Peace on Earth, and all the very best to you for this magical day of the year!!!!
Merry Christmas!
12.25.2007
12.17.2007
To Sleep, Perchance to Dream
I have always placed a high value on sleep. Apparently as a babe, my mom needed to wake me to feed me, I loved sleeping so much! As a teen even I would rather sleep than wander the neighbourhood after dark with my dearest friends -- much to their frustration. Not only was I afraid to get caught out of bed, and aware that I am very cranky without the full quota of zzzz's, but I was also worried that I might miss something in dreamland. I was blessed with a good waking memory of my dreams and even some lucid dreaming (though not consistently).
Up until adulthood I very very very rarely dreamt I was myself, I could be anyone at any time or even anything (Ever dreamt you were the wind?). Unlike watching TV, these were experiences on a full 5- senses level! I love dreaming smells and textures.
I am getting off topic here though, I really wanted to write about two particular dreams.....
The first one isn't mine. My dad once told me about a dream that changed his life forever. In it he was at a club, and there was a raised floor in the middle of it that had very serious adults. From his perspective they were stuffy and boring, he was on the lower level dancing, drinking and whooping it up with friends and laughing at the people on the higher level. THEN something changed and he saw the other people as what they were, mature, successful adults, with plans and achievements and full lives and suddenly he wasn't satisfied with being on the lower level as an immature partier with no future and no responsibilities. He wanted to step up onto the platform. As he approached it, someone that he had jeered at earlier smiled at him and said he was finally ready and welcomed him up.
Dad told me the the dream because it had changed him so profoundly -- literally overnight! And at that point he really did take control of his life and his business. He went from being a job-to-job labourer to a respected general contractor and built up a modest empire of well built, custom and spec homes before he died only a few years later.
I saw the results of recognizing a dream's potential first hand!
Of course I am not saying ALL dreams carry this much influence with me, but you know some dreams just feel more powerful and stay longer with you...
Just this morning, I remembered one that I had a long time ago.
Before my dad got sick I had a dream that scared me so bad, right to the core I was worried about what it might mean. I had to tell dad, because it was about him. The dream happened about 20 years ago so the details are fuzzy, but the message was painfully clear -- in hindsight.
I was sitting under a tree watching my dad and stepmom playing tennis. They were smacking it back and forth and a young lovely woman wanted to play, she asked to play dad next -- Dot's reaction was toxic! And Dot's game got aggressive, I was alarmed at Dot's anger, even though my dad was kind to the lady but obviously not interested in leaving his game with Dot. Sitting in the dappled sunlight of the tree at my back, I noticed there was a tree behind dad and one behind Dot. Dot's tree was twisted and tall and (if I remember the dream correctly) had more than one top like it had been broken and kept growing. Interesting, kind of scary tree.... then I looked over at dad's and was horrified to see that it was lush and healthy at the bottom, but bare and dead at the top third! I panicked! I wanted dad to look at his tree, but he wouldn't look, he was too focused on his game. I had the terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that the longer he played the game, then the more unhealthy his tree would be, but he wouldn't stop and he didn't seem concerned at all! With a wave of dread, I tried to look at the top of MY tree. I was standing at the bottom and no matter how I tried I couldn't see past the bottom-most branches lush with green and sunshine. I ran around the tree looking up, but I could not see how tall my tree was.
Then I woke up.
I told dad about the dream. It disturbed me so much and I thought maybe the young woman was important. I told dad how worried I was about the game. He brushed me off and I am not sure if he heard me at all.
It wasn't too long after that that the cancer came back to kill him. Dot fought hard to be the martyr of a dutiful wife and would not let anyone else care for him (though she desperately needed the break and he desperately needed a calm, rested, attentive caregiver). I was too young to know that I needed to advocate harder for his care, but really I know she would not have let me anyways. I feel most sorry for my sister whom Dot kept away from my sick dad. I don't even know if dad knew how many times Sharon TRIED to come see him only to be sent away by Dot (because "one teenage girl sapping his strength was bad enough" That is a quote. Nice, eh?).
Dreams are important to me. I don't remember as many as I used to, and they seem to evaporate almost immediately when I wake up these days.... it makes me sad, like I am losing something very important. Sleep has become almost mundane, another chore that has to be done --- I still NEED the full night's sleep to function, but without the dreams, it's just sleep.
12.13.2007
And life goes on.
Cammy is sick, just a cold, but the coughing, hacking and endless snot is coming at a bad time. I have deadlines, and appointments this week. I have Christmas shopping to do and the puppy demands a whole lot of attention these days too.
It's a bummer, but we do what we can, right...
AND why is it my internet working, but not my email?
At least the puppy is sleeping longer.
It's a bummer, but we do what we can, right...
AND why is it my internet working, but not my email?
At least the puppy is sleeping longer.
12.10.2007
I need sleep.
How can anyone be angry at that cute little fuzzy face?
No me! Even at 1:30am, 2:30am, 4 am and 6 am cleaning up wee puddles (and more -- ugh) and having my nose used as a chew toy when I am trying to get back to sleep, he is SO CUTE.
No me! Even at 1:30am, 2:30am, 4 am and 6 am cleaning up wee puddles (and more -- ugh) and having my nose used as a chew toy when I am trying to get back to sleep, he is SO CUTE.
Obviously I slept down by his crate last night as his first night away from his littermates.
He is nocturnal -- I am not.
He sleeps very often, just not very long, (like a baby) and when he wakes he pees, chews and bounces around.
oh boy, it is going to be interesting. ..... So sleepy.
12.06.2007
I am so proud
My son had to write a story for school, I think it turned out very exciting.......
The Future
by Steve , age 10
It is the year 3000 AD and the human race is almost extinct.
The War started when man went to Mars, and the Martians struck back. It turns out they tampered with our early rovers so we thought it was clear. They declared war as soon as we set foot on Martian soil in the year 2030, no explanation was ever given. Now centuries later the war is almost won – by the Martians.
The entire human race relies on us 3 intergalactic warriors; me (Steve), a skilled engineer and ace pilot; Ricky, a top-gunner; and Charlie, a gifted translator. We are searching the galaxy looking for allies, and on our journey we have met many foes.
Charlie lifts his head from the console. He has been napping on his watch when he was awoke by a new sound. “I hear something!”
