Something to Aspire to

These are Ben Franklin's Thirteen Virtues....

1. TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

2. SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.

3. ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.

4. RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

5. FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.

6. INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

7. SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.

8. JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

9. MODERATION. Avoid extreams; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

10. CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.

11.TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

12. CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.

13. HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

I think Benny boy was onto something here!!!! It is definitly something to aspire to, now that I am older and *ahem* wiser.

(picture from here)

Welcome 2010

What a year 2009 was!

For our neighbours to the South, the election of Obama breathed new hope into their politics. I too was excited about Obama, I still HOPE he can make some real progress for his sometimes-egocentric super-nation. I truly hope it is working for them -- I am embarrassed to admit that I just don't pay attention much to any politics, enough of our own country to make an acceptable voting decision, and less for everywhere else... it's shameful. Honestly the process hasn't impressed me for some time and my vote seems to mean diddly squat as far as getting what I vote for... (especially municipally, every referendum I voted in seems rigged), out west our vote means very little nationally, and provincially they seem to have a bit of craziness perpetually running through them.

But I digress.... I want to reflect upon 2009 for a moment. It seems in my own personal sphere of friends and family, that it has been an uncommonly difficult year. Nobody is doing any drastic moves these days, and everyone is watching their pennies and minding their Ps and Qs around their employment. As a society we seem to have lowered our expectations in a lot of areas -- and that is not entirely a bad thing after years and years of expecting to get it all the way we want it.

I see more veggie plots in yards, more laundry lines, and less sneering at my second-hand clothing. The fact that we went and got a "new-to-us" car is going against the grain (even though it was long overdue). Suddenly the things I love to do are making sense, getting by without, saving for a rainy day, living with less, cooking at home, and I am finally not the only party pooper!

At the risk of tempting fate, I want to toot my own horn here for a minute. I think perhaps my frugal choices -- that lifestyle that seemed to be "too darned cheap" before -- has protected us from a great deal of disappointment. Thankfully my husband and I are on the same page on these things and he trusts me. We owe nothing except our mortgage. It can be excruciatingly tight sometimes, but that is much more comfortable than over-extending ourselves. And we have been living on less than 2 full time paycheques for over a decade. We used to look at those others that had everything and be jealous, now we are relieved that we didn't listen to the siren's song, because we have avoided the jagged rocks that are drowning those other families now. All the nice trappings of that sparkly life are hard to live without once you have had them, especially if you still feel you "deserve" them.

2009 has been an eye opener for me. And I know I am not the only one.

Is it wrong that I am a little happier with this new way of thinking? I have long believed that we want too much too fast and don't give enough concern over the consequences of disposable appliances, cheap crappy toys and one-use dusters.

My focus has changed in some ways too. I want my sons to succeed as much as I ever have, but now my definition of success is shifting. Good work ethic, a gainful skill that they can develop and enjoy using, kindness and integrity make successful human beings, not their grades at school. At least that's what I keep hoping. I am willing to nurture these paths to success where I can. And I am living by example there. My own path for my family... though I did quite well in school my income is very small... Realistically, a bigger paycheck would not make me a more successful parent right now, nor a more successful wife, and that is what I want to be at this point in my life. It doesn't hurt that I have come to the sobering conclusion that my boys are not going to ever think of school the way I did, and grades will never be a good-enough reward for them to excel there. Maybe if I made it my primary focus, I could force them to study every waking moment so they can get "good grades", but then I am not sure the lesson I would be teaching them would be ultimately constructive to their adult development. But really, I don't know anything, I am blindly fumbling along here with this parenting thing! So that hasn't changed!

Another thing that changed. My desire to acquire is way down. In fact the suffocation of myself with my crap is just getting more and more intense, and it needs to calm down and lighten up. I must declutter more aggressively or go mad. But (like an eating disorder), I binge and purge with my stuff.

Speaking of eating..... Thanks to T's gallbladder scare, our diet has improved. It wasn't bad before, but now it is even better. Our portions are smaller and of better quality! That is a change from 2009 that I want to carry on for years to come.

My priorities are still the same as at the beginning of the year. I want to: do right by my sons; work at things I can be proud of; keep soul, house and husband in good order; find time for friends (and myself); live within our means in an environmentally conscious manner; learn about nature at every opportunity; and take the time to enjoy beauty for beauty's sake! If I can do these things then the important stuff is covered for me.... now I can welcome 2010 with open arms.

SANTA IS COMING!

(you may have noticed I moved the tree..... Max and my brother-in-law's dog wrestle too much in the living room, so it was safer to just move it).

No matter how much I grumble about the consumeristic tyranny of the Xmas machine, I still get butterflies in my stomach Christmas Eve Day! Santa is coming! Presents are coming (the stocking is my favourite)! Turkey is coming! Family are coming! As the BIG DAY approaches I find I am second guessing myself. But that is normal, right? Gifts all accounted for? Food all ready? The excitement is not squelched by these insecurities, the kid in me is louder than the paranoid mom!

Just once I think I might like to take the family away for Christmas.... maybe a Caribbean Cruise or something in lieu of the gift giving craziness, but it probably can't happen unless we could take EVERYONE including T's folks and sister's family, because it isn't just about us four, Christmas is about the extended family too.

Speaking of family.....T's sister came by on the 22nd for a brief visit, but I talked them into leaving their 3 kids with us while they did their town errands (including going to the motor vehicle office to renew a driver's license -- how fun would that be with 3 kids?). They had great fun here and even stayed long enough to get bored.... that's a first! It was great to see them for that long, and I was happy to do something for T's sister for once, they are such genuinely good people.

The big dinner will be relatively small this year, T's sister's brood is at the in-laws, my sister is also at the in-laws, my step dad is in Toronto with his wife's son's family, mom and her husband are up in the Charlotte's as always..... so that leaves us four, T's parents and brother. A dinner of seven just is TINY compared to usual!

I ran around visiting people yesterday, drove down island as far as Duncan to drop off cookies to the friend that I do Christmas bake-sharing with.... her household is having a particularly TIGHT Christmas and was hit very hard by the economic situation. No money for gas even to meet me halfway this year. We are the same age (we took some of the same classes in college) and our lives got taken on drastically different courses! On paper they are very similar... college, marriage kids, mortgage, but the reality is drastically affected by the spouses we have. It puts into relief how thankful I am that T did not lose his job in this economy! (knock on wood). I know we are lucky, I know there are so many others that aren't so lucky, and I appreciate every moment of our fortune completely. Survival is possible, but not so easy without a working husband (we have been there before, thankfully, it has been 6 years of steady income). Choices become so much more acute when there is not a free penny of wiggle room. At least this friend of mine was smart enough to chop up the credit card the minute her husband got his pink slip! They can't get into a hole with high interest rates. Their housing is secure at this point, their mortgage is up to date (and not too big to start with), there are no car payments and my friend is skilled at budgeting. BUT her husband is NOT so great and thanks to his loose wallet they have bounced a few bills at the last second! He sees the money in the account and just spends it, he doesn't appreciate that it is needed TOMORROW for the hydro, or the strata fees or phone bill. It doesn't help that he "needs a beer" for the weekends and smokes and REFUSES to give up the cable because he "deserves it". I am ranting now, he thinks his wife is a nag just because she is trying SO HARD to keep house and home together. I think she needs to throw all the bills and expenses at HIM and say "you do it then" and see how long they have a place to live. The problem with lessons like that is that the whole family is screwed then, and it would STILL be her fault because she let him do it! There, the rant is over.

