(photo of a typewriter I bought at a garage sale & later sold - it was a wonderfully tactile experience pounding on those keys... no more)
Here is a Haiku by K. Bannerman
Clickity-clack: the
Metal rhythm of language
4.27.2011
4.26.2011
What to say... what to say...
T also told him that he knew they were approaching people in the neighbourhood at mailboxes and in the grocery store to say lies about us. The man said he didn't know anything about it. T called him a LIAR, the man back-pedalled and said maybe his wife did but he didn't have anything to do with it. T laughed at him then and told him to GROW UP. T said he wouldn't stand for this kind of behaviour anymore (nothing specific) .... the whole thing apparently was loud and T didn't let the man get too many words in.
At the end of it T tossed the block back over there. (Later he regretted that and wondered if it was some sort of admission of guilt... he said he was going to toss the block away anyway).
But when we all got home from my niece's birthday dinner last night, their sign had been flipped over. So maybe he figured out they had seriously crossed the line. That man is old, slight of build, but in very good shape, but still ... I know T can be an impressive mountain of a man when his hackles are up, it must have been intimidating even if his words weren't. (I actually didn't SEE the argument, I was making lunch and missed the whole thing!)
I'm still making my commandment sign (above)... T says it still applies and may remind them to not spread lies anymore.
4.25.2011
I have always thought living in a boat or RV type space would be liberating in a way. There is a website (blog) about a couple that travels from place to place helping out the Red Cross in their deluxe bus with their cats, dog and even fish. It's called Our Oddyssey and thought the daily stories don't always sound like fun, it really does sound like freedom to me. If you have time, I highly recommend the video tours of their rig, its really clever!
The thing that appeals to me the most is how a well-designed space can be very tiny and still have everything you need -- in style! I'm not talking about cardboard wood patterned cupboards and tacky puff valances here, I'm talking a space that is designed specifically to what you need, where you need it, built with enduring quality materials that give pleasure everytime you see or touch them! Boat builders have known these secrets for ages, I wonder why so few homes even try?
A 45 foot yacht can be comfortable and luxurious, how come a 45 foot home can rarely feel that way?
I love how every nook is utilized, how every surface is integrated and as functional as possible. Of course one thing I really don't like about boats is that you can't just "take a walk", unless you want to get wet. The few sailing trips I have been on, I start feeling claustrophobic pretty quick. Not because of the living space, but because of the lack of outside space.( I never feel claustrophobic on our camping trips in the tiny tent trailer.) Also you can't grow things from a boat unless you are permanently moored somewhere... not so much freedom then.... I'm not a boat person per-se, I'm a boat craftsmanship enthusiast.
Come to think of it, I think the freedom isn't just about being able to pull anchor (or unplug the RV), I think my impression of it also comes from the use of space. Having a traditional home commits you to things like furniture and filling the space with all the usual trappings. In a clearly defined, set living space there is no need to look for "more" and that sounds like a good thing to me. Nobody is going to buy you brick-a-brack for your birthday if you are living in a 300sq ft place. You would be off the hook for hosting indoor parties, and cleaning would be straightforward. Coupling the extreme functionality of a well designed boat with a nice, fertile plot of land and I think I could be very very happy (Maybe a treehouse!)
I am rambling.... I don't want to live in a boat, and I won't be selling my house for an RV any time soon. The reality of spouse and children would be more of a nightmare than a dream, so I will look at my built in kitchen nook and built in bookshelf and be content for now.
The thing that appeals to me the most is how a well-designed space can be very tiny and still have everything you need -- in style! I'm not talking about cardboard wood patterned cupboards and tacky puff valances here, I'm talking a space that is designed specifically to what you need, where you need it, built with enduring quality materials that give pleasure everytime you see or touch them! Boat builders have known these secrets for ages, I wonder why so few homes even try?
A 45 foot yacht can be comfortable and luxurious, how come a 45 foot home can rarely feel that way?
