5.31.2010

The school system FORCES me to drug my son.

Once again I got the call today that Steve is vibrating and disruptive so he has been placed out in the hall during class time. I mention that there is a spare pill at the office (and apologize for forgetting to give him the pill at home). Teacher says he can't make a student take medication against his will, and Steve refuses to take it today.

I ask to talk to Steve.

Steve says he hates school, he hates his pill and he doesn't care about the consequences of missing the lessons for the day.

I want to be sympathetic.

I tell him that as long as he keeps in mind that any work he misses will have to be done after school, and with any lessons he misses it will be that much harder to understand the work that's associated with it.

I add that though it's his body, he still has the hormonal brain of a 13 year old so his judgement may not be the sharpest for his long term life right now.... (but then I add to that that I KNOW he is exceptionally good at being logical when he wants to be even with a 13 year old brain).

I tell him that it's his obligation (by law) to learn the curriculum whether he likes teachers or not, and that is no different for any kid in this country.

I tell him that at even though in the old days they didn't have this medication for ADHD kids to force on them, they did have the strap, grade failure and the option of getting a hard working job with a grade 6 education.... those options are not available these days. So either he has to find a way to manage his behaviour to the teacher's satisfaction without the medication or find a way to come to peace with it.

I tell him that I trust him to make the right decision and I trust him to accept the consequences of his actions.

What else can I do?

Sometimes I want to give all those lazy teachers the finger and say "Not everyone is going to sit quietly, but it's your job to teach -- so TEACH! I don't want to drug my boy!"

Other times I think about how hard it must be to be a teacher these days, there are no repercussions for difficult behaviour. Their class sizes are huge, they have only short time to reach each kid and too many learning styles to cover. They can't fail anyone anymore (no matter how far behind grade expectations) so they have an absolutely MASSIVE range between the brightest and the slowest of each and every subject, and then there are all the behavioural and social issues that are tossed in along with the kids with genuine learning disabilities and physical disabilities too. It must be so hard! Why wouldn't they insist that he take that little pill if it means one less disruption, less challenges for the day?

The teacher has the right to remove a disruptive student from his/her room. But where do Steve's rights fall into all this? He has the right to an education? He has the right to refuse drugs, right?

(Oh bloody hell. )

I don't have what it takes to homeschool. And even if I felt I could, Steve needs his friends too. What's a mom to do?

5.30.2010

My Trip in Pictures :Day 1

After getting off the overnight plane and meeting my dear friend's WONDERFUL husband (very early in the morning) he drove us directly to their lovely home, down frighteningly narrow lanes (yes this is a street!)...

Past vibrant fields of rapeseed, lambs and other crops....

To their front door, where we met their adorable little boy (age 2 1/2)...

... and their sweet little baby girl (3 months)....

I was a ZOMBIE and could not keep my eyes open, so while I snoozed, my sister went out to explore the local town (and she got the pictures). This is the village near where my friend lives, and my sister's first real sense of what English architecture may be like:


(real thatch roof! AKA "hatted and booted") After I woke up we went to Waddesdon Manor
"Just a house in the country for our gentry, wat"
Here is the stables.... (just one wing of it)
Pretty turrets and decorative chimneys compete with the ornate gardens.

LOVELY stairwell, don't you think?
And if you stroll through the gardens, you will find the aviary with lovely birds from all sorts of places...


And we make our way back to the manor house to explore the vast wine cellar.

Even the way to back to the parking lot was a feast for the eyes with cattle lounging in the pasture...


I found a small "ruins" with a cave-like shelter. I remember reading somewhere that rich people like to have their own, "hermit-dwelling" (camplete with resident hermit) because it was romantic.... I think I may have found theirs. The grounds went on forever with a huge children's playground in the woods, and outdoor theatre. It rolled on with gardens and orchards and woods, they also have a small cafe, gift shop, toy store, candy shope, stationary store, and an extensive garden shop attached to the greenhouses. What an amazing place, and all prvately owned by a wealthy, old family. Mindboggling!