Christmas time seems to highlight strife as much as the good things -- Sad, but true.

On a lighter note:

I have to put out a public THANK YOU to Spider for turning me onto Craigslist. I
have managed to sell some things that still have value, but that I (or my kids)
have outgrown. Sometimes donating things to charity is not that rewarding.... I
have packed things up ever so carefully in sets, only to see these items in the
store separated and mangled (and therefore not as saleable or profitable to the
charity). My new tactic for such things is to put it on Craigslist FIRST, then
if it doesn't go before the listing expires I can pass it on to the charity.
Thanks to this new strategy I have brought in over $100 to spend on Christmas that I would not have had otherwise, and my home is that much lighter!

Sad Thing to Have in Common

I was just over at Amber's Blog and found being a stay home mom is not the only thing we have in common. Her dad passed away in his 40s too.

My dad was a fun guy with a hot head too, in fact my mom claims to have left him because he never took anything "important" seriously and she thought if she left him with his very young daughters that it would force him to grow up (at least that is her excuse for leaving us with a happy alcoholic). He was creative as a carpenter, and near the end of his life finally found success in his business.

I have mostly fond memories growing up with his particular sense of humour and even his very strict-no-nonsense rules. I was just barely 18 when cancer took away my dad on April 13th (a Good Friday) in 1990. He was in his late 40s. I saw him take his last breath, and I felt tremendous relief that his suffering was finally over. I was lucky enough to be able to kiss him goodbye (even though it was just his mortal husk, I knew he wasn't far away yet) and wish him well on his journey and thank him for everything. That's when my life took a rather sudden turn for independence. I realized with crystal clarity that I had to make my own way. And when I crashed my car and my step mom was completely terrible about it 3 weeks later, and the bad crap that happened immediately after (I found myself homeless and car less a month before graduation). I really felt very, very, very alone, even as my friends tried to comfort me. But I kept going to school, I kept going to work, I kept my plans for moving to this college town and I had to plan it without any financial support from my dad (nor from his widow thanks to her iron clad financial grip on his estate).

But I made it, reached every goal I have set (in time) and have done it with my resolve and the support of my husband. I have not had to make contact with the step-mom since leaving town, and I think she must be fine with that because she has never looked for me. She married my dad, but we were a package deal, being our step mom was time-served for her I guess. I hope she is happy with that, I am simply disappointed that we meant so little.

I feel worse for my little sister though. She had a hard time with Dad's strict rules, and so had "run away" to live with mom shortly before he was diagnosed with cancer. It was hard on me having her gone to a different town, but it must have been a terrible burden on her to know her daddy was dying and she couldn't be there. (Our step-mom had a cruel habit of answering the phone and saying dad was too busy to talk to her, and telling my sister not to visit because he didn't need 2 teenage girls sapping his strength -- then never telling dad that she called!) My sister did not leave on good terms with our dad, and I don't think she was able to resolve that before he died. (I know in my heart that he loved her with all his heart no matter what was left unsaid).

She tried to contact our step-mom about 10 years ago... she found out where she lived and knocked on the door. SM opened the door a crack, "Oh, Cheryl. Now is not a good time, could you come back later?" Not the response my sister was expecting, and just so we are clear, my sister's name is NOT "Cheryl"!!!! The woman took care of us for 8 years of our childhood and couldn't remember the right names? How surreal is that?! Needless to say neither of us has tried to find her since. But we hear rumour that she remarried and moved up North (and divorced again too). We wonder what happened to our dad's things, family photos and mostly we wonder what happened to his remains (we know his ashes were in an urn with her).

It has now been longer without my dad than it was with him. In fact I have known my husband now longer than I knew my dad, and that feels really really weird. I still miss him every day and have so many unanswered questions and wistful thoughts about whether he would have liked my husband and how he would have loved being a Grandpa, or if he even would have approved of my career choice (he discouraged art as a career -- starving artist and all).

After dad died, I took a brown work shirt of his (and a Christmas ornament.)
So Amber, how is that for a coincidence?

2009 unfinished

Do YOU ever fall behind on projects?

(Rhetorical question, I know everyone does)

I am trying to put together some family pictures for a digital frame that I got my mother-In-Law for Christmas 2008! I thought I was joking when I told her she could actually use it "next year".............. whoa is me.

And then there are the Christmas porcelains that I got last summer with plans to paint before Christmas, just 2 tiny ornaments.... (at least I got the base coat on)...... What is it about Christmas that puts the pressure on like this? Baking, cards, gifts, decorations, crafts, preparations for New Years.... it's so much!

I REALLY thought the laundry room would get finished in 2008, and the overall house clutter is still terrible though I cut and cull and donate regularly. Why is it that consumerism is rampant in this house and we don't even go to malls?

I also desperately wanted to start sewing again in 2009, but I am not sure I can even remember how to thread my machine. Besides, the table I wanted to sew at in my office is covered with unwrapped Christmas presents. And I wanted to go to the drop-in pottery studio on Thursdays, the fee is reasonable and it's during school hours so I could go guilt free... somehow I just never made it there this year -- clay is fun and a great stress manager.

Oh and then there are my business projects: the biggest and baddest procrastination being my (gulp) bookkeeping. (I can hear the finger wagging from here, Jeff) And a couple other projects that just seem to always get pushed to the back of the pile.

On the bright side, I have fullfilled some of my 2009 wishes.

Firstly and most importantly I saw more of my friends this year, albeit Tai had to do most of the reaching out, I still made sure I was available when she called, and I did get to her place and take her out for one fun event. There was the tragic loss that brought us 4 highschool friends together too... a terrible excuse to meet, but we did indeed meet and that is so precious.

Secondly we replaced the aging, cramped truck and the rusty Golf in 2009. Even better, we did it without going into hock. Of course our emergency fund is nearly zero, so I am not sure how I can save up enough to go to England next Spring-- I will go on credit if I must -- T EVEN TOLD ME SO!!! (revelation!)

The bedroom floor was replaced, and T now thinks cork is the best flooring medium ever invented (he was very resistant to it when I first suggested it). It wasn't on the 2009 list, but it was on the "one day" list.

I musn't forget about the runaway success of the veggie plot! That is something I am very proud of!

And I managed to find a way to have an online portfolio that I could actually manage! (Unlike that stupid website that I let break and couldn't fix on my own.... bah)

Moving forward, how do I make 2010 more successful? Well I am NOT waiting for the New Year Eve to start, I will accept my unfinished projects from 2009, and move forward.