I love how every nook is utilized, how every surface is integrated and as functional as possible. Of course one thing I really don't like about boats is that you can't just "take a walk", unless you want to get wet. The few sailing trips I have been on, I start feeling claustrophobic pretty quick. Not because of the living space, but because of the lack of outside space.( I never feel claustrophobic on our camping trips in the tiny tent trailer.) Also you can't grow things from a boat unless you are permanently moored somewhere... not so much freedom then.... I'm not a boat person per-se, I'm a boat craftsmanship enthusiast.
Come to think of it, I think the freedom isn't just about being able to pull anchor (or unplug the RV), I think my impression of it also comes from the use of space. Having a traditional home commits you to things like furniture and filling the space with all the usual trappings. In a clearly defined, set living space there is no need to look for "more" and that sounds like a good thing to me. Nobody is going to buy you brick-a-brack for your birthday if you are living in a 300sq ft place. You would be off the hook for hosting indoor parties, and cleaning would be straightforward. Coupling the extreme functionality of a well designed boat with a nice, fertile plot of land and I think I could be very very happy (Maybe a treehouse!)
I am rambling.... I don't want to live in a boat, and I won't be selling my house for an RV any time soon. The reality of spouse and children would be more of a nightmare than a dream, so I will look at my built in kitchen nook and built in bookshelf and be content for now.
4.24.2011
How's this for crazy?
We came home from a nice family day in the sun yesterday to find the above placard on the property line just below the fence. So, apparently she didn't believe me when I said the block was my husband's last Saturday, eh?
She can blow stupid at people all day long if she wants, but calling me a LIAR and a thief in writing has my blood boiling.
She has literally spelled it out for me how completely mad she is, and I don't think I can take it anymore. My heart is pounding in my throat and screaming for revenge, but I really don't want to stoop to the level of a mad old lady either.... what to do?
T doesn't want me to use the other neighbour as a neutral territory, but I'm not sure what else I can do without flipping out at her over the fence next time I see her.... not a pretty scene, and in a way that would make her "right" if I got aggressive, and I refuse to do that!!!
I think what I am feeling right now could be described as "wrath" so I don't want to do that sin for too much longer. I may feel inclined to make my own sign.... something that couldn't be construed as slander, but still gets the point across.....
Shakespeare has some good ones:
"Sense sure you have, else could you not have motion; but sure that sense is apoplex'd. "
-a real thought provoker.
"Thine forward voice, now, is to speak well of thine friend; thine backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract."
-not too subtle
"That trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?"
-but that may be a bit much!
The bible has excellent warning right up front, it's one of the commandments!
"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor" -Exodus 20:2–17
"There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers."– Proverbs 6:16-19
Or how about this one?
"Without wielding the sword, the slanderer employs a poisonous tongue to the shame and hurt of your neighbor." -Martin Luther
There are a whole lot of warnings against what they are doing over history... they should be embarassed! Maybe I should just stay calm and live with the satisfaction that they are crazy (and sinners too).
My youngest boy told to me last night that he is afraid of those neighbours.... now that hurts. It could be because of how I react to them, so I will have to watch out.
4.17.2011
I don't know what to say...
I have mentioned my neighbour before. She was in the habit of accusing my 9 year old boy of everything and willing to say she "saw him do it" even though he couldn't have (like the time the plants blew over in the windstorm in the middle of the night, but she said she saw Cami kick them). T and I have just decided she is nuts and pretty much ignore her peeking though her shades at us in our driveway. I even let it slide that she had her video camera out and was recording my son his cousin playing in our yard "I'm watching you" she warned them... though I'm not sure what she thought they were going to do with their tonka trucks... in our own yard!
It was seeming better since we put up the fence (I love that fence).... we need to make it go farther up the side yard, all the way up so she quits claiming our yard as her own, if that's what she's doing -- who knows.