Ricky and I wake up, ready for action. I run to take control of the ship and then look at the gauges, they are all down. “Something has cut our power – Ricky, check the main gun, Charlie, try and translate that noise while I try to get the power back! There is a whole alien fighter squad outside our window and we’ve been hit in the main generator.”
“These aren’t Martian ships neither” says Ricky.
“Get the power up so I can try to talk to them!” calls Charlie.
The ship shudders as the alien’s craft latches to ours. Then we start to move.
“I wonder where they are taking us?” I say to the men. Soon it was obvious we are being taken to an uncharted planet about 120 lightyears from home. The alien ships are dragging us at amazing light-warp speed.
When we stop, Charlie looks closely at the ship towing us, trying to figure out what the numerals on the side of the ship are. “Hey! That’s Martian writing, but those aren’t Martian ships!”
“How can that be? No way any Martian ship I have ever seen could get way out here, they just don’t have that technology!” I argue.
Ricky adds, “Some THING is fixing our generator and it sure looks like a Martian to me!”
“We got full power back -- Charlie start communicating, we need answers.” I order.
“On it.” Charlie replies “ They are definitely speaking a Martian dialect…” a look of concentration on his face.
Ricky says, “I hate to say this, but let’s wait to see what they will do with us, they must be friendly or else why would they fix our generator?” He lets his thumbs slide over the main gun triggers as he talks.
Charlie explains what he has learned, “They got our signal for help from Earth, they have been looking for our ship, the generator failure was an accidental overload from their communication beam, so they dragged us back here to fix it.”
Charlie yells, “You aren’t going to believe this! It seems Mars is kid of like ancient Australia was to our old Britain, a big penal colony! They are a bunch of desperate criminals we have been fighting!”
“No wonder they decided to attack us instead of leaving us alone” Ricky sighs heavily.
“These aliens want to help us! They want to help Earth! They are going to catch and imprison the criminals before the Martians can use Earth’s resources to build a new fleet to attack these friendly aliens that are towing us.” Charlie’s huge smile gives me the most hope that I have had in my whole life.
“Do you know what this means?” says Ricky quietly. He is staring at the alien ship.
“Yes,” I let myself grin, “WE DID IT!” We found a way to save our planet from losing this war!”
---- the end ---
by Steve , age 10
It is the year 3000 AD and the human race is almost extinct.
The War started when man went to Mars, and the Martians struck back. It turns out they tampered with our early rovers so we thought it was clear. They declared war as soon as we set foot on Martian soil in the year 2030, no explanation was ever given. Now centuries later the war is almost won – by the Martians.
The entire human race relies on us 3 intergalactic warriors; me (Steve), a skilled engineer and ace pilot; Ricky, a top-gunner; and Charlie, a gifted translator. We are searching the galaxy looking for allies, and on our journey we have met many foes.
Charlie lifts his head from the console. He has been napping on his watch when he was awoke by a new sound. “I hear something!”
Ricky and I wake up, ready for action. I run to take control of the ship and then look at the gauges, they are all down. “Something has cut our power – Ricky, check the main gun, Charlie, try and translate that noise while I try to get the power back! There is a whole alien fighter squad outside our window and we’ve been hit in the main generator.”
“These aren’t Martian ships neither” says Ricky.
“Get the power up so I can try to talk to them!” calls Charlie.
The ship shudders as the alien’s craft latches to ours. Then we start to move.
“I wonder where they are taking us?” I say to the men. Soon it was obvious we are being taken to an uncharted planet about 120 lightyears from home. The alien ships are dragging us at amazing light-warp speed.
When we stop, Charlie looks closely at the ship towing us, trying to figure out what the numerals on the side of the ship are. “Hey! That’s Martian writing, but those aren’t Martian ships!”
“How can that be? No way any Martian ship I have ever seen could get way out here, they just don’t have that technology!” I argue.
Ricky adds, “Some THING is fixing our generator and it sure looks like a Martian to me!”
“We got full power back -- Charlie start communicating, we need answers.” I order.
“On it.” Charlie replies “ They are definitely speaking a Martian dialect…” a look of concentration on his face.
Ricky says, “I hate to say this, but let’s wait to see what they will do with us, they must be friendly or else why would they fix our generator?” He lets his thumbs slide over the main gun triggers as he talks.
Charlie explains what he has learned, “They got our signal for help from Earth, they have been looking for our ship, the generator failure was an accidental overload from their communication beam, so they dragged us back here to fix it.”
Charlie yells, “You aren’t going to believe this! It seems Mars is kid of like ancient Australia was to our old Britain, a big penal colony! They are a bunch of desperate criminals we have been fighting!”
“No wonder they decided to attack us instead of leaving us alone” Ricky sighs heavily.
“These aliens want to help us! They want to help Earth! They are going to catch and imprison the criminals before the Martians can use Earth’s resources to build a new fleet to attack these friendly aliens that are towing us.” Charlie’s huge smile gives me the most hope that I have had in my whole life.
“Do you know what this means?” says Ricky quietly. He is staring at the alien ship.
“Yes,” I let myself grin, “WE DID IT!” We found a way to save our planet from losing this war!”
---- the end ---
He wanted to go on with the rescue, the battle and more, but it was supposed to be a 2 page story, so I had to stop him short. I am so proud!!!!!!!!!!
Spaceship Image from: http://www.apple.com/ca/games/articles/2005/05/x2thethreat/
12.04.2007
Snow Story
It was the first REAL snow of the season, and one for the memory books too. Nothing bad happened at all, the power even stayed on, but there was so MUCH of it!
Of course me (and the cat) were sensible enough to stay inside and enjoy the warmth of a modern home... except when I was dragged out on a field trip by the hubby. But I was kept amused in the car by letting the boys use the camera.
It meant a whole lot of shovelling and lots of coat and mitten rides in the dryer, I think everyone enjoyed it actually.... except maybe my roses (what's with the roses blooming in December anyways?)
Then as suddenly as it started, the great snowstorm finally stopped after dumping MORE that a foot onto us ( between 14 and 18 inches I beleive) And NOW the weather has gotten very wet and very warm. A balmy 12 degrees with loads of rain! The snow is melting rapidly after acting like a fog producing sponge.... between the melt and the rain, there is too much water and people are being flooded, roads are blocked off from water, and there is a "boil water" advisory because our city's drinking water is spoiled with run-off.