First things first, I must get this digital frame loaded ASAP!
Secondly, that wayward package design needs to be done by the 23rd.
Thirdly, the sewing table will be cleared by New Years Eve, and the sewing machine put on it!
Next the bookkeeping will be caught up by Jan 30th (I will have Jeff on speed-dial just in case). But you know, I think the ornaments can wait to be painted without guilt, and the laundry room can wait until I have returned from England at least. We have a few vehicles to sell, the VW Diesel Golf, my adorable VW Cabriolet, T's street bike, they are all slated to find new owners by the end of Spring (no hurry).

So what have YOU left unfinished in 2009? I'm curious.

Added Enjoyment

The new car is fantastic.

It's funny, we are so used to driving the simple, unrefined, older VW Golf, that even this rather basic BMW seems like TOO MUCH. I feel like a poser driving in this shiny, understated elegance. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the sensation of driving the Beemer, in all it's shiny german beauty, and there is nothing wrong with being seen in it (unlike the rather sad looking Golf) -- I have to take this less seriously -- after all, the BMW, like the VW is just a CAR, a 7 year old one at that! The Golf was the model of practicality and economy, which must be why it has been our main family transport for 7 reliable years. Very hard to say goodbye to such a good thing, but like a fine old pet, it's time has come too soon. The rust has spread to structural places, even if it's engine an transmission are rock-solid!

So why do I feel more anxiety with this newest ride than I have with any other car.... (and I have owned many, many cars, I lost track around 15 in my name, and can't even imagine counting all the ones T has had even since we have been together)? We are self-admitted tire kicking iron junkies. We LOVE the automobile and aren't too snobby about brand loyalty.

We did do a ton of research, checked out everything in our price range and crossed almost all domestics off the list (sorry big 3, it's nothing personal) they just didn't fit us very well, and the consumer satisfaction has been appalling for some time. Then we had to cross our favourites off the list too. For example, by the time the VW Jetta TDI wagon was in our price range it was within a few years as old as our Golf, OR quite worked over! So dumping that much money in something already worn out seemed really stupid. There was a Mazda wagon that was really fun to drive and a nice size, but consumer ratings said they had some consistant issues and the zoom-zoom comes with some gas consumption for sure. We liked the idea of having a Toyota this time, (another practical ride) but Steve HATED sitting in the back of the Matrix, and we just found it kind of boring..... really it was a serious contender and there were a lot for sale to choose from, each rejected on technicalities (too many kms on it, too bad it's an automatic, the wheels are too plain, what a boring colour, etc, etc). To us this is a lot of money that we spent years saving up... we were gonna reserve the right to be picky.

Then I saw the ad for this BMW. (I copied and pasted it into the last post). Talk about NOT what we were planning! Not rugged, not any good whatever for the dog, not cheap to run nor to maintain!! BUT it has something very sexy and exciting that we really have been longing for. So what the heck, it's only money, it's only a car! All the anxiety that this ride has caused me thusfar with being afraid I bought it in a moment of passion instead of using my head.... it fills me with a strange longing and worry. Like dating someone that you beleive is too handsome to be genuinely faithful. I am terrified that I don't deserve this car, it will be somehow ruined by me, or destroy my family over my obsessive protectiveness!!! And then even as I realize I am feeling this way, I say to myself.... it's only a CAR, it wasn't even the most expensive thing we looked at, it was LESS than the CHEAPEST new car on the market. R-E-L-A-X !!!

breathe breathe breathe. It's just so pretty, and I love it.

(Now we must sell the reliable old Golf -- $1500 should be reasonable, and the fantastically fun and whimsical Cabriolet I got this summer may find herself sitting alone)

NEWS FLASH!!!

2003 BMW 320I. 104 Kilometers, 5 speed Manual, heated leather seats, power options, sunroof, alloy wheels, 4 door sedan. This car has nothing wrong with it, it has been an amazing car. Very well maintained.

And it's ALL MINE!!!!!!

moooahahaha!

It's been a while

Sorry it's been so long since I have posted anything. I think about it daily, but somehow the day runs out before I get to it.

It's been all ups and downs lately (as always)...

There is the stress surrounding the kids and their individual challenges (report cards were NOT acceptable this term). In fact the reports were so ugly that I feel utterly like a failure as a parent -- academically. At least the teachers both said my children are pleasant boys and stay out of trouble!

Steve with his teeth. The surgery was yesterday. They asked me to be there with him at 3:00. At 4:30 I asked when we might actually get in to see the doctor, at 4:45 he finally went in and by 5:15 the tooth was out and he has an ugly knot of stitches there instead and I had a whopping bill to deal with. Then we had to rush to the dentist's (she needs the tooth to make the bridge), then rush out to the pharmacy to get the 3 prescriptions filled. Pain reducer/anti-inflamitory, antibiotics, and a freakin' expensive mouthwash. He woke in the middle of the night with pain, so the medication seems to be necessary at this point! Ten days from now he will be fitted for the bridge so long as the healing goes well. It would have been SIMPLER if they had never tried to reinsert the tooth last June. Oh well, what's done is done. Forward we must go. (I have pictures, but you may not want to see them)

Earlier yesterday I took the dog for a walk somewhere different (the sun doesn't come into our valley until late on these short winter days). And on our walk in the chilly sunshine, I spotted smoke off the trail. I went to investigate and it was a leftover campfire built at the base of a cedar tree. The embers had sunk into the roots and duff and were being very effective at smoldering and roasting the roots, and under the ground nearby! I stomped and kicked and worked at it for about 30 minutes digging with my boots and trying to collapse the underground fire... I am sad to say, I don't think I did too much, everything I tried to smother it with was more fuel. It's been COLD here, but also DRY, so I did the next logical thing and took my bearings from the sun and tromped straight into the bush towards our new fire hall. It must have been funny seeing me come out of the frozen undergrowth with twigs in my hair, covered with ash and soot while I waved down the firemen that were about to leave. I told them where the fire was as best I could.... "a kilometer THAT way, between the tracks and the trail, not on the highway side, not as far as the powerlines, but past the overpass." The forest canopy was doing a very effective job of dispersing the smoke, so I have my doubts that they could see it easily. But at least I did my duty and reported the fire.

And the Christmas tree hunting this weekend at the u-cut tree farm was a success! It fell over half way through decorating (we HAVE to get a better stand!!!!) but nothing broke that a little super-glue couldn't fix. And you will note from this picture.... The dressers are moved back into the bedroom! I have my Living room back!

Most of my shopping is done, the cards are sent, and the wrapping is done as I go, so I feel good there. I had grand intentions of making stuff this holiday, but I think if I get any baking done, that will have to be enough!

I mucked out the laundry room for the millionth time so that I could turn the heat on in there for the first time this season.... brrr it was cold! So now it is warmer AND you can see the floor.... oooooh-aaaaah.

Work is coming in a trickle, but it's still coming! This summer a longtime client of mine switched from me to the in-house designer at the sign shop he was dealing with (to streamline production). It is a valid reason and I let him go without any grudges. Well this month he called me rather sheepishly. He didn't like the designs being done and neither did his customers, so it was hurting his business. Would I please do designs for him again? Of course! And now, in 2 weeks I have done 8 more signs, a little money I would not have had otherwise! -- GOOD THING TOO BECAUSE I SPENT WAY TOO MUCH ON MY HUSBAND THIS YEAR!