One of my longtime friends who is also just down the road, called me the other day to tell me my neighbour is "a piece of work". Apparently, she cornered her at the mailbox a little while ago in an attempt to tell her how terrible we were (not the first people she's tried this with), and that she better watch her security, blah, blah, blah.... well this friend of mine stopped her rather quickly and said "oh those guys, yes I've been friends with the husband since I was a teen, I was a room mate to the wife in my early 20's and I babysat the baby when he was just little, aren't they a wonderful family?!" The bad-meaning neighbour just grumbled something under her breathe and walked away. That is the FIFTH person she has done that to that I know of. I wonder, really, what she is getting out of it because she can't be getting a lot of people agreeing with her. Thankfully I have good relations with most of the people in my immediate area, and a lot of other people in this small valley too. They know for a fact that we are honest, and try to be helpful people and we are trying to instill those same values in our boys.... like I said, I wonder what she gets out of this vendetta.
Today she came into my yard looking for a block of wood, it was beside the garage, exactly where T put it. She started TELLING me that it was her block and she had it protecting a tree for a year. I was confused, because the block in question had been used by T since before their house was even built to hold up T's dad's boat trailer tongue, complete with special groove for the little wheel, and it only went missing about 8 months ago (to under their shrub apparently). I asked her what she meant, which block? She just yelled that she couldn't talk to me and stormed off. I found out that T thought he was picking up a mis-layed block last weekend, (collecting it mostly because he thought they would bitch that we left litter in their yard or something...) who knew that she had claimed it as hers!
I was needing a little soothing, so I went to my other neighbour's house and had a nice cup of herbal tea and pet their fluffy kitties and little, super affectionate lap dog. We talked about the garden plans for the year, travelling (she has gone all over the place), and of course the crazy lady. The husband mentioned that they have repeatedly cornered him in the grocery store to say some pretty serious things about us, he wouldn't expand on it because he could see it made me upset... he just said he dismissed it as all false.
We had a nervous chuckle over how bored she must be, and went back to gardening tips.
Between the block, the video taping the kids and the defaming of our character to neighbours I am pretty upset at the moment. I'm not sure if I should write her a letter apologizing about the block being ours or just keep ignoring her lunacy as best as I can... WHAT DO YOU THINK?
At least I had a nice visit with my good neighbour.
Oh ya, and I washed and detailed my car today too! It's very sparkly!
+++++
Next morning update:
+++++
After an uneasy sleep I feel less upset, but no less confounded by our neighbour.
My sister's advice is to confront her and her husband and ask what can be done to make peace. BUT if that is met with the cold response that we have had from them LAST TIME we asked what we tell them to get the fact straight before spreading rumours, that we have been told what they are saying by our friends and that it is unrealistic. That we have the friendship of the neighbours long before they came along and the rumour spreading is making them look foolish. BUT I know I won't have the courage to face them and say that. Honestly, I don't want this to escalate. I'm not sure what more she could do to us, but there is no doubt in my mind that she is a crazy lady that is hell-bent on tagging us with something, so why provoke?
It was seeming better since we put up the fence (I love that fence).... we need to make it go farther up the side yard, all the way up so she quits claiming our yard as her own, if that's what she's doing -- who knows.
One of my longtime friends who is also just down the road, called me the other day to tell me my neighbour is "a piece of work". Apparently, she cornered her at the mailbox a little while ago in an attempt to tell her how terrible we were (not the first people she's tried this with), and that she better watch her security, blah, blah, blah.... well this friend of mine stopped her rather quickly and said "oh those guys, yes I've been friends with the husband since I was a teen, I was a room mate to the wife in my early 20's and I babysat the baby when he was just little, aren't they a wonderful family?!" The bad-meaning neighbour just grumbled something under her breathe and walked away. That is the FIFTH person she has done that to that I know of. I wonder, really, what she is getting out of it because she can't be getting a lot of people agreeing with her. Thankfully I have good relations with most of the people in my immediate area, and a lot of other people in this small valley too. They know for a fact that we are honest, and try to be helpful people and we are trying to instill those same values in our boys.... like I said, I wonder what she gets out of this vendetta.