Ah well, the joys of a westcoast winter.
11.30.2007
11.25.2007
Could this be "MAX"?
The latest installment of the fourlegged saga.....
The guy who wanted the puppy has backed out. Now we get first dibs on the lone male again.... we will be seeing him tonight. And I HOPE it will be final one way or another!!!!!
Sheesh, this is one heck of a rollercoaster!
--------------------------------------------------------
PS..... we went and saw him.
It's Max alright!
The boys like him, T is on-board.
So now the games begin! Puppy preparations like finishing our fence, getting all the puppy gear, lining up shots, where will he sleep? Where will he poop? Where will we feed him? and all that good stuff.
11.23.2007
Peer Pressure and a rant
Okee Dokey,
I have succumbed to peer pressure, I have joined Faceb--k.
To me it is even creepier than being able to Google yourself, but I did it anyways. It is a fascinating idea finding long lost contacts over the cyber-wires, but maybe the past is better left in the past?
Time will tell whether I regret this or not.
-----------------------------------------------
Meanwhile life trudges on very normally.... My days are filled with the chores of running a household and being a parent....
... get up, shower, make the breakfasts, pack the lunches, chase down the school notices, check the kid's clothes, backpacks, etc., pack the kids off to school...
... then I either go back home and start the computers to get going on my endless to-do-list OR keep going past the school to do banking, grocery shopping (or for a treat head, to the gym!)...
... whether I am at home or out running the errands there is always laundry: either in mountains waiting to be washed, or mountains waiting to be put away (or both!)... 4 people generate an amazing amount of laundry, I can never catch up...
... dishwasher to load, or unload. Meals to plan and prepare, sweeping, toy round up, a bed or two to change...
...oh and the bathrooms, boys are terrible terrible disasters in the bathroom! There is the urine that is everywhere within a 2 foot radius of the bowl (that is a conservative estimate) and the toothpaste spatter that is sprayed at an alarming distance making our sink look like a pigeon roost.... twice a day the main bathroom needs a thorough wipedown... (I am lucky to get to it once a day. So if you come visit you need to accept it the way it is)...
... oh and there are the other maintenance chores that I never seem to have time for. De-cluttering, deep cleaning, wiping the cupboards down and organizing the dumping grounds that we call the laundryroom...
..... all to quickly then it is time to go get the boys from school (Cam is too young to walk home yet)... so I fight for a space amoung all the other nice parents and wait for them to gather their things, argue about whether they can have a playdate, load them up and back home we come...
... Steve always has homework and as you well know that is usually an ordeal, Cam is making too much noise for Steve to concentrate and we all end up upset to one degree or another...
... I always still have lots of work to do when the kids get home... so I get back on the computer or the phone (shushing the noisy blighters constantly)... and next thing I know it is time to start dinner!...
.... 9 times out of 10 the kitchen is still a mess from breakfast, and T comes home and tries to clean it while I am cooking...
... dinner happens, clean up happens, some wind down time happens and then the get-ready-for-bed time takes up a good hour. PJs, brush the teeth, read the stories, tuck them in and kisses, drink of water? warm magic bag? more kisses? the requests drag it out long enough for me to miss any show I felt like watching that evening.
... very shortly after that T goes to bed (he has to get up very early for work). And I usually go to bed too, I don't want to wake him by going to bed later... at least I usually get lots of sleep that way, even if it is broken up by the kids having nightmare/growing pains sometimes....
... it's a busy life, full of the same stuff over and over and over again...
It seems I never have time to actually PLAY or do activities with the boys. I do feel bad about that as they ask me everyday. T helps out TONNES with the housework and even cooks the occasional dinner even after working his 10 hour days (bless him for that!)
If I could focus soley on running the household, I may be able to catch up and keep on top of it all.... but alas, we need my work-at-home income. Ever month I check our bank statements, I see more going out than coming in. So I sit here working on my computers for a good portion of the day making some billable hours so I can invoice, so I can contribute to the bottom line every month.
HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT? I mean is it this hard for everyone? (I know for some it is even harder! One of me dearest friends from college struggles every day within pennies of a nervous breakdown, and another dear ex-co-worker friend has the most stressful husband and nerve wracking schedule that nearly kills her daily -- she feels as if she is losing her mind under all the mental clutter and commitments in her life). It could be worse, and this is the life I have made for myself. It is a content existence.
BUT, I see families taking their little ones to hockey and soccer and swimming in their new cars by the stay-home moms. And I think, "HOW?" How do they have the time? How do they have the money? How can they organize these things in when there are all the other things too? These people have the same bills (or even more with a car payment). These people have the same number of hours in the day!
That reminds me, there is wet laundry in the washer, and I need to thaw something for dinner... there are client's emails that need responding too today and I promised Steve he could have a friend over after school.
I guess I should stop typing here and get to it!!!!
I have succumbed to peer pressure, I have joined Faceb--k.
To me it is even creepier than being able to Google yourself, but I did it anyways. It is a fascinating idea finding long lost contacts over the cyber-wires, but maybe the past is better left in the past?
Time will tell whether I regret this or not.
-----------------------------------------------
Meanwhile life trudges on very normally.... My days are filled with the chores of running a household and being a parent....
... get up, shower, make the breakfasts, pack the lunches, chase down the school notices, check the kid's clothes, backpacks, etc., pack the kids off to school...
... then I either go back home and start the computers to get going on my endless to-do-list OR keep going past the school to do banking, grocery shopping (or for a treat head, to the gym!)...
... whether I am at home or out running the errands there is always laundry: either in mountains waiting to be washed, or mountains waiting to be put away (or both!)... 4 people generate an amazing amount of laundry, I can never catch up...
... dishwasher to load, or unload. Meals to plan and prepare, sweeping, toy round up, a bed or two to change...
...oh and the bathrooms, boys are terrible terrible disasters in the bathroom! There is the urine that is everywhere within a 2 foot radius of the bowl (that is a conservative estimate) and the toothpaste spatter that is sprayed at an alarming distance making our sink look like a pigeon roost.... twice a day the main bathroom needs a thorough wipedown... (I am lucky to get to it once a day. So if you come visit you need to accept it the way it is)...