We went to Gabriola Island for T's neice's birthday. The weather was nice and we got home long before dark. The dog was amazingly good staying outside, and the neice liked her presents.... a very successful family outing all round!

Oh and the car hunting continues. We thought we had found the deal of a lifetime on a Subaru Forester from one of T's coworkers, but the cost and effort of replacing the engine it needs will simply not be such a good deal even with T doing the labour. But all is not lost, we have tracked down a couple leads; a sweeeet 325i BMW sedan (not dog friendly at all, but OH SO NICE), and a VW TDI wagon that is not as nice, but more practical in every way (without being boring either). And sure enough both of them are silver.... but somehow silver on a german car doesn't bother me at all!

oh ya, and an icky thing.... my cat had a HUGE tick a couple days ago, I mean H-U-G-E! I thought it was a massive skin tag and realized with horror that it was indeed a parasite! EEEEWWWWWW, I am not good at killing things, even those sorts of things, but I did it. I carefully placed the tweezers at the base (like the internet tells you too) and slowly pulled hoping to coax the nasty beast out of my cat's shoulder. I won't go into details, but that technique failed miserably, and the head is still there. (I think I threw up justy a little bit in my mouth there). Good new is it doesn't seem to affect my cat at all, but trying to hold her still for the procedure was extremely hard!!!!!!

I feel like I am forgetting so much here..... but let me leave you with a fantastic link. This music is so wonderful and I am proud to say my best friend is married to the composer!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Sx_6reFs2Y

Because you asked...

Spider requested progress photos on my bedroom floor..... well, there was no way I was taking a picture of the carpet in (beige with 10 years of high traffic abuse)! But here are the progress pics thusfar. All the tiles are installed that didn't need to be trimmed.

You can see what my weekedn was all about. Ripping up carpet, prying off trim and tack strips, pulling underlay staples out of the subfloor, going to the dump, and helping with the tiles.

We had to put the bed back in (even though the edges aren't done) because there is nowhere else to set it up!

Still Here

I was so hoping for something meaningful and insightful for this post, but my brain isn't there right now... wish me luck. There is nothing profound to report in my household (and that is a blessing really).

I want to get the Christmas cards out this week. I love getting cards, so I better love sending them too! Especially time is of the essence for the ones to England.... I am still planning 100% to go there in the Spring and see my grandma's cousin and one friend that moved there (who now has KIDS that I've never met). I fantastic development is that my sister's husband has backed out of the idea of coming along with her kids! He did the math and it was terribly prohibitive to have 4 people go there for 2 weeks (especially when their daughter is too young to even remember it for long)... very good news for me and my sister, now we can go back to the original plan of 10 days, only night of which is at a cottage B&B somewhere pretty, while the rest are couch surfing with my friend and relative.

The Christmas shopping is somewhat under control... of course I cannot divulge details here, but my sister and mother are the only real super-challenges (what do you get people that get what they want as they want it?).

Less fun, school is painful and uncomfortable to my boys in a way that breaks my heart.... after all I liked school for the most part, and thrilled at the challenge of getting better grades. My boys just aren't getting that. And they think they have a better idea of what to do with their time than doing what the teacher is asking them to do (poor teachers are quite powerless against the wills of modern children). As a result they do not enjoy the lessons, and then fall behind on the related assignments and then conveniently don't tell me that anything is amiss.

Sigh.... I am not sure if it's my job to FORCE them to do it (very painful and terrible for me and them) or to let them learn from their own mistakes through missed opportunities and lowered expectations (more painful to them, and one heck of an ego-destroyer). On the bright side, they are GOOD boys and friendly and bright in the subjects that interest them.

Other than school, the bedroom reno is painfully slow. I ripped up part of the carpet and now my back is really hating me right now. It's cursing at me, poking and pinching me and generally being really unpleasant to be with.

T is stuck in the garage working on the neighbour's car, and has a freelance hydraulics job waiting on his bench too. It means extra money for Christmas, but less "free time" to work on the bedroom! Meanwhile the house is still chaotic, and I am still frustrated by that.

you know, I almost need a ruthless third party to come in and help. Maybe I should ask for a professional organizer for Christmas!?

The house was packed to remember my friend's dad. There must have been 700 people there to pay their respects to this fine man that meant so much to my own childhood. The friend standing beside me during the service said it very well. "He made me feel valuable", she said. That's it exactly, he had a gift for making a person feel truly valuable, not just to him, but to the whole world! I have so much more that I could say about him, but suffice it to say that all of the speakers were talking about the same man that I knew, and that was a wonderful, wonderful thing! It was enough to make me cry (again and again).

About the memorial itself, the presentation (both static and moving) was phenomenal! The bereaved friend's husband was invaluable to setting up the stage, and visual and auditory aspects of the service. They had the rare and valuable option of using actual recordings of Mr.B playing the piano (and he was really amazing at that too). It was haunting to hear that familiar sound, but also infinitely comforting that it was not lost forever. It felt like he really was there watching over the event, no doubt smiling and commenting on all the familiar faces and happy associations. It was an army of people that put this event together... all happy to help for the memory of this fine citizen. How wonderful to have known him!

.....

I think I need another little cry for my friend's loss of her dad, my mother-rolemodel's loss of a husband, and the world's loss of a really good person.... lots more can be said... but not here...

....

This and That

Along with the grief and reflexion that has been on the forefront of my mind these days, I have had to stay in the present with keeping up with housework, satisfying clients, caring for kids (and dog) and I have been asked to think of the near future with making solid commitments around Christmas.

And mixed in with all that stuff has been my book idea. I lie in bed thinking about it.... if I could type while laying there, I'd probably be halfway done! As it is I have a whopping 9 pages... not too impressive. But also whilst waiting for sleep to come, I thought of another (much smaller) book aimed at the 8-12 year old group. This one is more of the escape/fantasy/adventure genre, and would probably be best for girls (no princesses appear, but it could still work).

I am way over my head for ideas.

Christmas is looming, and there are many youngin's on my shopping list! And the grown ups are even more challenging!

And then there are the unfinished projects that MUST be finished before the tree goes up.... my dressers are in the living room right now. Thanks to the Thanksgiving Sale at a local flooring place last month, we purchased cork flooring for the master bedroom! And then got paint. So all but the bed went out to the living room, and the bed got shoved out to the middle of the room and the paint made it on the walls over the course of a couple weeks --a neutral, warm grey kind of colour. And the paint went on so well that we had lots left over, so I painted Stevie's room too (now its no longer a vibrant lime/chartreuse), it looks much more grown up for his approaching teens. The thing is, I don't know how to install the flooring myself (lots of cutting around closets, sliding doors and passage doors), and T has been SO BUSY with other things, so the dressers are just hanging out in the living room indefinitely, and the flooring stays stacked in the foyer. But it really should be done before Christmas, in fact it really HAS to be. I think I may have to call in my stepdad, or pay my carpenter neighbour (the carpenter brother-in-law is too busy these days). It's weird having to go to the living room to get my clothes in the morning.... but on the other hand having a sparse bedroom has been very soothing.