Today she came into my yard looking for a block of wood, it was beside the garage, exactly where T put it. She started TELLING me that it was her block and she had it protecting a tree for a year. I was confused, because the block in question had been used by T since before their house was even built to hold up T's dad's boat trailer tongue, complete with special groove for the little wheel, and it only went missing about 8 months ago (to under their shrub apparently). I asked her what she meant, which block? She just yelled that she couldn't talk to me and stormed off. I found out that T thought he was picking up a mis-layed block last weekend, (collecting it mostly because he thought they would bitch that we left litter in their yard or something...) who knew that she had claimed it as hers!
I was needing a little soothing, so I went to my other neighbour's house and had a nice cup of herbal tea and pet their fluffy kitties and little, super affectionate lap dog. We talked about the garden plans for the year, travelling (she has gone all over the place), and of course the crazy lady. The husband mentioned that they have repeatedly cornered him in the grocery store to say some pretty serious things about us, he wouldn't expand on it because he could see it made me upset... he just said he dismissed it as all false.
We had a nervous chuckle over how bored she must be, and went back to gardening tips.
Between the block, the video taping the kids and the defaming of our character to neighbours I am pretty upset at the moment. I'm not sure if I should write her a letter apologizing about the block being ours or just keep ignoring her lunacy as best as I can... WHAT DO YOU THINK?
At least I had a nice visit with my good neighbour.
+++++
Next morning update:
+++++
After an uneasy sleep I feel less upset, but no less confounded by our neighbour.
My sister's advice is to confront her and her husband and ask what can be done to make peace. BUT if that is met with the cold response that we have had from them LAST TIME we asked what we tell them to get the fact straight before spreading rumours, that we have been told what they are saying by our friends and that it is unrealistic. That we have the friendship of the neighbours long before they came along and the rumour spreading is making them look foolish. BUT I know I won't have the courage to face them and say that. Honestly, I don't want this to escalate. I'm not sure what more she could do to us, but there is no doubt in my mind that she is a crazy lady that is hell-bent on tagging us with something, so why provoke?
4.13.2011
Not There Yet
I haven't made as much progress on my bookshelf as I would like. It may not be piled 4 feet high in front of it anymore, but it still doesn't all fit yet either.
A place for everything and everything in it's place has not been acheived with books as of yet. My ruthless closet culling techniques aren't working with books... I'm feeling a little disapointed with myself in this department...
4.11.2011
ouchy
This weekend was extremely productive!
I turned over my entire garden by noon Saturday (sure it's only 10 x 4, but that's a lot of digging for me).
I mowed the lawn, mixed the compost bin, trimmed some plants and took inventory of what plants drowned this winter.... my rosemary and one sage didn't make it...much too wet this winter....
Then Saturday evening (after making a slow batch of leek risotto) T and I did something more social than usual and went to a neighbour's birthday party. I haven't been to a rip-roaring booze-fest like that in years. But thankfully it was more civilized than the crazy parties of my youth. There were lots of finger foods and non-alcoholic beverage options. Everyone had a plan for getting home safely and there were no fights. The birthday girl was celebrating her 40th, and friends from out of town and friends from around the corner were invited there must have been over a hundred vodka jello shooters being served, and the music was pumpin'. I loved seeing everyone and had a good time. We stayed until 11:30 ! (now you know that is REALLY late for us, believe me).
Next day was fine (no hangover, I had more fun watching than drinking).
The weather was completely the opposite of Saturday... RAINY, WINDY, COLD. yuck. So I cleaned up the dreaded laundry-room to make ready as a guest-room for T's brother coming to visit shortly.
I made a very yummy cauliflower vindaloo and everything seemed okay. Then after dinner things went wrong.
