I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone:
1) Let my step-dad (semi-retired handyman) build a Christmas present for the family AND 2) get a long-time project tackled for this house... namely the unfinished hole of a laundryroom.
A little bit sneaky in retrospect, I wanted to surprise my darling, hard working husband with the initiative.
BIG MISTAKE
It never really occured to me that he would be upset about having two walls drywalled while he was at work. It never occurred to me that after 12 years of us talking about it, that he didn't feel that we really had decided what that room was going to function like as a finished space (I genuinely thought we had discussed the topic into submission!). I had drawn up several plans years ago... and THOUGHT we had agreed on something a long time ago.
Well he came home yesterday from a very bad day at work, will brutal heartburn, to find the house turned upside down and his family missing (we had an appointment to get portraits of the kids that I couldn't miss). He took it the wrong way (the room progress) and then took it out on me when I called to say where we were.... it took me off-guard... COMPLETELY off-guard.
I was speechless.
When he finished his rant... I simpered "I thought it would be a nice surprise" and "Grandpa wanted to do it for us as a gift"
He apologized immediately.
It was bad timing in his day. He never does do well with change, so maybe I should have been a little more sensitive about springing it on him. But I really didn't see that coming... nope, not at all.
By the end of the evening, I conceded to seeing his perspective about not being consulted, and he thanked me for wanting to do something so helpful, we hugged, kissed and made up. And I am continuing to work on the room today.... now that we are both on the same page again.
After 17 years of marriage, there can still be surprises - who knew?
11.30.2011
11.17.2011
Attitude Gratitude
Well, isn't it a lovely day?
(Sure it's raining and blowing, but that's not what's important)
Since I last wrote, I feel so much better. I am confident that it's not the end of my financial world, and I am at peace with my clutter/belongings for the moment as well. Sill more clutter than I want, but it's not urgently bugging me like it was a little while ago. I'm certainly not wanting to go out on a shopping spree any time soon, but the panic has subsided for now..... approaching peace.
The kids are bleeding me dry with their needs and wants (financially and temporally) but I am so happy that they are healthy and loving boys! Glasses, dental, winter boots, growth spurts, bottomless appetites, school issues, friend issues, Christmas build up.... oh ya baby, parenting is a full time job right now. Somehow, thanks to my confidence shift that I had last week it's not causing pain, it's causing gratitude that I can deal with these things as they come.
Sure for a moment I can feel overwhelmed, angry at the seeming futility of my efforts, but it passes quickly and I can resume my quest for growth, peace and gratitude. It's small stuff.
My home is intact.
My country is at peace.
My government is freely democratic.
My friends are attentive.
My husband is supportive.
My kids are good.
My belly is full.
I have education, freedom, safety, sight, health, hope!
Really, anything else is nothing in comparison.
Here I am happy to be here right now. Thank you for joining me.
(Sure it's raining and blowing, but that's not what's important)
Since I last wrote, I feel so much better. I am confident that it's not the end of my financial world, and I am at peace with my clutter/belongings for the moment as well. Sill more clutter than I want, but it's not urgently bugging me like it was a little while ago. I'm certainly not wanting to go out on a shopping spree any time soon, but the panic has subsided for now..... approaching peace.
The kids are bleeding me dry with their needs and wants (financially and temporally) but I am so happy that they are healthy and loving boys! Glasses, dental, winter boots, growth spurts, bottomless appetites, school issues, friend issues, Christmas build up.... oh ya baby, parenting is a full time job right now. Somehow, thanks to my confidence shift that I had last week it's not causing pain, it's causing gratitude that I can deal with these things as they come.
Sure for a moment I can feel overwhelmed, angry at the seeming futility of my efforts, but it passes quickly and I can resume my quest for growth, peace and gratitude. It's small stuff.
My home is intact.
My country is at peace.
My government is freely democratic.
My friends are attentive.
My husband is supportive.
My kids are good.
My belly is full.
I have education, freedom, safety, sight, health, hope!
Really, anything else is nothing in comparison.
Here I am happy to be here right now. Thank you for joining me.
11.03.2011
THI$ MEAN$ WAR
Financially we are still pinched... though the checks have started coming in from my mad torrent of jobs. :) It has eased my panic considerably, but I'm not out of the woods by any stretch.
I was laying in bed staring at the darkness the other night PANICKING about the money and the dark future. Wide-eyed horror about it (very unlike me) -- then I remembered -- I have the tools for success right here. I know how to make a budget (start with get Gail's budget Worksheet online) and implement it.
AND I am by nature a fairly frugal gal... I just need to ramp it up a notch. AND most valuable of all.... I believe in myself, my country, and my power to succeed if I only put my mind to it. I have forgotten that part, completely forgotten that I have the POWER to make my own future (with determination passion and the ability to open my mind to opportunities)! Of course the budget and the willingness to be frugal make all the positive thinking have genuine weight.
ENERGY FLOWS WHERE ATTENTION GOES
Focusing on the being broke is BAD. Focusing on the getting back to comfortable is GOOD
Some things are already coming together... upcoming gift-holiday headway....The secret Santa idea had mixed responses but in the end the "Yeahs" have it, so we are doing it!!!! WOOHOO! And I have enforced a $20-each limit to the niece's and nephew's presents (5 in all) if I am very careful and think hard about what I am getting, it shouldn't be too difficult. (After all they'll be getting loads of stuff, right?)
AND I have a brilliant plan for my step-dad's gift and my sister's gift....no hints here.... I don't want to spoil it.
ENERGY FLOWS WHERE ATTENTION GOES
My energy will be flowing towards gratitude for my blessings. I am blessed like crazy!
The money is a hiccup that will be conquered efficiently.
I was laying in bed staring at the darkness the other night PANICKING about the money and the dark future. Wide-eyed horror about it (very unlike me) -- then I remembered -- I have the tools for success right here. I know how to make a budget (start with get Gail's budget Worksheet online) and implement it.
AND I am by nature a fairly frugal gal... I just need to ramp it up a notch. AND most valuable of all.... I believe in myself, my country, and my power to succeed if I only put my mind to it. I have forgotten that part, completely forgotten that I have the POWER to make my own future (with determination passion and the ability to open my mind to opportunities)! Of course the budget and the willingness to be frugal make all the positive thinking have genuine weight.
ENERGY FLOWS WHERE ATTENTION GOES
Focusing on the being broke is BAD. Focusing on the getting back to comfortable is GOOD
Some things are already coming together... upcoming gift-holiday headway....The secret Santa idea had mixed responses but in the end the "Yeahs" have it, so we are doing it!!!! WOOHOO! And I have enforced a $20-each limit to the niece's and nephew's presents (5 in all) if I am very careful and think hard about what I am getting, it shouldn't be too difficult. (After all they'll be getting loads of stuff, right?)
AND I have a brilliant plan for my step-dad's gift and my sister's gift....no hints here.... I don't want to spoil it.
ENERGY FLOWS WHERE ATTENTION GOES
My energy will be flowing towards gratitude for my blessings. I am blessed like crazy!
The money is a hiccup that will be conquered efficiently.
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