And the car-hunt continues. We just could not get excited about spending SO MUCH MONEY on that grey econo-box, no matter how shiny and new it was. We are holding out for something more interesting, even if it's older and with more miles on it. Maybe an Audi, a VW Passat or a BMW!!!! There are candidates on the web-classifieds, but they are all significantly out of town and would involve an entire day of coordinating and travelling to go look at. WHO HAS TIME FOR THAT?! Meanwhile the reliable little Golf keeps getting us where we want to go cheaply, and we just try to ignore the saggy headliner, and all the rattles and squeaks, and the ugly rust on the wheel wells.... by exercising patience we have more money to spend when we find the right car.

So now I better do some more of those things that must be done... there is dinner to think about, laundry to put away, sweeping to do, bathrooms that need a good scrubbing, and a story that's not going to write itself!!! (Oh ya, I guess I should do some work too).

Positive Influence

It has been a hard couple of days....

Someone that was a very positive role model in my childhood has passed away suddenly. Tears are close to the surface at every moment right now.

This man was my best friend's dad.

I spent every moment I could at their house between the ages of 9 and 14 years old! I would walk over there by 7:30 am and greet my friend as she started her day. Even at that hour, her mom was always good to me. And I would walk home with my bestest friend after school and stay until I HAD to go home at 4:30 every afternoon. I would take sleepovers every chance I could and spent most daylight weekend hours there too. The house rules were strictly enforced, but fair, and good times were easy with good company. They tolerated a lot from me, but I can honestly say I think I have become a better person through their influence. Bless them, I never felt I had overstayed my welcome!!!!

Their home was much cheerier than mine -- and I'm not just talking about light and decor -- the whole aura of the place was happier than the unstable place I was being raised in. Nobody yelled, nobody cussed, nobody drank, nobody fought, the house was never cold nor unfriendly. The Mom was taking care of house and home, the Dad was working at (what appeared to me) a job he got joy from, and the house had music and dancing and home-cooked meals and all the things we want when we are kids. Later in life, when I was having a severe bout of depression and a parenting-identity crisis, my councellor asked where my parenting ideals came from. I discovered that I was trying to be my friend's mom, and wanted my husband to be like my friend's dad. That was a healing revelation, and I got so much better after that! I had a clearer picture of what I wanted to be instead of the muddled, angry, inconsistent images of my mom and step-mom.

But I get off track. The man who is gone was loved by the community, loved by his family and loved by anyone who was fortunate enough to spend a few cheery occassions with him.

So this Remembrance Day I took a drive North, and remembered a man that was good to me when I needed it. A man that raised one of my favourite people in the whole world. I played dolls with his granddaughter (who is three) and thought how wonderful it is that he got to meet her, I hugged his wife (the mom I admire) so hard that I thought I could squeeze the very ache of our hearts, and I cried in the arms of my friend to wash some of the pain together. It's not enough, I could do that for a month and it wouldn't be enough, but it's a start.

Art of the Cocktail

Finally I found a fantastic iron-clad reason to socialize with my darling friend in Vic and treat her to something different at the same time!

I have a client that is a bar supplies retailer, and he was a sponsor to the event which is the very first Art of the Cocktail based on a New Orleans event. Recipes, products and lectures all around the theme of high-end cocktails and mixology for 3 days (but I only went to a sliver of it -- Sunday's tasting).

You know what? It was really alright!

I LOVED getting to spend some time with my beautiful friend and I can't think of anyone I would rather share that event with! She oozes sophistication and learnedness at this sort of thing (I admit "oozes" and "sophistication" are not very good together, but you get the idea, right?). I felt smarter, just being near her at the supreme-grade vodka tables! There was also a "mix-off", kind of like an iron-chef contest where the contestants had a short time frame to come up with something delicious featuring the theme and secret ingredient. The theme was Pacific Northwest and the ingredient that had to be used was CEDAR! What a challenge (firstly because it's not really a food, secondly because it's not even usually a garnish)!

There were seven contestants and they all came up with something amazingly different and complex. The MC of the even was The Thirsty Traveler, host, Kevin Brauch, (Thirsty Traveller is "a weekly journey into the heart of the world's greatest wine, beer, and spirit producing regions" according to Wiki). He is an animated host! And my darling friend (the smart pretty connoisseur ) recognized him at once! She was uncharacteristically shy, so I poked him on the shoulder to say "hi" and he just reached around and did a GRIP AND GRIN almost faster than I could get the button pressed! Poor dear was taken by surprise and there was no chance for a better pic (sorry).

We had fun despite unflattering photos and carried on to enjoy the tastings and the seminars (and the excellent company!).

At the end of the event the volunteers gave is a ride home. Then I hang out at her place until I had thoroughly recovered from the tasting. Then I made for home.... I tell you what 7pm on a Sunday is an AMAZING time to drive over the Malahat! The weather was great and I felt like I practically had the highway to myself up to Mill Bay (good thing too, because that stretch of road can make me so nervous).

I was home in time to see some TV with the family before bed. All good!

Buried in Grime

This house has become unbearable!!! SERIOUSLY!

There is nowhere for me to put my eyes EXCEPT the computer screen in this house, that is not chaotic and dirty and I am so fed up with it. I actually closed my eyes in despair and futility when I was searching for a slip of paper in the family room

The truly depressing part is that we do clean ALL the time. T vacuums and sweeps every single day (sometimes twice). He also thoroughly cleans the kitchen after every dinner, and tries to keep the boys picking up their toys. The bathrooms get a once over every weekend and I do a load (or 3) of laundry almost daily.

For example.... I vacuumed the entrance just before heading upstairs to make dinner and RIGHT NOW (less than 2 hours later) my dutiful husband is sweeping in there, and getting LOTS of hair and dirt for his efforts.

Oh I am not sure how much longer I can take it.... how much effort is expected to keep some standard better than gross??? Some level of surface maintenance that doesn't make you want to keep shoes on?!

The d-o-g is the primary offender here. I know it's true. Sure the cat is fuzzy, but her contribution is undetectable compared to the hair explosion that comes off the canine. The boys leave dirty socks and TOYS TOYS TOYS everywhere in the house, and toothpaste and overspray in the bathroom, and the yard is a mess (a whole other rant).... knowing its just as bad outside, it adds to the frustration to be sure.

I am no neat freak, but I am really resenting the endless dog hair in every nook and cranny, in my bathwater, in the cupboards, under every bit of furniture and drifting onto every flat surface..... then there is the grit too, surprising quantities of it downstairs and a large amount of it somehow gets upstairs too. I'm at my wit's end with it and sometimes regret getting this friendly, well behaved beast.

Add the piles of paper, the little pointy toys that sneak underfoot, the overflowing cupboards and closets, the nasty disarray on every surface....