... oh and there are the other maintenance chores that I never seem to have time for. De-cluttering, deep cleaning, wiping the cupboards down and organizing the dumping grounds that we call the laundryroom...
..... all to quickly then it is time to go get the boys from school (Cam is too young to walk home yet)... so I fight for a space amoung all the other nice parents and wait for them to gather their things, argue about whether they can have a playdate, load them up and back home we come...
... Steve always has homework and as you well know that is usually an ordeal, Cam is making too much noise for Steve to concentrate and we all end up upset to one degree or another...
... I always still have lots of work to do when the kids get home... so I get back on the computer or the phone (shushing the noisy blighters constantly)... and next thing I know it is time to start dinner!...
.... 9 times out of 10 the kitchen is still a mess from breakfast, and T comes home and tries to clean it while I am cooking...
... dinner happens, clean up happens, some wind down time happens and then the get-ready-for-bed time takes up a good hour. PJs, brush the teeth, read the stories, tuck them in and kisses, drink of water? warm magic bag? more kisses? the requests drag it out long enough for me to miss any show I felt like watching that evening.
... very shortly after that T goes to bed (he has to get up very early for work). And I usually go to bed too, I don't want to wake him by going to bed later... at least I usually get lots of sleep that way, even if it is broken up by the kids having nightmare/growing pains sometimes....
... it's a busy life, full of the same stuff over and over and over again...
It seems I never have time to actually PLAY or do activities with the boys. I do feel bad about that as they ask me everyday. T helps out TONNES with the housework and even cooks the occasional dinner even after working his 10 hour days (bless him for that!)
If I could focus soley on running the household, I may be able to catch up and keep on top of it all.... but alas, we need my work-at-home income. Ever month I check our bank statements, I see more going out than coming in. So I sit here working on my computers for a good portion of the day making some billable hours so I can invoice, so I can contribute to the bottom line every month.
HOW DO PEOPLE DO IT? I mean is it this hard for everyone? (I know for some it is even harder! One of me dearest friends from college struggles every day within pennies of a nervous breakdown, and another dear ex-co-worker friend has the most stressful husband and nerve wracking schedule that nearly kills her daily -- she feels as if she is losing her mind under all the mental clutter and commitments in her life). It could be worse, and this is the life I have made for myself. It is a content existence.
BUT, I see families taking their little ones to hockey and soccer and swimming in their new cars by the stay-home moms. And I think, "HOW?" How do they have the time? How do they have the money? How can they organize these things in when there are all the other things too? These people have the same bills (or even more with a car payment). These people have the same number of hours in the day!
That reminds me, there is wet laundry in the washer, and I need to thaw something for dinner... there are client's emails that need responding too today and I promised Steve he could have a friend over after school.
I guess I should stop typing here and get to it!!!!
11.19.2007
late halloween update
I need to post the pictures of the boys' costumes!
Spooky doorway...... and only a handful of kids saw it!
Cammy is El Diablo! Steve is a Dementor! (or ghoul if you don't read Harry Potter)
And then there was the witch that was handing out the candy......
11.16.2007
No puppy for us.
We got the call, on the eve of when we were supposed to go see him again.
They gave the puppy to someone else... the owner of the daddy dog.
I guess they said he could have his choice of the litter (stud fee) and so we got bumped off the list.
Ah well, easy come easy go.
(I confess I am sad)
They gave the puppy to someone else... the owner of the daddy dog.
I guess they said he could have his choice of the litter (stud fee) and so we got bumped off the list.
Ah well, easy come easy go.
(I confess I am sad)
11.10.2007
Am I a dog person?
Well, am I?
I love dogs, their floppy, happy personalities... The steadfast loyalty and energetic desire to please.
However, my heart was broken by Dingo and Odie was a terrible mistake. Odie in particular put a terrible strain on home life. The hair, noise and inconvenience of having a jerk dog was very very stressful. But even that sweet beasty named Dingo caused some strife with the endless hair, doggie doo and running off to raid everyone's food dishes that he would do.
So why am I considering going through it all again? And with a puppy no less?!
Stevie's friend has the SWEEEEEEETEST dog I have ever met. A gentler personality doesn't exist. I always assumed she was fixed, so I was surprised to find out she had had 5 pups! I called to congratulate the owners, and the lady said that she had a long list of families that were wanting Kita's pups I said that was wonderful and we had bad luck with dogs in the past and would love to find the RIGHT dog for our family.
She called me back a few hours later and said, "do you want a male puppy"?
I was dumbfounded.
Steve has been trying full-time to convince us that he is ready for the responsibility of a dog ever since. He is even not pushing too hard.... AND he said he would be willing to give up all his Christams presents this year in exchange for Kita's pup. He must REALLY want him.
He desperately misses Dingo, and I know he is ready. But I am not sure I am! Oh the agony of puppyhood! Our nice furniture, our new hardwood floors! Puddles on the floor, chew toys all over the house. Hair, footprints, doggie doo bags, leashes, training, shots, baths, nail trimming, mucky muddy mayhem (even more than what the boys do on their own!).............
Surprisingly T seems to be accepting the idea, so long as I am.
I was determined NOT to be the one to make the decision. So what if I am home with it all day, so what if the general condition of the house, come 5pm, is my responsibility, so what if I am the one that has to walk it in the morning, and train it and let it out at noon, buy the food, make the vet appointments etc..... Sure I will have the brunt of the work but all that doesn't worry me nearly so much as whether or not T will resent the furry animal for being a natural mess maker! It stressed him out so badly last time!
If it was up to just me, I wouldn't want to risk that bad situation again. I would be a coward and say "NO" to our sons simply because it's way easier to not take the chance. It's like when I was pregnant with Cam and terrified of post-partum depression again. I was so scared! But then it never happened..............
However, I loved having a dog as a kid. It's a best friend you can count on! A warm companion when your parents are being unfair, and excuse to hug when you aren't supposed to want to hug anymore. Someone to talk to that will never judge you, someone that will ALWAYS need you. And they are fun and cute too. Sharing the home with another species is a learning thing. Responsibility, patience, sympathy are all learned through pets .... but our cat fits that bill... and she does that acceptionally well as a lapwarmer too. So it's the companionship that will happen more than anything that only a dog does.
Am I insane to even think it just for Stevie's sake?