And back we went to call it the end of a very long day.

5.27.2010

Rhythm of Home

Getting back into the rhythm of my life finally after the trip...

And one of the things that has come back is my need to get control of my "stuff" and my time. Noble goals, along with finding health and maintaining the loving relationships in my life, right?

I want to write a nice, long, thought provoking post about the psychology behind my "stuff" issues, and my procrastination issues and my justification for not excercising and spending enough one on one time with the boys (or my friends). BUT how is that productive? Does it move me closer to the goals? I will say they are all interconnected and somehow related to some insecurities I have carried around since childhood, but lets leave it at that and say I am chipping away at that mountain and seeing real results -- enough to keep me motivated.

My "plan" is still "a place for everything and everything is in it's place". And posing the question of whether my life will lack without these things is still very powerful with me. It's just deciding which things deserve a place in my life, and what the practical place should be and how it will work for the family (not just me).

And when is the appropriate time to do this decision-making?
Should I do it when I am mad at the mess?
When I am trying to avoid another chore?
Or should I schedule time for it?
Or only do it when I feel like it?
Can I make decisions about my boy's stuff without them (because I paid for it, it's my house and theoretically I'm doing what's best for them)?
Which of these options will the effort best honour the life I want for myself, and get me to the goals I have set for my life?

It will be done, I will find the balance of stuff, time and love, it is within sight and being touched regularly enough to be a real thing for me.

One thing for sure. The monetary value and potential value of things I already have has lost it's hold on me as I realize the more important value of clear space and peace of mind!

*** PS, I don't want to jynx it, but it looks like the lull in my work is OVER. Yesterday I got handed a big folder of mechanical drawings to do and today I had a great interview with a new (bread-and-butter) client! ***

5.23.2010

We were there!

Westminster Abbey's courtyard....
Stonehenge (brrrrr)....
On the bell tower of Notredamme looking out over Paris at the Eiffel Tower in the rain....


Near Gatwick on our last night in the UK....




5.20.2010

A little side track

I know I promised photos of the trip... they will come.

But I thought I'd give a quick run-down of life since being back home. Nothing puts it into perspective how spoiled for choice we are than living from a small suitcase for nearly 2 weeks. 5 pairs of undies, 4 pairs of socks, 2 pairs of pants, 4 shirts, a dress and a cardigan were the extent of my wardrobe choices. Regular sink washes and line dries kept things fresh, and somehow the lack of variety didn't become stale yet at the end of 12 days. Comin home to my 8 ft closet seemed a bit daunting to be honest. And I'm looking in there wondering why I have so much clothes.

Also on the clothes topic. My clothes dryer broke the night before last. It's been scorching the clothes that it "bites" from the sagged drum for AGES and finally terrible metal on metal noise grinded from the drum, so we couldn't ignore it any longer. I have had to line dry the last 4 loads in the last 2 days. Not easy when it's pouring down rain outside... my house looked like a turn of the century laundry or something. The good news is my husband is a very handy guy! He got a $50 part and took an hour to dismantle, repair and reassemble the offending drum area of the dryer. Now it works again!!!!

My cousin in England doesn't own a clothes dryer... she says electricity is too expensive, so she hangs her clothes in the garage in the winter and outside in the summer. Her closet is a 5 ft wardrobe, one side is dedicated to clothes, the other to jackets and coats. Now that's simplicity!

We really are spoiled in North America y'know, we really are.

5.16.2010

I'm BAAAAACK!

It was a trip to be remembered, we laughed, we cried, we gawked at countless old churches and thatch-roofed cottages, and we made it home safe and sound.

Right now I have to admit I am exhausted from all the actually travelling that was done. Walking, Flying, Trains and Buses, we never seemed to be just "staying put" at all. My friend Tai (who just got back from Mexico) says just lying pool-side is overrated and boring, but I think I could have used a day or 2 of that among all the sightseeing.

