Oh it's a sad day in our household today....
We told the boys last night that his first family wanted him back. They were both sad, of course... but we said we wanted them to here the family out before getting too upset.
"SUE" and "ALICE" came by today, and let my children know where they stood. And there was a whole lot of tears from Sue and Steve.... Alice was quiet and aloof, Cammy was fidgity and ignoring us all. T loomed over the event with an air of utter contempt (very effective posture for the unsavoury occassion) and I tried to be reasonable and sympathetic to everyone.
Dingo was just SO EXCITED to have everyone there, that he could barely contain himself!
In the end, they took him home with them. And Dingo looked pleased, hard to say what was going on in his doggie head.... probably just "Oh BOY! A car ride!".
I'm not as bitter as I thought I would be, and there is even a smidge of relief that we won't have to care for his arthritis, and we don't OWE this woman anything anymore. HECK she owes US now! I told her all of the things we have bought for him, doggie gear and stuff, and she says she will compensate, but I have such a bad taste in my mouth about the whole affair I think I may forget about it!
Steve is beside himself with grief, but I am happy to say it is directed at Sue, not us. He admitted he was happier to have had Dingo for 4 months than not ever, so that is progress. T is angry at being used like this, but I think it is well placed.
Good things to come out of this experience:
- We actually LIKE having the right dog around the house. Something we weren't sure would happen after the bad ODIE experience.
- Boys got to have a large pet, and really participate in his care and love.
- T and I communicated openly about this difficult decision and agreed, and followed through, parenting skills were tested to the limits here.
After the last of the pet hair is swept away, it will be a strangely vacant home.... I feel that already. It can't be for long though, I am of the firm belief that kids need furry friends. And so do I!
12.30.2006
12.27.2006
Dingo-Bells
I just talked to his vet, and though she was unwilling to make the decision for me, she did agree to give me an educated 3rd party perspective.She said generally dogs don't think "I like this house better than that house".... so that's good. She said all dogs need stability, and the more love and attention, the better they do. (So in that way the stay-home-mom with youngsters is better.)
BUT
She also said that 6 1/2 years is considered geriatric for a large breed, and he will likely be fighting arthritis soon, so whichever home he is in will need a modified activity level, and will have to be willing to provide pain medication and other treatments. (So as a senior dog he may be more comfortable with the others.) She quickly followed that by saying he may be more comfortable if there are more people around to take care of his needs too though.
She agreed its a tough one. And she of course wouldn't offer a difinitive solution....
I don't want to hurt my children, but Dingo is the victim of this conflict... my kids are young and adaptable, they will adjust. Honestly if we went to the SPCA today and picked out a cuddly cat for each of them they would probably be fine! I do miss having a lap-warmer in the house.
(I am just trying to soften the potential pain here... emotionally prepare myself just in case....)
12.24.2006
She wants him back.
Names have been changes to protect the innocent....
Dingo's previous owner phoned yesterday, and by the end of the calll I was sobbing quietly.
You see she brought her daughter by the other day to take Dingo for a walk, "He's so fat" was all the young lady of 13 moped. They weren't out more than 10 minutes when they came back.... "My daughter is so embarrassing" SUE says, "She didn't even touch him and she was whining that it was cold out".
So they left, and then I got the call yesterday morning.
Sue says, "It's a hard thing, but we need to take Dingo back."
And with that the Christmas spirit of 2006 left me. Needless to say, I was seriously distracted.... so I formulated an email to drum up some sympathy:
Sue;
I just think you should KNOW what you are asking from us......
Please read this..... a day in the life of Dingo.
On his choice of comfy beds, he wakes to the sound to Stevie calling his name at around 7am.
"Dingo!" lots of hugs and then .... "want breakfast?!"
Stevie gives him his kibbles and happily pats him when Dingo comes to say "thank you".
After his run around the backyard, he comes in and get one of his half a dozen toys and lures Steve into a game of keep-away with the toy, happily running up and down the hallway, waking Cammy up and he quickly joins in the game!
By then I have finished getting the boys breakfast ready, and Dingo lays down on his bed while we all finally sit together.
As I pack the lunch boxes there is more rambunctious play, and when I call out "Time to get your shoes on!" Dingo is waiting expectantly at the closet door (where we keep his assortment of leashes, one for every occasion). I hook him up and dashes for the truck, with the boys happily in tow.