He can always grow up without a dog, and get one as a grown up! Kimber and Tai have done that! Is it the same?
Ah well, I have a couple more days to work it out, then I have to let the owners no one way or the other.
10.29.2007
Fun with Fall
The fireworks from the party..... this was the best shot. Not bad for a cheap digital camera!
That afternoon, at the park (my impulse field trip because the weather was so unseasonally fantastic!), I talked them into helping me pile LOTS of leaves at the bottom of the slide, and WHOOSH!
Like I said, the weather has been really wonderful..... I think maybe being shirt-less was a bit much, but they were running hard too!
10.27.2007
Weathering the week
I had another busy week. It was a good one though, much less hectic and a nice balance of work and play.
I will post some pictures tomorrow (T has the camera right now, otherwise they would be in here now). The weather is nothing to complain about, my favourite mix of warm, wet and windy fall storms and beautiful crisp and balmy days! We broke a record here on Tuesday, an unbelievable 20 degrees (that's warmer than I keep my house in the winter!) The previous record was 19 degrees set in the 60's so that was the warmest October 23 in anybody's lifetime anyways. And it was so clear and lovely! The air smelled natural, that unique blend of fallen maple leaves and greeeeeeeeen grass. I absolutely LOVE this time of year! I do remember snow on the ground one Halloween, I doubt it will happen theis year!
Speaking of Halloween, we went to a lovely party last night. One of Cammy's friends has acreage outside the city limits, every year they host a Halloween party complete with tractor rides down the Jack-O-Lattern lit paths in the forest, a really top-knotch haunted house (I cheated and went through with a flashlight -- scary enough that way!) Hot chocolate, hot dogs, a huge bonfire and a grand finale of fireworks lighting up the night..... cost of admission, just bring some foreworks to ad to the show if you can (and I had some that Dave left so it was great)! The boys had a really good time, even though we got there quite late and the missed the tractor ride.
This year fireworks are banned from my city and the neighbouring township, but the in-between space is immune to the by-law as of yet. I hope they stay safe and can keep it that way. Too much vandalism and other irresponsible use of them was happening, injuries, fires etc. So those few idiots ruined it for all the other responsible folks that want to entertain their kids and neighbours. I am going to miss the light show that went on at our street, it was a great time to get together and be a real neighbourhood!
It was fun (the party).
I will post the pics of our fall activities soon.
I will post some pictures tomorrow (T has the camera right now, otherwise they would be in here now). The weather is nothing to complain about, my favourite mix of warm, wet and windy fall storms and beautiful crisp and balmy days! We broke a record here on Tuesday, an unbelievable 20 degrees (that's warmer than I keep my house in the winter!) The previous record was 19 degrees set in the 60's so that was the warmest October 23 in anybody's lifetime anyways. And it was so clear and lovely! The air smelled natural, that unique blend of fallen maple leaves and greeeeeeeeen grass. I absolutely LOVE this time of year! I do remember snow on the ground one Halloween, I doubt it will happen theis year!
Speaking of Halloween, we went to a lovely party last night. One of Cammy's friends has acreage outside the city limits, every year they host a Halloween party complete with tractor rides down the Jack-O-Lattern lit paths in the forest, a really top-knotch haunted house (I cheated and went through with a flashlight -- scary enough that way!) Hot chocolate, hot dogs, a huge bonfire and a grand finale of fireworks lighting up the night..... cost of admission, just bring some foreworks to ad to the show if you can (and I had some that Dave left so it was great)! The boys had a really good time, even though we got there quite late and the missed the tractor ride.
This year fireworks are banned from my city and the neighbouring township, but the in-between space is immune to the by-law as of yet. I hope they stay safe and can keep it that way. Too much vandalism and other irresponsible use of them was happening, injuries, fires etc. So those few idiots ruined it for all the other responsible folks that want to entertain their kids and neighbours. I am going to miss the light show that went on at our street, it was a great time to get together and be a real neighbourhood!
It was fun (the party).
I will post the pics of our fall activities soon.
10.19.2007
Oh the joys of having BEEN somewhere!
I so get it now!
My eyes used to glaze over when my friends would talk about the places they have been and the tings they have seen. I was happy for them, but I just couldn't relate.
NOW, I see the places I have been everywhere!
I was at my local thrift store.... looking at jigsaw puzzles (for some reason I wanted a puzzle for the first time in my life) but I wasn't feeling inspired by the selection UNTIL I saw the one of St Marco's in Venice! Oh YES! for 99 cents I have 1000 pieces of truly gorgeous architecture that I have seen with my own 2 eyes, it's like being there all over again as I put together the bronze horses, the marble saints, the pillars and mind-numbingly-detailed gold mosaics.
And today I opened my bank statement.... the usual junk mail came with it, but this time I stopped and stared! The travel insurance flyer had a couple holding a map..... and in the background, somewhere I have stood. Oh yes, it too was Venice. I scrounged my photos and found the exact place that this idyllic lifestyle flyer's image was shot. I had shot it too. The details are undeniable, and I was there. Sigh.....
Then there was another vacation flyer I got, the happy family was stepping out onto their balcony, and I could have SWORN it was the same place we stayed at in Stresa (the railing was different though).
My poor family, they think I have lost it.
It's the other way around, I have found it, and I love it!
10.16.2007
tidbits of life this week
Imagine a chicken with it's head cut off..... flapping, running amock all over the yard, maybe even up a tree before finally stopping the gruesome dance to collapse lifeless on the ground.
Now imagine me, sitting at my computer to jump up to scan, jump up to switch computers, answer the phone, collect faxes, sort through tall, leaning piles of ad submissions and typed out instructions, checking emails, replying, answering calls..... I am a designer with my head cut off right now. (Just insert fowl imagery) AND don't forget the regular tasks, running the kids to school, getting milk, putting out the trash, laundry, packing lunches, task-mastering the homework, planning and making 3 meals a day and all the other nuisances of being the primary caregiver. I am run ragged this week, and I am even making insane clucking noises as I go (though I guess a HEADLESS chicken doesn't do that).