So for this post I will give the short version... lots of photos and more details are sure to follow.

May 2: Seaplane over to the big airport of YVR, no problems checking our bags or getting to our flight. There was a slight delay as a couple of people didn't board on time and their bags had to be removed from the plane and somebody had some sort of medical emergency before take off and the paramedics were called and removed that passenger as well. But the flight was smooth despite technical difficulties with the movies (or lack thereof) and excruciatingly small, hard seats.

May 3: Arrival in London Gatwick at 7:00 am. My friend's husband met us at the Arrivals Gate (bless him) and whisked us out of there so fast that we barely could keep up.... and then took us on an educational journey back to their house. I call it educational because the information was coming to us very fast about how good driving is accomplished on the crazy left-side parkways and down insanely narrow country lanes!!!! We made it safe and sound thanks to his stellar driving talents and I immediately realized I had been awake FOREVER. I wish I was a more alert guest, but I wasn't and a nap HAD to be had. My sister has better sleep-stamina than me, and went out for a quick tour of their village while I power-napped for 1/2 hour or so. And now for the shortened summary.... that afternoon we all went to see Waddesdon Manor, but we were too late to go inside. STUNNING!

May 4: Commuted into London Marylebone Station with the friend's husband (train fare is EXPENSIVE during peak hours). We had the heavy English Breakfast to get us going, then wandered around and stumbled across the Millennium bridge, found the London eye, Big Ben and Westminster Abbey (which we paid to go in) AMAZING! Weather was Then we found our way to the Museum of Natural History too. We had my friend order a take-away curry feast (I heard British version of Indian food was pretty darned good) and it was yummy!

May 5: Commuted to London again. We started by booking our next day's organized tour bus trip. This day our primary goal was to see the Tower of London, so we hopped on and off of buses including the iconic, red, double deckers, and found ourselves at St Paul's cathedral... no time to stop there though, we pressed on to London Bridge, and down the waterfront towards Tower Bridge and the Tower of London. For the record it is NOT a tower. It is instead a heavily fortified series of walls, towers and buildings built from the time of William the Conqueror to present day, and it was well-worth the price of admission! We had an exceptionally good lunch there and enjoyed gawking at the crown jewels, the exhibits and the brightly dressed Yeomen.

May 6: Went into to London quite early to catch the tour from Victoria Station to Windsor Castle, Bath and Stonehenge. The weather was chilly again, and the tour was a bit fast paced! Only 1.5 hours in Windsor Castle, 1.5 hours in the Roman Baths and 45 minutes at Stonehenge. The rest of the time was listening to the WONDERFUL commentary by our guide and marvelling at how a bus that big could go down some of the streets! We got back late that night, but still had time for some take-away Fish & Chips at my friend's house. Mmmm, Mmmm good.

May 7: Yet another super-early start so we could go to Paris. It was very sad to leave my friend's family after such a short time, they were really wonderful and the actual vi sitting time was very short. We made our way to London City Airport (small and efficient) to catch a tiny prop-jet to Orly Airport (Paris). Our first impression of Paris was much dirtier and seedier than London. But we found our lovely hotel, checked into our really very good room, and took to the town to find the Eiffel Tower! Long story short, it's REALLY TALL! And "escalator" is French for "stairs" so if you are going, please pay attention to which line-up you are waiting in, or you may end up paying to climb over 300 feet straight up's worth of stairs -- we were feeling the burn! We then got in line for the elevator to the top (elevator in French is an elevator, thank heavens). In a word "WOW", what a view! We found a tiny hole-in-the-wall restaurant with a Rick Steeve's endorsement, and it was tasty.