Right now, I hate it. I never feel like I can catch up let alone maintain my level of comfortable cleanliness, I don't know what I am doing wrong... maybe I need to have an attitude adjustment and just EXPECT that cleaning will be a major chunk of my day (all day) and/or learn to embrace the organic aspects of dog ownership even as I pull the stray hairs out of my toothpaste cap in the evening? (the dog isn't even allowed in the bedrooms, how the hell does dog hair end up in the en suite?!)

sPOOKTACULAR hALLOWEEN

The boy-ninjas next to their own jack-o-lantern creations....

It was a rare treat to have the dry evening for trick-or-treating, they made the best of it and brought in quite a haul of loot.

This one is for Amber

In honour of your recent bicycle post.... here are some photos I took in Italy, where cycling is still a major mode of transportation down the ancient cobblestone streets and alleyways:

Of course, it didn't rain a whole lot while I was there, and there are so many cyclists that there is safety in numbers for motorist awareness, so it's not the same as rolling around the lower mainland.... pretty though!

I have an idea!

It's never happened to me before, I have come up with an idea for a novel. I woke up with a dream, and in that one small scene of my dream, a full-fledged novel exists! It was all there, the set up, the vivid details and what would come next. An entire world, and it is waiting for me to write it down.

I am the first to admit, I am not a writer. So is it doomed from the start? Short stories at most seem to come out.... could I do a whole novel? Could I commit to writing it all out of my head, even if only for my own exploration? (I don't want to imply that I have a writer's training, and I don't want to belittle the education, drive and commitment required. But I think I may have to try to write this down!)

LOL. I tried to write the scene I dreamed down before I had woke all the way.... the images, dialogue and nuances came out so fast that I couldn't keep up. It was like trying to hold water in my hands. But I think I caught enough to fill it out.... I am excited!

Kimber.... I am starting to appreciate just how brave you are... deciding to tell a story, it's almost like deciding to get a puppy, there is a huge time commitment, messiness and discipline in the foreseeable future if there is any hope of it turning out, and of course the responsibility for what gets left behind in public.

And now I am looking at this entry thinking "gaad, I have enough on my plate, if I post this, then I have added somehting else." So please, don't hold me to this project. I am excited by it and I am scared of it too. Before I offer up this dream to add to the billions of other works out there, I want to be free of pressure (especially my own).

Caught in the Act

Look at that!!!! He was being goofy, but little did he know I brought me camera!!!! (I got punched in the arm for it... so I decided to put it on the world wide web, just 'cuz. Doesn't he look "graceful" !!!LOL!!!

We have a tough decision to make right away about his teeth... there has been a complication with the front tooth that was knocked out.... ankylosis (ang-kil-LO-sis). It means the bones of his head have fused with his tooth... not good as the tooths is supposed to be attached by a ligament, NOT bone! The side effects are a nasty lopsidedness to his smile as he grows and the tooth will stay dead no matter what.

To quote a medical text I found online: "Possible treatments: Early extraction followed by a series of transitional prostheses or crown amputation. These treatments have variable morbidity and unproven long-term benefit. Decoronation (which leaves the ankylosed root in situ to be consumed by replacement resorption) has been proposed to minimize ridge resorption and reduce the need for bone grafting before prosthetic treatment. (!!!!! BONE GRAFTING!!!???) However, the impact of decoronation on the need for eventual alveolar grafting or on the quality of bone that may receive an implant has not been demonstrated. The choice of treatment depends on the severity of infraocclusion and replacement resorption, the preference and experience of the clinician and patient expectations. The effects of ankylosis extend well beyond the original dental injury and vary with the age of the patient. Oral rehabilitation entails an ongoing investment of time, money and resources and a number of treatment options with no predictable long-term outcomes. "

None of it is good news for his smile.

An illustration of what dental ankylosis is...

And what it could look like in just 4 years....

Or is this any better until they can put the fake tooth in (as a grown up)

It's all so horrible... I look at the dental publications and it's just not an easy thing no matter what..... I keep having to repeat "it could be worse, it could be worse, it could be so much worse"....

Turkey, Ham and Three Dirtbikes to ride

What a great weekend!

Saturday was the big Thanksgiving Turkey dinner at my lovely mother in law's. It was a pot-luck in that everyone brought something to complete the meal. I brought the glazed yam medallions and the brussell sprouts (my favourite!), my sister in law's family brought potato buns, a delicious green salad and some mashed potatoes, my father in law brought the turkey, stuffing and a carrot/squash puree that was surprisingly yummy, and my mother in law provided apple AND pumpkin pies and of course the venue for 11 guests! (And that is an accomplishment in itself as her place is on the petite side). Everything was fantastic! T's entire family is great at cooking, so any event with them is sure to be a culinary delight... I'm not kidding, even traditional foods are done with flavour and interest!

Sunday morning me, T and the boys all loaded into the truck and went out for a dirt bike ride at a local coal pit. (lots of pictures in past posts) It was terrific fun! I started off on my bike, then I tried Steve's bike (hilariously small, but really powerful and zippy), I laugh out loud the whole time bouncing around up and over whoops and stuff.

Then I rode my husband's trials' bike. Man, that thing is a good time! I have to concentrate with all of my being to get it going, and there is no seat, so everything I know about gripping with my thighs and sitting back to prevent twisting the throttle accidentally is completely useless! So the first thing I did was grab the throttle too hard and take off like a shot!!!!
I have no idea how I managed to NOT do a wheelie -- but I didn't -- and there was enough room in front of me to calm down and release my grip to slow down before hurting anything (or myself). My wonderful husband (bless his soul) thought that I took off like that on purpose. After the initial OMG moment, I got the hang of the extremely sensitive controls and really had fun standing up, riding around and cautiously exploring the phenomenal traction and maneuverability of it. My skill level is a JOKE for what that machine is capable of... but I want to ride it a lot more, it was just a joy to be on such an amazing bike.

While I was scaring myself and still loving my husband's ride, my darling Stevie had taken MY bike out for a spin! O man, he loved it! It looks huge on him, but he CAN tippy-toe off to the side to touch the ground, and launch himself forward to get going, and after he is going, look out! He knows what to do! He did dump it once (but I didn't see it). He took my bike in places I dare not go, so he was obviously comfortable.

Cami was his usual dare-devil, pit riding self, I barely saw him the whole time, except when he would ride up all flushed and dirty and blow me a kiss and give me the thumbs up before taking off in a cloud of black dust again!

Once I got my bike back, I rode around for another hour or so, really feeling wobbly in the knees with all the standing that has to be done on such uneven terrain. It was exhausting and exhilarating, and it felt so good to be out with the family having fun. (And the dog had the time of his life running up and down and back and forth and chasing sticks).

After coming home and washing up, the family headed out for Thanksgiving dinner #2, a HAM dinner at my Step dad's. It was a good ham too, with mixed vegetables with cheese sauce, potatoes au gratin, and a mandarin pecan and goat cheese salad. Mmmmmm... two amazing feasts in a row! A nice long soak in their hot tub made the evening complete.

2009 Thanksgiving weekend is now history, but I can honestly say it was yet another thing to be thankful about..... of course my legs are so sore that I can barely walk right now, but I am thankful for that too!