Good news is I think I will get the 36 page thing out on time ---- IF ---- the last 3 ads come in and ---- IF ---- nobody comes up with terrible changes to the layout and/or copy and ---- IF ---- I don't run off up a tree and hide. (Or fall to the ground dead of course)
So WHY am I doing it? For money of course! Not gobbs of it, but believe me every little bit helps. I recently reviewed our budget and found that we can NOT live on just T's income with our present needs. It's not desperate by any means, but it is an uncomfortable realization to be sure. We really want to replace our rusting vehicles in the next 2 or 3 years.... that will take cash (we aren't comfortable taking out car loans) and the truck needs tires NOW, and all that other maintainence crap that happens with houses and cars and kids.
That's Life.
OH! By the way..... I am going to be giving the fancy new mattress to my sister for her daughter's big-girl bed when she is ready to take it. I am trading it for a dresser of hers that I like for Cammy. I talked about it with mom, and she's fine with it. I explained how Steve is whining bitterly about not liking springs, and that my sister wants at get a bed for her littlest, so mom thought that was good that I found a good use for it (after all that is her Grandaughter too). Steve is happy, Sister is happy and I am happy so we are all goo (I think)
AND we attended the parent-teacher interviews yesterday. I am happy to report the boys are doing fine. Cammy is fitting in and attentive in Grade 1 showing a bit of immaturity to printing and reading that is very normal for boys vs girls. Stevie is doing the best he can and holding a good attitude with lots to contribute to the class in Grade 5. I think they both have very good teachers, I am so proud of my little boys!
10.10.2007
what to do about MOM
My mom says.... "Steve has had his foam mattress for 6 years, he needs a new one with proper springs".
I say, "Mom, his bed is 4 1/2 feet off the floor, he does NOT need it to be springy, and untill he stays dry every night, I don't want a new mattress to get peed on, he loves his foam mattress anyways."
Mom replies, "Those are good points.... I guess"
2 weeks later mom sends me an email that she has purchased a top of the line kids mattress for Steve and it can be picked up at the store on October 2nd. Sure enough the store calls and says its ready for pick up.
AAAAARGH!
So I prepare for the mattress, I "lower" Steve's bed (read: chop the legs down)
When Steve got home he cried for hours how I ruined his whole room.
THEN we installed the mattress. And woah be he that replaced his beloved foam with springs!!!! There were tears, temper tantrums and big pouty lips!!!!
I feel for him, I really do! My parents replaced my custom-made foam mattress bed ( that had big drawers) with a double box-spring bed when I was about that age, and I HATED it. Not that I could say much about it of course. I still prefer a good thick foam over a spring coil.... I hate the trembling after-shocks of rolling over. (My hubby needs the springs because of his substantial heft).
What to do? I can't really make his bed tall again, luckily he seems to be getting used to the lower bed..... the issue is the mattress!
- He sleeps on the new one as well as ever (he doesn't sleep much)
- I have caught him bouncing on it.... (oh ya, that makes me happy all right).
- He still says he hates it 3 days later.
Should I put his foam back on and return the spring one? the reciept says she paid a whopping $338 for it!!!!! DOUBLE what replacing the foam would have been. So do I return it and snub my mommy's generosity? Do I say thank you very much and snub my son's foam preference?
OR do I just hide the mattress until my sister's daughter is out of her toddler bed?
BTW: To try to appease his disrupted life, I agreed to paint his room (not black) so here is what he came up with......
9.28.2007
Bad blood
When someone says there is "bad blood between them"..... what does that mean anyway? I assumed it meant resentment and unresolved emotional distress, but I am just guessing....
hmmmm....
Answers.com says; "Enmity or bitterness among individuals or groups of people."
the freedictionary.com says; "a feeling of ill will arousing active hostility"
encarta.ca says; "ill feeling: an intense and usually long-lasting feeling of hatred, anger, or resentment".
So I guess I am not too far off.
I was lying in my bed last night thinking about how wonderful my marriage is. T's enthusiastic snoring being the soundtrack to my happy musings. Not content with just lying there being happy, I had to think of the times when I wasn't so content with the man I promised to love forever.
(Why do we do this to ourselves anyhow?)
There have been times when I didn't like him very much. I know dwelling on these things is not healthy nor is it productive.... but I am doing it for now.
He is the most superstitious atheist I have ever met. He is very very threatened by organized religion and even disorganized faith.... this has caused us some heart break and arguments. (NEVER assume that just because the person you love doesn't talk about religion that they don't have a very strong opinion!!!!) Honestly, if I had known how seriously he appalls anything that he can't touch or see, I would probably have slated him as not marriage material -- terrible eh?
He is closeminded to all but the most traditional beliefs and values when it comes to work, love, childrearing, entertainment, etc, etc. (The word "red-neck" immediately springs to mind). AND he is threatened by any man/person that show the slightest hint of creativity or outward thinking (if it wasn't so sad it would be comical). Now I did know a bit about this before we got too serious. I wanted a traditional man -- a manly man that fixes stuff and would work hard, protect his family and be the breadwinner if that was called on him..... so I can't blame him for not fulfilling any of those traits I desired in a husband. HOWEVER, a little creativity, a little thinking outside the traditional can be really enriching -- I know that fact, and I wish he could see it too. His blinders were firmly in place before he was 20, and no amount of prying at them has budged them an inch. sigh it's a fact and I love him anyways.
He is preachy. I realize it is a trait of many many husbands that cherish their wives, but really it is very insulting in alot of ways. Other than taking it with a sweet smile and gently batted eyelashes like I used to, I have lost my tolerance for it and generally just say "you have told me that before" with an exasperated eye roll and he generally shuts it down. I don't like being mean like that, but REALLY. The worst though is when he is preaching about my childrearing techniques. The very LAST thing I want to hear when I have my voiced raised in desparation trying to ge the kids to follow through on something (for the millionth time) is T saying "calm down"! Enough said.
hmmmm....
Answers.com says; "Enmity or bitterness among individuals or groups of people."
the freedictionary.com says; "a feeling of ill will arousing active hostility"
encarta.ca says; "ill feeling: an intense and usually long-lasting feeling of hatred, anger, or resentment".
So I guess I am not too far off.
I was lying in my bed last night thinking about how wonderful my marriage is. T's enthusiastic snoring being the soundtrack to my happy musings. Not content with just lying there being happy, I had to think of the times when I wasn't so content with the man I promised to love forever.
(Why do we do this to ourselves anyhow?)