(warning, it gets graphic from here on)
I can't explain what happened... my ears felt dull, then my eyes started to ache, then a thumping began at the base of my skull. I took a tylenol, but persisted in feeling slightly car sick and the headache was getting worse. I finally had to go to bed at 8pm, the pain was too much. Cami came to my bed and read me a Dr. Suess story and tucked me in... what a sweety pie.
Less than an hour later it was a raging hurricaine in my skull, the electric barbed wire was being dragged through my skull in time with my heart -- a splitting, cracking thumdering pain that literally had me gulping air as fast as I could. The tylenol hadn't dented it.
The cold compress on my forehead felt like it was the only thing keeping my eyeballs from coming straight out of my head. I thought it may be a migraine, but I've never had one that came on so fast and completely as this one. By the time T came to bed I was trembling and gasping and he was very very worried for me.
I decided to try a technique I applied in labour with baby#2... I tried calming myself completely and detatching the pain from my body. I tried mindfully feeling what was causing the pain and the exact location so I could objectively deal with it. I forced my breathing to calm and took myself away to look at the pain from the outside.... at first it worked-- to a point, I was no longer gasping or trembling. Then something completely unexpected!!! The demon that had been clawing inside my skull slipped down to my stomach and wrung it HARD! I threw up, and up, and up until there was nothing left. (thankfully I had a big bowl that had had the cold compress in bed with me). The wretching left me exhausted so the demon crawled back into my skull to drill, scrape and pound some more. Oddly, emptying my stomache calmed me a great deal. T got up and helped me get myself back together (without any bright lights or sudden movements) he then gave me a big dose of tylenol and some water and set me back to bed (what a good husband he is). I guess the tylenol worked better without the competition of a full stomach, because I was able to fall asleep eventually.
This morning my ears are still painfully stuffed, and I have a strange painful thick feeling in my jaw muscles, if I stand up I can feel my heart beating in my head and behind my eyes still hurts. On a normal day I would say I have a headache, but after last night I will only call it "aftershocks".
T called me from work. He was willing to come home and take care of my if it was still bad, apparently I scared him last night. He asked me to go to the doctor. Last time I did that the doctor said.. "oh, it sounds like a migraine, take tylenol at the first sign and head to a dark quiet place until it's better". No point in driving like this to hear a useless diagnosis.
I always feel like I should have permanent damage after a migraine, but here I am walking talking and seeing in colour, so I guess I'm okay.
I see the sun is out again today... I hope that means everything will be better!
I turned over my entire garden by noon Saturday (sure it's only 10 x 4, but that's a lot of digging for me).
I mowed the lawn, mixed the compost bin, trimmed some plants and took inventory of what plants drowned this winter.... my rosemary and one sage didn't make it...much too wet this winter....
Then Saturday evening (after making a slow batch of leek risotto) T and I did something more social than usual and went to a neighbour's birthday party. I haven't been to a rip-roaring booze-fest like that in years. But thankfully it was more civilized than the crazy parties of my youth. There were lots of finger foods and non-alcoholic beverage options. Everyone had a plan for getting home safely and there were no fights. The birthday girl was celebrating her 40th, and friends from out of town and friends from around the corner were invited there must have been over a hundred vodka jello shooters being served, and the music was pumpin'. I loved seeing everyone and had a good time. We stayed until 11:30 ! (now you know that is REALLY late for us, believe me).
Next day was fine (no hangover, I had more fun watching than drinking).
The weather was completely the opposite of Saturday... RAINY, WINDY, COLD. yuck. So I cleaned up the dreaded laundry-room to make ready as a guest-room for T's brother coming to visit shortly.
I made a very yummy cauliflower vindaloo and everything seemed okay. Then after dinner things went wrong.
(warning, it gets graphic from here on)
I can't explain what happened... my ears felt dull, then my eyes started to ache, then a thumping began at the base of my skull. I took a tylenol, but persisted in feeling slightly car sick and the headache was getting worse. I finally had to go to bed at 8pm, the pain was too much. Cami came to my bed and read me a Dr. Suess story and tucked me in... what a sweety pie.