We all get to the school and pile out of the truck, where he drags me from one friendly face to another. All the kids and parents know Dingo by now and everyone loves him. Several parents brings their pooches to the schoolyard, and Dingo has his daily greeting for all of them, no-one believes he is over 6 years old, as he keeps up with even the youngest puppies. His best "friends" seem to be the little dogs. The little multi-poo named Ruby, the wirehaired daschund named Alfred, and the sheltie named Missy. These are all dogs that are pampered as much as Dingo is! Family friends.
When the kids load into their classrooms, Dingo and I load back into the truck. Sometimes we have time to go for a walk in the neighbourhood, sometimes I go straight to work in my office. He is always at my side. He has his spot at my feet where he naps while I work, and he lays his head on my knee to tell me when to take breaks.
At 11:00 we either walk up, or take the truck to pick up Cammy from Kindergarten. Cammy always has hugs for Dingo before me!
We come back home, and Cammy and Dingo do their thing while I do some more work.
If the weather is nice, Steve brings himself home, then we all go and check the mail.
Dingo always has time for the neighbour's dogs when they are out playing too (we have a very friendly set of neighbours, stay home mom's and shiftworkers, so there always seem to be somebody out with their dog at almost any time of day!). Chasing sticks with Niko the greatdane cross, playing with Hannah the beagle, Keltie (his favourite) the shitzu tear around the yard together, Willow the young yellow lab, Brooke the chocolate lab, Turbo the golden retriever....and a new addition, Bella the Jack Russell puppy. Everyone knows Dingo, everyone is happy to see him, he is patient and gentle with them all.
At dinner, he patiently waits his turn and is a happy boy with many wagging "thank-you's". We keep up with his training, "sit, stay, wait, down, up, paw, sneeze, speak, catch...". He is an eager pupil and we all enjoy his successes!
After dinner, either Tim takes him for a walk or the kids have another round of tug-of-war with his toys. He always reminds us that its time to play by going to get a toy and wagging it at us until we can't resist any more!
And when everyone is worn out, he takes his toy back to his bed and hangs onto it while we all watch TV. At the kids bedtime, they always have lots of squishy hugs and scratches behind the ears for Dingo.He usually follows them back upstairs while I read the stories, and even tries to climb into Cammy's bunk bed when he calls! That is funny to watch!
A couple hours later, he tours the backyard again, waits patiently on his special mat beside the door for me to dry his feet, and comes in and heads straight to his comfy bed.
Weekends are the most fun of all! We take him the Seawall, the beach in Cedar, the lake, the dam, the big walk around the wetlands, camping, the acres of farm that Tim's sister lives at on Gabriola... SOMETHING he can come do too! The only time we haven't done that was when the weather was too horrible. Rain doesn't deter us. He loves the long walks, and always finds a big stick to tease us with.
Dingo is not taken for granted, he is never alone, and he is fully appreciated for all his qualities.
As you can tell, with our family, he is pampered, loved and kept active. Dingo participates in EVERY facet of our lives!
He has integrated himself thoroughly into our family, and our hearts. He has filled that special cuddly place.... PLEASE remember what a happy, social and full life he has here and how much JOY he brings to us. We thank you for that Sue.
And I did get a reply:
Hi Pol,I know how hard is for you and the kids and i want youto understand how hard is been for me in the last 3months to hear Alice everyday telling me that willnever forgive me for givin Dingo away without tellingher.It is hard for me to find out that for Birthsdayand Christmas her only wish is to have Dingo back.I had lived a painfull experience and I can not getover it.I never thought that Alice will suffer so much'till depressen.All this time I tryed to be stronguntill last night.I know how sad for Steve and Cammy itis and you are not goin to belive today I went to Mall to find out if they have any puppy forsell.I will like to talk to you about this(There weresome poppys Shitzu and another breed).Alice is beenwith Dingo for almost 7 years the separetion is veryhard for her and for one moment I din,t think of that.I'm very SORRY and I will love to go with you and buya puppy for the kids.If you spended any money for the Vet please let meknow.I will like to take him back on Dec.26 or 27.Thank you Sue.