There have been times when I didn't like him very much. I know dwelling on these things is not healthy nor is it productive.... but I am doing it for now.
He is the most superstitious atheist I have ever met. He is very very threatened by organized religion and even disorganized faith.... this has caused us some heart break and arguments. (NEVER assume that just because the person you love doesn't talk about religion that they don't have a very strong opinion!!!!) Honestly, if I had known how seriously he appalls anything that he can't touch or see, I would probably have slated him as not marriage material -- terrible eh?
He is closeminded to all but the most traditional beliefs and values when it comes to work, love, childrearing, entertainment, etc, etc. (The word "red-neck" immediately springs to mind). AND he is threatened by any man/person that show the slightest hint of creativity or outward thinking (if it wasn't so sad it would be comical). Now I did know a bit about this before we got too serious. I wanted a traditional man -- a manly man that fixes stuff and would work hard, protect his family and be the breadwinner if that was called on him..... so I can't blame him for not fulfilling any of those traits I desired in a husband. HOWEVER, a little creativity, a little thinking outside the traditional can be really enriching -- I know that fact, and I wish he could see it too. His blinders were firmly in place before he was 20, and no amount of prying at them has budged them an inch. sigh it's a fact and I love him anyways.
He is preachy. I realize it is a trait of many many husbands that cherish their wives, but really it is very insulting in alot of ways. Other than taking it with a sweet smile and gently batted eyelashes like I used to, I have lost my tolerance for it and generally just say "you have told me that before" with an exasperated eye roll and he generally shuts it down. I don't like being mean like that, but REALLY. The worst though is when he is preaching about my childrearing techniques. The very LAST thing I want to hear when I have my voiced raised in desparation trying to ge the kids to follow through on something (for the millionth time) is T saying "calm down"! Enough said.
He is moody.
There are times when I can't predict where his moods are going. Who knows what sends him off? Sometimes he has violent attacks on the household grime, and since they come through as cleaning raids I can't really complain too much. Except things get broken, there is much grumbing and huffing and inevitably someone ends up crying. I have never once said "calm down" when he is like this. Maybe I should.
He is set in his ways. He had it in his head he would not be able to contact me on the vacation. He was convinced I was not going to give him the information. (Unreasonable). So when I handed him a piece of paper with the hotel phone numbers, names and the dates we had the reservations, he said thatnk you, put it in his wallet and promptly forgot he had it. When I got back and was gushing over how wonderful it all was he got a peculiar, hard look on his face. I said "hey it wasn't too bad while I was gone, and I'm back now!" And he said, "I would have felt alot better if there was some way to contact you." So I said "what about that list with all the numbers on it?" He said he never got a list, I reminded him that he put it right in his wallet. And sure enough he pulled out his wallet, and there it was. He just kind of looked at it. I was mad at him for holding the grudge, but amused that he had himself all worked up over nothing. He does that a lot. Works himself up over the minute details and obscure scenerios. I gagged when he asked what the sleeping arrangements were going to be on the trip. He was so serious! I ALMOST said "We are all taking turns with Jeff" just to see what would happen. Luckily the little angel on my right shoulder muted me in time, and all that came out was a little gagged chuckle instead.
That leads us to the biggy....
He is very, very, very jealous.
Jealous of the time I spend with my sister, work and my dearest friends.... (he doesn't understand the need for friends anymore than the need for faith or creativity.... it makes me want to cry).
This jealousy issue is something I did know before we were wed, but he had friends then and we were always able to talk it down before it got out of hand..... it never really became an issue until a couple years ago when he was unreasonably CRUEL and relentlessly hostile to my business's assitant designer -- no matter how much I pleaded reason with him. This is something that drove a wedge between us, deep and hard. This is the point that I dwelled on last night.
Why did he need to be mean? He pissed around his territory and stalked around me like some silverback gorilla pounding his chest around his little fragile mate. It was terrible and he was intimidating.... it felt like he couldn't trust my judgement and indeed that's exactly what he ended up saying. "Men can't be trusted" he said, "ALL men want sex all the time". (GAAAACK! Hey man! Are you listening to yourself? So you had eyes on all the older, married mothers when you worked at your jobs 10 years ago? You mean I can't trust YOU ever?!). Something broke during that time in our relationship. It shattered and there has been no attempt to repair it. The aforementioned designer quit my contract, and fled town to live in his parent's spare room! My hubby saw it as problem solved. I saw it as brawn beating the shit out of anything reasonable.
So that wound was left open, and the scar tissue is very thick. It doesn't hurt anymore, but there is a complete lack of feeling and its an ugly ugly blemish.
The other faults I have lived around, incorporated into our loving relationship (either through acceptance or ignoring it) as he has accepted my faults and built them into why we compliment each other. But this last point is inexusable to me and I have a bit of "bad-blood" there.
These are the thoughts I was dwelling on as I drifted off to sleep last night, and my dreams echoed it.
------
We are dropping the kids off with Grandpa for an outing, and at the last minute I decide I would rather have a kidless day with my hubby than spend it with the kids at the beach. I hop in the passenger side and T has a funny disgruntled look on his face. "Do you mind?" I ask with a big happy grin on my face. "Of course not" he gruffs. And as I am twisting around to do up my seatbelt he PEELS out of the driveway at mach-speed I am thrown back into the bench seat and a terrible sharp pain sears up my spine. I call out in agony and begin wailing loudly -- the pain is excruciating and isn't calming down. The worst of it is T is still driving like he is angry and my cries seem to be making it worse. He is ignoring me and when I say " Oh my God T my back is killing me!" He says angrily "I thought you wanted to come". And we peel into a parking lot (there are tents set up, it looks like some sort of swap meet), me clasping my back for support, tears streaming down my face sobbing loudly, him stubbornly gripping the wheel with both hands looking stright ahead.
And I woke up. I was still sobbing a bit.
-----
I know, it is ripe with symbolism.
I just want to stress, he had many fine, fine qualities that I would be hard pressed to find anywhere else! He is generous, loyal, kind, caring, funny, dutiful, strong.... just to name a few. I am not complaining about what I have, because indeed I think I have it really really good (Hey, I'm not perfect either) and all relationships need to grow, to evolve and to adapt to survive for any length of time!
Nice job venting eh?
He is very, very, very jealous.
