt pressure about the choices that must be made for this life. I cannot be everything I wanted to be. It's almost ludicrous to think I will finally get to design for a car company (not that I've tried very hard mind you). It is improbable that one of the inventions I have made in my head will reach production (but maybe one of my son's will?). Designing my own home to build and live in may not happen-- regrettably I have to accept it might not. And the dream of having an acreage for my children to play on seems to be getting more and more unlikely as each year passes (because my children are getting older and because the money hardly seems worth the change).

As hardened as I am with the reality of my mortality, I still feel very wide-eyed and full of wonder at all the stuff that this world has. No matter how old I get, I hope to keep that. Feathered frost creeping across my windshield has caught my breath with it's infinitely intricate patterns! Cresting the hill to see the sun hitting the far away coastal mountains, across the straight and so far away, the sight makes me gasp with the grandeur of it. Finding the perfect, fresh ingredients gets me giddy with the possibilities. I delight in the softness of my cat's soft fur and my dog's goofy antics. The stars in a clear night render me humble, small and happy. Seeing a tiny spiderling spin a line to catch a light breeze gives me boundless hope. I get a lot of joy a lot of the time... this world is full of magic, beauty and I love being alive!

First Snow

Nothing like waking up to a pristine, sparkling, white landscape to put a new perspective on life!

With a winter wonderland gleaming outside I felt to courage to email past clients to let them know I was thinking of them... how do I let these precious people get out of touch in the first place?!

Now, I will sit cross-legged on the floor and sort my papers to get organized for my year end. Then budget to feel in control!

It's very pretty out there right now, and I am warm and cozy.

Something is amiss

I'm not sure what's going on, but I am experiencing a phase of acute distress.

I don't trust my body, I don't trust my income, I worry about my children's future and am sure my pretty little car is going to die any minute...

Is it because Steve is needing almost $7G of braces (we have to get started before the summer or we will miss a growth window)? Or maybe because I have NO work lined up right now?

Or maybe because yesterday during my easy yoga class, my stupid body wouldn't go into plank or downward dog.... my thigh muscles just wouldn't do it (so I dropped into child's and had a quiet cry while the class that had seniors and overweight mid-lifers happily posed without me).  And my Achilles tendon screams at me even just walking up to the school (I went to see the doctor and should have the ultrasound results this week)

I have to be proactive and slap myself out of this funk.

First of all...I MUST BUDGET. Math always has a way of cheering me up with it's concrete reality.
What are my fixed expenses?
What are my necessary variable expenses?
What are my variable luxuries?
What is our reliable income?
What do I NEED to make to fill in the gap (if there is one)?
Where can I trim expenses?
What can I liquidate (if I must)?

Next.... I must campaign for work more aggressively. This is tricky because when I am feeling this down, I don't have the confidence to come across professionally nor do I feel like competing for contracts.... vicious circle.

And I must continue decluttering, continuing going to yoga, continuing campaigning for my children's education and most importantly be thankful for the things that I DO HAVE (love, home, family, friends, freedom.... etc etc)

Hair Today.....

Is this too extreme for me? Not the blondeness, I was thinking of the cut itself....

(photo credit of Michelle Williams

John Shearer//Getty Images)

(photo credit of Michelle Williams

Frazer Harrison//Getty Images)

(Me as of this very minute....)

Obviously I'm feeling like a major change with my "look" again. This hair thing seems to be cyclical for me (long, shoulderlength, short, long, short, shoulderlength....). It started when I was visiting a friend that I haven't seen in a while last week. She has sported a pixie-cut as long as I've known her, and I always feel a little wistful of my short-hair times when I hang out with her. She did remind me that short hair means frequent visits to the hairdresser (so there is a cost involved), but that daily care is easy peazy. 

Not that my hair is particularly difficult anyways. I wash, deep condition and air dry (but at a certain point of dampness I must be vigilant at getting it into a low bun to get it smooth -- if I miss that timing, it's frizzy chaos!) 

All in all my hair goes in the directions I like and it's at a length where up-do's are quite easy.... and therein lies the problem... my hair is ALWAYS in an elastic or barrette... wearing it down is annoyingly in my face, but when I am in my car the ponytail is annoying on the headrest so I tear the elastic out while I'm driving only to put it back up the second I park.

Not a big deal... and I feel a little silly mentioning it honestly. But if I'm wearing it up all day anyways, why am I keeping it longer? (cause it's so pretty?) I am vain about my locks. I really like brushing it. OMG I can't believe I'm admitting that.

I asked my darling husband and he said he's used to my hair long, but then again he fell in love with me when it was really short, so I don't think long hair is on the top of his hot-features-list.

Boys Will be Boys

Bad news.

My oldest boy has been at it again.

He hurt himself doing fun boy things --- again.

This time he used his hatchet. Theoretically he was cutting trails in the woods, and he was holding something he was chopping. His left hand got in the way, and now he has stitches (again).

Why do they have to learn the hard way? Telling them a million times doesn't make them careful enough.

The 2012 Transition

Wow, I have been quiet lately haven't I?

No excuses. I guess I was just being e-lazy.

Since getting the tree it has been all the usual chaos and traditions that go with Christmas. There was thoughtful present purchasing, wrapping, entertaining house guests (and their big dogs), lots of cooking, even more eating, feverish cleaning sprees, more house guests.... and mixed into all that was the regular routines of life and work.

It went very smoothly all-in-all. The big day came and went with a flurry of pretty paper, new toys and very very full bellies! We had 11 for the big breakfast and then 16 for dinner, so the house was rocking the whole day long.... I cooked A LOT, but had really good helpers too. If someone offered to help, then I put them to work.

By the 27th, the tree decided to drop it's needles (how come some trees keep their needles for ages and other can't wait to drop them all?). So between the 3 dogs shedding and fir tree needles mixed into every nook and cranny, I decided the one mess maker really could go.... so it went! The kids were surprisingly okay with the tree coming down so soon. In truth it had done it's job and done it well. This tree had created some cozy memories while displaying the trinkets we only get to see once a year. It glittered joyously in the evenings and built anticipation with the growing pile of bright packages underneath.

The good news is that even though everyone got "less" for Christmas this year, the kids didn't seem to notice, and the grown ups were all good sports too. I still managed to feel spoiled and the kids still managed to get the top thing on their list (grandparents are great for making dreams come true). There wasn't that gift-overload that seemed to happen in other more prosperous years! I think a valuable lesson can be learned from this.

After the tree was gone, the rest of the festive items came down bit by bit. No hurry. But for some reason I really prefer to have the most of it put away to start the new year fresh, I always have.

New Year's Eve was quiet... as normal for us. We stayed up, then drank some sparkling apple juice in champagne flutes at midnight. Then we munched on some genuine Italian Panettone cake (not sure when this became a tradition in this household, yummy) and hit the hay. Fireworks aren't allowed in the city limits here anymore (bah-humbug) so everyone is quiet.

The house guests left crazy-early on the 2nd, it was fun having them here even with the extra dogs.

And now we are over a week into 2012!

Yikes!

What will 2012 hold for us?
Well, for certain, I will turn 40.
This laundryroom WILL get finished!
My boys will grow
I will continue to make myself available to my family's needs.
Yoga on Mondays
.... and the rest? Who knows!