I sympathize, but it was not my fault. So I aske her to let her daughter read my email, and I get another response, this time from the daughter:
Okay, I thought maybe you should read what happened tome. At first i never even knew Dingo was going to betaken away. As far as i was concerned he was going outfor a weekend and i was going to be able to see himagain on monday. That weekend i was also at a friendshouse and it wasn't until i got home that i went"heeey wheres my dog???" mom and dad said he was justout and would be back soon. Later that day i saw themtaking all dingo's stuff in their car and my brotherhad told me what they were doing. I told them to comeback... they just left without telling me anything. Igot really upset. I felt hurt betrayed and lied to. iwas this close from running away until i realizedwhats the point. I thought if i tried enough to showthem i could earn dingo back. For weeks and weeks inever forgave them, i ignored them and loathed everylittle stupid explaination they tried to give me. Iprobably sobbed and bawled every night in my bedroom.Well i remember a while ago i was with a friend andher mother was driving us the the movie theatre. Sheeventually asked me if i was looking forward tochristmas and i, ofcourse, said yes. So, she asked mewhat i wanted... i said i didn't know and that the onething i wanted more then anything was to see and holdand have the dog i've living with since i was little.Sorry for your children but they never got to see theside of dingo i did and i know they'll take it betterthan i did. Alice.
That's a tough one! Her parents messed up doing it like that! But, why do my kids have to suffer for it? Will she get him back and say we ruined him? Will it be the best thing for Dingo, my kids or even the girl?
They are moving to a new home soon that won't have grass until the Spring, they all work or go to school full time AND they already bought ANOTHER puppy (Chihuahua)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I wrote another email:
We need at least a week to think this through, not to make any hasty decisions that may be regrettable to all concerned. Dingo's best interests are of course a serious consideration.
As mothers, you and I both want to spare our children unnecessary pain.
( By coincidence, I was telling T how my parents gave away the family dog when I was 9. We moved houses and we were told our dog Sandy wasn't coming with us. My sister and I thought it was cruel, even though Dad assured us that the dog would be happier on the farm.We even went and visited, and it was heartbreaking for my sister and I to see him actually happy at his new home. We never quite forgave our Dad for it, even though we loved the 2 cats and the small dog that we kept. So you can see I have sympathy for your daughter, our parallels are alarmingly similar. We HAD to respect our Father's decision and trust that it was the right one even through the passion of childhood. )
It is painful to bring up, but...... Have you asked yourself if the reasons for giving Dingo away in the first place have changed....? Will he like the move? Fit into the new house? Is the yard fenced, or will he have to be indoors all the time, or on a horrible chain or dog-run? Will Alice have more time to play with him, exercise him, groom and feed him? Will Poncho suffer for it? Will Dingo like having to share Alice with Poncho? Is he going to like being alone all day every school day after having so much time with people home? Where will Dingo be all day -- with Poncho, separated from him? He has a great life where he is -- really!
Also, after thinking of all this I have to wonder if you have thought of my children's reaction. I suspect they would think they did something wrong to have him taken away. They would think we lied to them, and were mean. They are younger than Alina and understand only the simplest explanations. They have done nothing but LOVE and care for Dingo right from the start. They have participated in his care more than we have asked, and I am almost crying everytime I see them embrace him since you called.... they don't know what you have asked for yet.
Having slept on this, T and I have decided that we aren't willing to put our young children through the pain and loss that you are asking us to do. Especially on the heels of our family cat dying (there were lots of tears, and crying "why, why why?") and they are just accepting that loss now.Please understand that.
Tell Alice we are being difficult if you want, then maybe she can vent in our direction instead of yours.
So if you are serious about this, after New Years, we invite you and Alina TOGETHER to come and tell Steve and Cami how you are feeling, and how you plan to help them get over it. I really don't think it should be discussed again then.
Please have a Merry Christmas.
Say hi to Poncho for us.
Within an hour of sending this email Sue called me on the phone.... she started off apologizing, then went on to press that she would find us a puppy, and then went on to say how she messed up and just wants to make it right. She started Bawling after I asked her why she took so LONG to decide this!! She cried and cried saying she wanted to make it right with GOD, and she needs to fix it...... I asked her to come by on New Years Day with her daughter and tell my boys face to face what the deal is. (I want her to understand she will be hurting my kids to make her daughter happy).