May 8th: Focused on finding some Paris atmosphere.. so we wandered around looking for the "perfect" cafe. And as we strolled down a wisteria bush lined street with gorgeous cars, gorgeous buildings, gorgeous little shops and gorgeous people we found exactly what we were looking for and sat down on a street side table watching the beautiful people of the world go by as we leisurely ate our lunch and sipped our coffee for a very long time. Then we shopped, went back to our hotel and prepared for a late dinner out. We went to the River Seine and were looking for a specific ancient Restaurant, it started pouring rain! Instead we found a tiny alleyway packed with every ethnicity of food you could imagine (all with a French presentation and style). The one that called to me the loudest had a rotisserie out front..... several layers of different meats slowly rotating on a beautiful machine. The suckling pig being the celebrated centerpiece. Oh ya, I wanted me soma that! They were energetic, friendly and the atmosphere was really awesome with heavy beams, stone walls, and a medieval sort of feel to it. No regrets with my impulse choice (and the pig was yummy). Afterwards we wandered across the river to Notredamme, and it was DARK inside and truly awe-inspiring. I have to confess, I cried a little bit I was so overcome with it. We decided to hike the bell tower (more stairs) and it was amazing too! Gargoyles spitting the rain over the edge, the incredible view of Eiffel all lit up!

May 9th: We literally RAN to catch the expensive (but efficient) shuttle to Charles de Gaulle Airport. The terminal we left from was bright, new and absolutely MONSTROUS in scale. And the short flight to Heathrow London had us making the excruciatingly long passage to my cousin's house in St Agnes, Cornwall, England. Ugh. Underground, transfer, Train, Bus. It was good to see her tiny ancient person at the station waiting for us. And she made us feel welcome in her way. It's not easy staying with an octogenarian with a bad heart and bum hip while vacationing... I'll have to admit that. But she tried.

May 10: We went to see my cousin's little village and it was sweet and charming. We had a real Cornish Pasty (mmmm), and some excellent tea. Then spent the day touring the Cathedral town of Truro with some shopping and visiting.

May 11: We went to the Eden Project. Unfortunately the weather was very chilly and wet, and the buses were nightmarishly slow and awkward. But we went and we saw the amazing Biome domes! Amazing what they have accomplished there the photos don't really convey the SCALE of the thing at all. Then we had dinner at an ancient pub that has been around since King Henry VIII's day, complete with a "snug" and secret passages for hiding persecuted priests.

May 12: The long, boring journey back to London -and ultimately- Gatwick. Bus from my relative's to a nasty train ride (my luggage completey fell apart at this point), followed by another nasty train ride that seemed to go on for eternity! We laughed that it took longer to get from Cornwall to Gatwick than it did from Vancouver to London! Ugh. BUT, we did make it and the amazing folks at Trumbles B&B picked us up with a smile. The place is CHARMING, and the staff really the best, and our room was bright and huge with a great view of the rolling meadows. We took a stroll into Charlwood Village and saw a church erected in 1080, wandered the cemetery and saw a 900 year old tree. Then we ate at a really perfect pub called the Half Moon and it was great. Wandering back up to the B&B (with torches because there are no street lights) we had a nice last night in the UK.

May 13: Crazy-early start with a nice breakfast plate and GOOD coffee, and the friendly Trumbles staff took us to the airport to get our flight back home. Gatwick was not the easiest to navigate and the line ups were one after the other, but really it was an ends to a means. I checked my hog-tied luggage with some trepidation, I was sure it would fall apart again in transport despite my attempts to bind it. It was one heck of a long flight home (1.5 hours longer than coming over because of the head winds) but we did see the plume from Iceland's Eyjafjallajokul volcano as we flew nearby... doesn't look like much trouble from that angle. We got to YVR in lots of time to go through customs and get our luggage (mine stayed together!) and caught a cab to our float plane with time to have lunch before the flight. And when we splashed down for our landing, I saw my husband waiting to greet us! Oh I was so happy to see him! And after school, the kids! T tried to make me a nice home-cooked meal of spagetti with Boulignaise sauce, but I fell asleep before it was ready (I had it for breakfast the next morning).

That vacation was exhausting! Home sweet home.