Weirdness

My dreams have physically threatening lately.

Nothing like being hunted down in the snow before having a bonfire lit on top of you to mess up your head for a bit. Thankfully in the dream most of my body was somewhat protected in a hollow in the snow, just my foot burned alive while my captures revelled in my defeat-- pun intended. On the bright side I think my capture helped my partner escape! So the rescue remained a possibility.

Pain seems to be the theme, rarely self-inflicted (I think that may be a positive thing), but always some outside force out to get me. In the dreams I am not myself, and the threat is not new or surprising, as if leaping from rooftop to rooftop to escape the arrows and spears was something I normally dealt with! Or how about being a house slave to a larger alien race, and working towards my freedom by displaying a mechanical aptitude for my master and being prudently very quiet (and invisible) to save my hide around other large aliens.

There is the usual "I'm late and lost" dream. Only a mean twist added that my life and the lives of my friends depend on my punctuality! I'm riding the elevator up in the hospital only to get out on the wrong floor and being poked with needles... then escaping in a paper gown to look for someone's room and slipping down the escalator on the balls of my feet.

Then there was the one about being in a proper business lunch meeting and then slipping out to go to the bank machine and getting chased down by a car and having to smash through a window to escape.

Being on vacation and getting separated from my friends, following a garden path, climbing hundreds of stairs to a rickety scaffold system on a historical and scenic cliff face, and as the weight of all the tourists starts to make it collapse, none of us can get off, or get back as hundreds more people are still pressing to get ON! As it falls, the weight of all the other men, women and children force me into the wire fencing, cutting into me and crushing the breath out of me as I see the ground rapidly getting closer.....

Those are the ones I remember. I can't tell what my subconcious is trying to say! But I am waking frequently.

AHA! Reading all these things together I'd say I need to set some time aside to watch a few action movies (or maybe I am watching too many?)

It's Hard to Explain

I haven't been feeling quite right today. Not really sick, just not right.
Kind of "off" or soemthing. And my language skills are really wonky today too. More wonky than yesterday, like the language is just temporarily leaving me or something. So pardon me if I am not making sense.

Good news is I am almost done 2 major work projects, so my ability to communicate can take a little break. More good news is that it's the Thanksgiving long weekend, so I have 3 days to rest my typing fingers, and eat way too much if I want.

What's up? I am not sure. But I think I will ponder my thick tongue with a large glass of red wine now.... in a quiet dark room if I can manage to slip away to that.

It's just gotta go

The decluttering is going on at a furious pace. Another season of hot weather is just a memory, so I went through the summer shoes (again) and got rid of every single pair that I did not wear this Summer! That make five more pairs of shoes OUT OF HERE!

I also went through the sun hats and found my boys' heads have grown too big for some of them -- OUT!

Packing up their shorts, etc, I found some clothes that are too threadbare or will definitely be too small come next Summer -- OUT!

In MY drawers I found Summer tops that I thought I would wear at the beginning of the season that I did NOT wear -- OUT!

And digging out the winter duds, I found some stuff of the boys' that doesn't fit this year, Including mittens, toques, a couple pull-overs, boots and even a raincoat -- OUT!

Also, T got me a terrific deal on an excellent quality work jacket. So I got rid of TWO mediocre coats that used to do that job.

I am becoming a regular at the Salvation Army drop-off door. I am not stockpiling it, I am getting it out of here entirely before it integrates itself back into the house. Feels good too.

(Don't worry Spider, there is a nice box with your name on it, and a box for little Z too.)

Car Hunting

shhhh.... be verwy verwy qwiet, we're hunting autos!

Car hunting is thrilling for me, I love the search! I love the chase! I love the negotiations!

But I HATE to idea of parting with a lot of money too.

Our old VW is on it's last legs. The engine is terriffic -- BULLETPROOF deisel! --- but as reliable and fantastic on fuel that the engine is, the body is rusting away around it. Not just cosmetically either, there is rust in places that make it unsafe and one day the struts will just come right through! So it is not the best family car anymore. It's given us SEVEN YEARS of flawless service (that is a record for us by about 3 years!), and it is time to look elsewhere.

We have decided that we have the cheap, functional truck and we want a really DECENT car. Something that will still get T to work with nice fuel efficiency,

seat everyone safely,

and be good for long-term

and functional.

So we are looking at late-model, compact, hatchback Japanese cars. Though I am a die-hard german-engineering fan, it is just too much money for too little fuel efficiency for us. (Oh how I thought I would get a BMW this time!) We have test driven all sorts of mini-cars in the last couple weeks and have pretty much decided the Toyota Matrix is the best fit for us. (And yes we tried the Honda Fit, it's the runner-up). Toyota has an extrodinary reputation, and the vehicle itself (though ugly and vanilla) fills every need and then some.

We NEED 4 doors, 5 seatbelts, hatchback space for the dog, fuel efficiency, reliability

We WANT power door locks, cruise, A/C

It would be NICE to have power windows, automatic tranny, mud tray in the back, cupholders (we have NEVER had a car with cupholders, isn't that odd?)

Of course in this range we will be letting go of LOTS of money and giving the government LOTS ot taxes too. What a racket that is. oh well. Lots of people do it. Time to take a chance and drive something NEWER

Bribery in Parenting.

I have a plan.....

It is sneaky and underhanded... and hopefully will work.

My boys have TONNES of toys that they rarely play with anymore. Sure they were loved for a long time and they remember the flush of joy at receiving them. BUT thy are taking up a large amount of space, not leaving room for new experiences (or new toys).

Steve, in particular, is on the cusp of not playing with toys too much anymore. Nerf Guns, Lego and the ocassional playtime with his brother with the hotwheels or micromachines is about it.

Meawhile there are at least THREE BINS of his toys that he still likes but never touches. I am fed up with the mess of it all, so now I have a plan.

That little tank picture at the head of this post is an RC SPY TANK! It has live video feed and microphone to the headset of the person working the tank! Or as they put it...."The Spy Video Vehicle is the first remote-controlled Spy Gear video car to offer audio transmission, full-circle spin control, and tank tracks...". Steve has begged for one since he heard they existed. Today I saw one a the electronics store for about 70% off, which made it still pricey, but manageable.

This is my currency for the bride. I will give him the tank in exchange for the 3 bins of toys.... whatcha think? Is it crazy? Or mean?

(It thought it was nicer than the way my parent's did it. Wait until I was at a sleepover and "clean" my room! Oh the tears! Oh the heartache, I didn't even get to say goodbye! LOL.

************* PS ************

• Mission Successful! Cam unloaded a large quantity right away. Steve was a tougher nut to crack and almost broke down in tears when I told him about the bargain. But after a good night's sleep and closer inspection of his room, he found a LARGE box of stuff to let go of. Not the ones I was thinking he would let go, but the quantity was right.
• Spider- there are some that may go well to your cause, but unless you are still flea marketing, most are a little too well used for much.

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All on Track

Good news! The computer is resuscitated with a new hard drive and they were able to extract all the files off the old one! I am back to work! And the bill wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting either!