Jealous of the time I spend with my sister, work and my dearest friends.... (he doesn't understand the need for friends anymore than the need for faith or creativity.... it makes me want to cry).
This jealousy issue is something I did know before we were wed, but he had friends then and we were always able to talk it down before it got out of hand..... it never really became an issue until a couple years ago when he was unreasonably CRUEL and relentlessly hostile to my business's assitant designer -- no matter how much I pleaded reason with him. This is something that drove a wedge between us, deep and hard. This is the point that I dwelled on last night.
Why did he need to be mean? He pissed around his territory and stalked around me like some silverback gorilla pounding his chest around his little fragile mate. It was terrible and he was intimidating.... it felt like he couldn't trust my judgement and indeed that's exactly what he ended up saying. "Men can't be trusted" he said, "ALL men want sex all the time". (GAAAACK! Hey man! Are you listening to yourself? So you had eyes on all the older, married mothers when you worked at your jobs 10 years ago? You mean I can't trust YOU ever?!). Something broke during that time in our relationship. It shattered and there has been no attempt to repair it. The aforementioned designer quit my contract, and fled town to live in his parent's spare room! My hubby saw it as problem solved. I saw it as brawn beating the shit out of anything reasonable.
So that wound was left open, and the scar tissue is very thick. It doesn't hurt anymore, but there is a complete lack of feeling and its an ugly ugly blemish.
The other faults I have lived around, incorporated into our loving relationship (either through acceptance or ignoring it) as he has accepted my faults and built them into why we compliment each other. But this last point is inexusable to me and I have a bit of "bad-blood" there.
These are the thoughts I was dwelling on as I drifted off to sleep last night, and my dreams echoed it.
------
We are dropping the kids off with Grandpa for an outing, and at the last minute I decide I would rather have a kidless day with my hubby than spend it with the kids at the beach. I hop in the passenger side and T has a funny disgruntled look on his face. "Do you mind?" I ask with a big happy grin on my face. "Of course not" he gruffs. And as I am twisting around to do up my seatbelt he PEELS out of the driveway at mach-speed I am thrown back into the bench seat and a terrible sharp pain sears up my spine. I call out in agony and begin wailing loudly -- the pain is excruciating and isn't calming down. The worst of it is T is still driving like he is angry and my cries seem to be making it worse. He is ignoring me and when I say " Oh my God T my back is killing me!" He says angrily "I thought you wanted to come". And we peel into a parking lot (there are tents set up, it looks like some sort of swap meet), me clasping my back for support, tears streaming down my face sobbing loudly, him stubbornly gripping the wheel with both hands looking stright ahead.
And I woke up. I was still sobbing a bit.
-----
I know, it is ripe with symbolism.
I just want to stress, he had many fine, fine qualities that I would be hard pressed to find anywhere else! He is generous, loyal, kind, caring, funny, dutiful, strong.... just to name a few. I am not complaining about what I have, because indeed I think I have it really really good (Hey, I'm not perfect either) and all relationships need to grow, to evolve and to adapt to survive for any length of time!
Nice job venting eh?
9.27.2007
I said "never again"
Famous last words -- Never again.
The last garage sale I hosted was an utter flop. Lots of preparation, lots of time wasted, not compensation at all. I said I would never try it again.
Well, my sister had a garage sale with a few of her neighbours this weekend. I said I'd add a table to her driveway.
So I dug out of the dark recesses of my bookcase, closets and shelving all the things that I was hanging onto because I thought the were too valuable to just abandon on the thrift store steps, but not valuable enough to list on eBay. And trust me, there was a lot of it. I managed to fill the bed of my pick up truck.
On the morning of the sale I priced, displayed, and waited. Thank heavens the weather cooperated! It was a sunny t-shirt day but I think being late September most of the garage sale hard-cores think of it as the off season.
In the end the traffic was very light through the neighbourhood and the sales were more amongst EACH OTHER than to the general public!
I sold some stuff, and I bought some stuff. The truck came home less full, and I guess that really had to be the point as there was no money made. ( I did trade something for $50 worth of babysitting services though, so I guess I am up a couple carefree days!)
Of the things I bought, very little of it is staying in the house. Birthday presents, a largish baby shower present and even a few stocking stuffers for the boys for Christmas.
My bookshelf is sighing with the small relief it got and the toy box is marginally less crowded.
Now, what shall I do with the leftovers? Still too nice to abandon, but at the same time I was willing to let them go for a measly amount.....
The last garage sale I hosted was an utter flop. Lots of preparation, lots of time wasted, not compensation at all. I said I would never try it again.
Well, my sister had a garage sale with a few of her neighbours this weekend. I said I'd add a table to her driveway.
So I dug out of the dark recesses of my bookcase, closets and shelving all the things that I was hanging onto because I thought the were too valuable to just abandon on the thrift store steps, but not valuable enough to list on eBay. And trust me, there was a lot of it. I managed to fill the bed of my pick up truck.
On the morning of the sale I priced, displayed, and waited. Thank heavens the weather cooperated! It was a sunny t-shirt day but I think being late September most of the garage sale hard-cores think of it as the off season.
In the end the traffic was very light through the neighbourhood and the sales were more amongst EACH OTHER than to the general public!
I sold some stuff, and I bought some stuff. The truck came home less full, and I guess that really had to be the point as there was no money made. ( I did trade something for $50 worth of babysitting services though, so I guess I am up a couple carefree days!)
Of the things I bought, very little of it is staying in the house. Birthday presents, a largish baby shower present and even a few stocking stuffers for the boys for Christmas.
My bookshelf is sighing with the small relief it got and the toy box is marginally less crowded.
Now, what shall I do with the leftovers? Still too nice to abandon, but at the same time I was willing to let them go for a measly amount.....
9.24.2007
How to talk like a Pirate
Avast ye scurvy dogs!
I mentioned this last year, but now there is a LINK for speaking pirate (see Best Writing: How to Talk Like a Pirate ........... I laugh so hard!
I think they did a marvellous job!
While at the Vancouver Island Short Film Festival's website, I recommend checking out the Best Film winner too..... completely different mood, but well done.
9.12.2007
Love is about the Details
Here are some of the finer details on my trip to Venice. The vistas were breathtaking, the grand canal spectacular, but the things that made me fall in LOVE with Venice were all the details, everywhere....
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