Honestly we don't want a puppy, the only dog we have ever had any happiness with is Dingo. If he goes, there will be no more dogs. Maybe a cat (or 2). He has an ideal home with us! Stay home mom, kids that play with him (maybe rough at times), camping, hiking, walks on the beach, all great dog stuff!
So what do we do?
Dingo will most certainly be happy to be with his original pack, though he may not like moving and he may not like Poncho the puppy. He is getting older and has 3-5 years left in him.... so where is the best place? A quiet life at his old family's? A fun active life with my family?
Who is to say!
We will talk to the kids after Christmas, I will phone Dingo's vet to ask his opinion as well, and I may call the SPCA to see which environment they think is better. I will weigh all the answers and I will prepare to follow my concience in the end.
All for a floppy, fat, friendly dog!!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
Dingo's previous owner phoned yesterday, and by the end of the calll I was sobbing quietly.
You see she brought her daughter by the other day to take Dingo for a walk, "He's so fat" was all the young lady of 13 moped. They weren't out more than 10 minutes when they came back.... "My daughter is so embarrassing" SUE says, "She didn't even touch him and she was whining that it was cold out".
So they left, and then I got the call yesterday morning.
Sue says, "It's a hard thing, but we need to take Dingo back."
And with that the Christmas spirit of 2006 left me. Needless to say, I was seriously distracted.... so I formulated an email to drum up some sympathy:
Sue;
I just think you should KNOW what you are asking from us......
Please read this..... a day in the life of Dingo.
On his choice of comfy beds, he wakes to the sound to Stevie calling his name at around 7am.
"Dingo!" lots of hugs and then .... "want breakfast?!"
Stevie gives him his kibbles and happily pats him when Dingo comes to say "thank you".
After his run around the backyard, he comes in and get one of his half a dozen toys and lures Steve into a game of keep-away with the toy, happily running up and down the hallway, waking Cammy up and he quickly joins in the game!
By then I have finished getting the boys breakfast ready, and Dingo lays down on his bed while we all finally sit together.
As I pack the lunch boxes there is more rambunctious play, and when I call out "Time to get your shoes on!" Dingo is waiting expectantly at the closet door (where we keep his assortment of leashes, one for every occasion). I hook him up and dashes for the truck, with the boys happily in tow.
We all get to the school and pile out of the truck, where he drags me from one friendly face to another. All the kids and parents know Dingo by now and everyone loves him. Several parents brings their pooches to the schoolyard, and Dingo has his daily greeting for all of them, no-one believes he is over 6 years old, as he keeps up with even the youngest puppies. His best "friends" seem to be the little dogs. The little multi-poo named Ruby, the wirehaired daschund named Alfred, and the sheltie named Missy. These are all dogs that are pampered as much as Dingo is! Family friends.
When the kids load into their classrooms, Dingo and I load back into the truck. Sometimes we have time to go for a walk in the neighbourhood, sometimes I go straight to work in my office. He is always at my side. He has his spot at my feet where he naps while I work, and he lays his head on my knee to tell me when to take breaks.
At 11:00 we either walk up, or take the truck to pick up Cammy from Kindergarten. Cammy always has hugs for Dingo before me!
We come back home, and Cammy and Dingo do their thing while I do some more work.
If the weather is nice, Steve brings himself home, then we all go and check the mail.
Dingo always has time for the neighbour's dogs when they are out playing too (we have a very friendly set of neighbours, stay home mom's and shiftworkers, so there always seem to be somebody out with their dog at almost any time of day!). Chasing sticks with Niko the greatdane cross, playing with Hannah the beagle, Keltie (his favourite) the shitzu tear around the yard together, Willow the young yellow lab, Brooke the chocolate lab, Turbo the golden retriever....and a new addition, Bella the Jack Russell puppy. Everyone knows Dingo, everyone is happy to see him, he is patient and gentle with them all.
At dinner, he patiently waits his turn and is a happy boy with many wagging "thank-you's". We keep up with his training, "sit, stay, wait, down, up, paw, sneeze, speak, catch...". He is an eager pupil and we all enjoy his successes!