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And better news, I don't think it was really H1N1 for Cami. He has loads of snot and a tickle cough, but he hasn't had a fever or nausea or any of the other symptoms that are part of it. In fact, he is as rambunctious as ever and eating and sleeping very well. AND Cam's teacher just called, she missed some school last week with a cold that was just a cold... and she was calling to ask if it had been CONFIRMED that Cam had the H1N1(which it wasn't). Her symptoms are EXACTLY what Cami has, so I am 100% positive he got a COLD from his teacher now. STILL, I called the nurse hotline and they told me to keep him home until he is clear of the mucus, so no school yet.

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My mom is in town! I met her for lunch yesterday with my sister, and that was nice. She can't risk coming to see Cam because her husband just had major surgery on his intestines and a flu may cause complications (even the act of coughing could tear something).... of course the germs are all over this city, so I really wish her luck avoiding taking anything home!


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My office is dust free right now. The result of being FORCED to pull out my PC tower. I have been down in this office for 8+ years, and have gone through a few desk moves and a few computer changes, but looking at the shear VOLUME of cat hair, cobwebs and dust back there you would think it hadn't been cleaned since the turn of the century!





It feels good to have that slopped out.





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I have decided to cut down on the number of socks I have. Did you know I had 2 LARGE drawers dedicated just to socks?!


I LOVE socks, they are an easy way to express yourself cheap and cheerfully. But I read something on UNCLUTTERER that made me think that this may be a bit much. There was a list of questions for determining the perfect amount of something.....

How much space can I commit to storing this type of good?
How much space do I want to commit to storing this type of good?
Will I use all of it before it expires and/or becomes outdated and/or my brand loyalty changes?
Do I have enough (or too much) to get me through to my preferred cleaning schedule? (For example: Do I have enough pairs of socks to last me between laundry days? Am I putting off laundry until it gets out of control because I have too many pairs?)
Do I need or want this item at all?
How much time, money, and energy will I save in the future if I have more than one of these in my space?
What will I do if I run out?
Would having more or less of these items improve my quality of life?

Good questions! And I can honestly say I have committed too much valuable space to SOCKS!

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Another picture challenge:
How many 4-leaf clovers can you see?

Hard Drives and Hard Cases

Two terrible bits of news....

1) My hard drive has some MASTER DISK error and is not starting. I took it to the computer hospital and they were able to recover my documents and photo files (potentially saving my $1000s in contracts!) But the computer itself is messed up. I am at the mercy of the techs and whatever they charge me to get my business running ASAP again!

2) And this is the yucky one; For a couple days Cami's glands have been painfully swollen, but I thought he was getting better. Then Cameron woke with a terrible rattly cough this morning. I took him to the walk-in clinic and (1.5 hours of waiting later) the doctor says it's H1N1!!!! So we are ALL confined to home until the symptoms clear up. My throat is sore so I get to take something called Tamiflu (the side effects sound nasty). Cami doesn't get any medicine because he is too far into it. The best possible news she could give was she said because we don't have any underlying health issues it will likely just be a terribly uncomfortable flu and nothing worse.... what rotten timing! I was planning on going to Victoria with Spider to see my darling Tai tonight!!!! We were going to cruise the garden city in my convertible, and just be girls catching up and being friends.

What I have learned in the last 2 days:
Back up everything important OFTEN!
AND
Wash your hands and avoid germy little children!!!!!

Trying to stay on track

Oh the woes of a sentimental heart!

I am having so much trouble letting go of these too-many things! Especially the sentimental stuff... really, do I NEED the "furskin" that I got for Christmas in 1985? Sure I still think Bubba is adorable, but does he have FUNCTION in my life? Really?

Or the WADE Red Rose Tea Figurines? I have had them since grade 4 or 5 and finally got a shelf thing that I like to display them in my china cabinet. I do like them.... but they are an odd thing to be attached to.

Unclutterer blog gave me another fine question to help me with my ordeal: "Does this make my life better?" Present tense. No reference to how cute I think it is, or how much life is left in it, or who gave it to me.

It seems that toys are my biggest hurdle. I still love my toys.

Star Wars, Playmobil, The OLD Fisherprice Littlepeople (made of wood), Barbies, Little Ponies, my Cabbage patch doll. The rag doll my mom MADE me (she sewed me something, that in itself is unique and cherished). Sure the boys play with some of it (and I gave some other stuff to my niece and little Z) but there is still too much, I know there is too much.

I still have drawings that I was proud of in highschool, I think I will scan them and let go of the originals. I am no DiVinci, there won't be anthropologists reviewing my technique years from now. If it's not good enough to display, why do I still have it?! I have moved these things several times, and I see them and oogle that I used to draw so well, then they get stored till we move again.

I know what needs to be done. I just need to find the strength to loosen my death-grip on the past.

And on a similar topic..... all of my cupboards are so full that they are booby-traps! Open a door at your own risk, because the odds are very good that some plastic bowl or box of dry goods is liable to attack you (I make sure cans and jars are low to minimize injuries). It is ridiculous, and I purged fairly recently too. Got rid of all sorts of odd containers, unused cooking impliments and canned foods that I had to admit we'll never try, even towels and blankets that weren't in rotation anymore -- all to the local charity.

Purged some books too. Now they ALMOST all fit in my bookshelf/wall! LOL.

It is a battle I feel I am losing most days, mostly because I don't feel I have the time to tackle it. Between the household chores, cooking, banking, parenting, and WORKING (still too many projects to do in a short time).... when do I do the "spare time" stuff like mending things, creating things and decluttering?!

“You’ll accomplish more if you start now.”

Even more heartbreaking, I desperately want to visit my friends more... in person... at their homes! Making time for things always means neglecting other things. I haven't even watched a whole TV show in weeks. Bah.

Anyone want to come over and help?

This & That

Anniversary recap:

We had a lovely evening. We dropped the kids off at my sister's and went out for dinner at a decent restaurant. We had a gift certificate that my mom had sent MONTHS ago, and it was a great excuse to use it. Does anyone know how to get the photos off a cellphone? I took a sweet one of me and my hubby together.

School recap:

FINALLY the classes have been settled. Steve is in a 6/7 split with a new teacher (male), he is happy with the placement so far (but they have only had one day). Cami said he would have been happy with either of the Grade 3 teachers, so he is settled contentedly too -- the good news is there seems to be a better mix of boys and girls this year (last year there were only 3 girls in his whole class -- no wonder we went through FIVE teachers last year!).

Health recap:

No setbacks with T's gallbladder! He is cautious about eating fat and limitting his portions effectively. He is feeling fine.

Work recap:

Lots of projects on the go right now! Some very satisfying from a creative perspective. Like my first TV show logo! WooHoo!

Housework recap:

eww. not my favourite topic. NEXT!

Garden:

My little plot is still prvoiding veggies galore! The raspberries are done, peas are totally done, but the zucchini, the beets, the spinach and especially the green beans are giving, giving, giving and I still love it. It's miraculous to me that those tiny dry seeds can give me so many POUNDS of tasty crisp vegetables.