Less than an hour later it was a raging hurricaine in my skull, the electric barbed wire was being dragged through my skull in time with my heart -- a splitting, cracking thumdering pain that literally had me gulping air as fast as I could. The tylenol hadn't dented it.
The cold compress on my forehead felt like it was the only thing keeping my eyeballs from coming straight out of my head. I thought it may be a migraine, but I've never had one that came on so fast and completely as this one. By the time T came to bed I was trembling and gasping and he was very very worried for me.
I decided to try a technique I applied in labour with baby#2... I tried calming myself completely and detatching the pain from my body. I tried mindfully feeling what was causing the pain and the exact location so I could objectively deal with it. I forced my breathing to calm and took myself away to look at the pain from the outside.... at first it worked-- to a point, I was no longer gasping or trembling. Then something completely unexpected!!! The demon that had been clawing inside my skull slipped down to my stomach and wrung it HARD! I threw up, and up, and up until there was nothing left. (thankfully I had a big bowl that had had the cold compress in bed with me). The wretching left me exhausted so the demon crawled back into my skull to drill, scrape and pound some more. Oddly, emptying my stomache calmed me a great deal. T got up and helped me get myself back together (without any bright lights or sudden movements) he then gave me a big dose of tylenol and some water and set me back to bed (what a good husband he is). I guess the tylenol worked better without the competition of a full stomach, because I was able to fall asleep eventually.
This morning my ears are still painfully stuffed, and I have a strange painful thick feeling in my jaw muscles, if I stand up I can feel my heart beating in my head and behind my eyes still hurts. On a normal day I would say I have a headache, but after last night I will only call it "aftershocks".
T called me from work. He was willing to come home and take care of my if it was still bad, apparently I scared him last night. He asked me to go to the doctor. Last time I did that the doctor said.. "oh, it sounds like a migraine, take tylenol at the first sign and head to a dark quiet place until it's better". No point in driving like this to hear a useless diagnosis.
I always feel like I should have permanent damage after a migraine, but here I am walking talking and seeing in colour, so I guess I'm okay.
I see the sun is out again today... I hope that means everything will be better!
4.08.2011
If I had a Million Dollars...
My all-time favourite "BareNaked Ladies" song, and a fun exercise for me!
If I had $1 million....I would have a summer house that was breezy and serene.... with lots of natural materials. It would be clean, sparse and calming on the inside, thought-provoking and magical outside.
With a small fountain and pond greeting you at the front entrance....
I'd have a courtyard outside my bedroom....
And a bookcase down the hall...
And a deep bathtub with a view...
With a shaded walled garden.... with leafy green paths with portals to beauty around every corner...
A bedroom with a reading place in the window...
A generous amount of light, space and flow....
(My winter house would be different, more traditional western design.)
4.05.2011
Crazy days are here again
The first few months of the year are crazy around here.... not just because of the wild weather or cabin fever, it has to do with it being "birthday season" too. First comes T's birthday (he turned 40 this year) thankfully he doesn't like anyone making a big deal about his birthday (also my best friend's husband & another friend's). Then there is my brother-in-law a couple days later (T's sister's husband) and he doesn't like a whoopdee doo either. Then there is Valentine's Day (not officially a birthday, but the kids celebrate it). My birthday is hot on the heels of that one, then in rapid succession: Steve's, a nephew's, one of my best friend's, then my mom's b-day, and my step dad's ALL IN ONE WEEK!
GASP!
Easter can fall in the midst of that sometimes too... usually a small breather before a couple more birthdays in May, and away we go again...
Sure it's fun, but it makes it hard to focus on a tighter budget, simpler meal plans, decluttering or even work!
(the photos are of my -now 14 year old- son at the local treetop adventure park. This weekend we took him to with a couple buddies as a birthday treat... you can't have a fear of heights on that course, no sirree)
4.02.2011
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