After dinner, either Tim takes him for a walk or the kids have another round of tug-of-war with his toys. He always reminds us that its time to play by going to get a toy and wagging it at us until we can't resist any more!
And when everyone is worn out, he takes his toy back to his bed and hangs onto it while we all watch TV. At the kids bedtime, they always have lots of squishy hugs and scratches behind the ears for Dingo.He usually follows them back upstairs while I read the stories, and even tries to climb into Cammy's bunk bed when he calls! That is funny to watch!
A couple hours later, he tours the backyard again, waits patiently on his special mat beside the door for me to dry his feet, and comes in and heads straight to his comfy bed.
Weekends are the most fun of all! We take him the Seawall, the beach in Cedar, the lake, the dam, the big walk around the wetlands, camping, the acres of farm that Tim's sister lives at on Gabriola... SOMETHING he can come do too! The only time we haven't done that was when the weather was too horrible. Rain doesn't deter us. He loves the long walks, and always finds a big stick to tease us with.
Dingo is not taken for granted, he is never alone, and he is fully appreciated for all his qualities.
As you can tell, with our family, he is pampered, loved and kept active. Dingo participates in EVERY facet of our lives!
He has integrated himself thoroughly into our family, and our hearts. He has filled that special cuddly place.... PLEASE remember what a happy, social and full life he has here and how much JOY he brings to us. We thank you for that Sue.
And I did get a reply:
Hi Pol,I know how hard is for you and the kids and i want youto understand how hard is been for me in the last 3months to hear Alice everyday telling me that willnever forgive me for givin Dingo away without tellingher.It is hard for me to find out that for Birthsdayand Christmas her only wish is to have Dingo back.I had lived a painfull experience and I can not getover it.I never thought that Alice will suffer so much'till depressen.All this time I tryed to be stronguntill last night.I know how sad for Steve and Cammy itis and you are not goin to belive today I went to Mall to find out if they have any puppy forsell.I will like to talk to you about this(There weresome poppys Shitzu and another breed).Alice is beenwith Dingo for almost 7 years the separetion is veryhard for her and for one moment I din,t think of that.I'm very SORRY and I will love to go with you and buya puppy for the kids.If you spended any money for the Vet please let meknow.I will like to take him back on Dec.26 or 27.Thank you Sue.
I sympathize, but it was not my fault. So I aske her to let her daughter read my email, and I get another response, this time from the daughter:
Okay, I thought maybe you should read what happened tome. At first i never even knew Dingo was going to betaken away. As far as i was concerned he was going outfor a weekend and i was going to be able to see himagain on monday. That weekend i was also at a friendshouse and it wasn't until i got home that i went"heeey wheres my dog???" mom and dad said he was justout and would be back soon. Later that day i saw themtaking all dingo's stuff in their car and my brotherhad told me what they were doing. I told them to comeback... they just left without telling me anything. Igot really upset. I felt hurt betrayed and lied to. iwas this close from running away until i realizedwhats the point. I thought if i tried enough to showthem i could earn dingo back. For weeks and weeks inever forgave them, i ignored them and loathed everylittle stupid explaination they tried to give me. Iprobably sobbed and bawled every night in my bedroom.Well i remember a while ago i was with a friend andher mother was driving us the the movie theatre. Sheeventually asked me if i was looking forward tochristmas and i, ofcourse, said yes. So, she asked mewhat i wanted... i said i didn't know and that the onething i wanted more then anything was to see and holdand have the dog i've living with since i was little.Sorry for your children but they never got to see theside of dingo i did and i know they'll take it betterthan i did. Alice.
That's a tough one! Her parents messed up doing it like that! But, why do my kids have to suffer for it? Will she get him back and say we ruined him? Will it be the best thing for Dingo, my kids or even the girl?
They are moving to a new home soon that won't have grass until the Spring, they all work or go to school full time AND they already bought ANOTHER puppy (Chihuahua)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I wrote another email:
We need at least a week to think this through, not to make any hasty decisions that may be regrettable to all concerned. Dingo's best interests are of course a serious consideration.
As mothers, you and I both want to spare our children unnecessary pain.
( By coincidence, I was telling T how my parents gave away the family dog when I was 9. We moved houses and we were told our dog Sandy wasn't coming with us. My sister and I thought it was cruel, even though Dad assured us that the dog would be happier on the farm.We even went and visited, and it was heartbreaking for my sister and I to see him actually happy at his new home. We never quite forgave our Dad for it, even though we loved the 2 cats and the small dog that we kept. So you can see I have sympathy for your daughter, our parallels are alarmingly similar. We HAD to respect our Father's decision and trust that it was the right one even through the passion of childhood. )
It is painful to bring up, but...... Have you asked yourself if the reasons for giving Dingo away in the first place have changed....? Will he like the move? Fit into the new house? Is the yard fenced, or will he have to be indoors all the time, or on a horrible chain or dog-run? Will Alice have more time to play with him, exercise him, groom and feed him? Will Poncho suffer for it? Will Dingo like having to share Alice with Poncho? Is he going to like being alone all day every school day after having so much time with people home? Where will Dingo be all day -- with Poncho, separated from him? He has a great life where he is -- really!
Also, after thinking of all this I have to wonder if you have thought of my children's reaction. I suspect they would think they did something wrong to have him taken away. They would think we lied to them, and were mean. They are younger than Alina and understand only the simplest explanations. They have done nothing but LOVE and care for Dingo right from the start. They have participated in his care more than we have asked, and I am almost crying everytime I see them embrace him since you called.... they don't know what you have asked for yet.
Having slept on this, T and I have decided that we aren't willing to put our young children through the pain and loss that you are asking us to do. Especially on the heels of our family cat dying (there were lots of tears, and crying "why, why why?") and they are just accepting that loss now.Please understand that.
Tell Alice we are being difficult if you want, then maybe she can vent in our direction instead of yours.
So if you are serious about this, after New Years, we invite you and Alina TOGETHER to come and tell Steve and Cami how you are feeling, and how you plan to help them get over it. I really don't think it should be discussed again then.
Please have a Merry Christmas.
Say hi to Poncho for us.
Within an hour of sending this email Sue called me on the phone.... she started off apologizing, then went on to press that she would find us a puppy, and then went on to say how she messed up and just wants to make it right. She started Bawling after I asked her why she took so LONG to decide this!! She cried and cried saying she wanted to make it right with GOD, and she needs to fix it...... I asked her to come by on New Years Day with her daughter and tell my boys face to face what the deal is. (I want her to understand she will be hurting my kids to make her daughter happy).
Honestly we don't want a puppy, the only dog we have ever had any happiness with is Dingo. If he goes, there will be no more dogs. Maybe a cat (or 2). He has an ideal home with us! Stay home mom, kids that play with him (maybe rough at times), camping, hiking, walks on the beach, all great dog stuff!
So what do we do?
Dingo will most certainly be happy to be with his original pack, though he may not like moving and he may not like Poncho the puppy. He is getting older and has 3-5 years left in him.... so where is the best place? A quiet life at his old family's? A fun active life with my family?
Who is to say!
We will talk to the kids after Christmas, I will phone Dingo's vet to ask his opinion as well, and I may call the SPCA to see which environment they think is better. I will weigh all the answers and I will prepare to follow my concience in the end.
All for a floppy, fat, friendly dog!!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
12.20.2006
The tally is in
Well, is anyone interested in how much my kitchen nook and new floor cost? Anyone?
I have rounded the figures off.
Flooring: $1700
Materials $2000
Labour: $3200
Subtotal: $6900
GASP!
And the big door in the laundry room still needs to be installed for more hours of labour (and probably more materials too) and the covered back porch still needs to be constructed!!!!
I bought the lumber for the deck project at a great bargain of $600 for solid Cedar. But presently it is lying under a tarp in my back yard.
I BLEW my renovation budget.................... my brother in law is a craftsman, very good but painfully slow, of course he works by the hour too.
GASP -- GAG -- WHEEEEEEEZE!
The good news is I love it all, I am happy to stay in this house and this neighbourhood. I will look on the bright side in my cozy house in the hill.
It was worth it, right? Wasn't it? Investing in your own home is good?
Too late to second guess now! But I really am planning to stay for a while now. It's already been 7 1/2 years and I think it would be romantic to raise my kids right through highschool in one family home.
I guess no acreage with fruit trees in this lifetime, at least not with our current circumstances, but life has a way of changing the circumstances when you least expect it....
I have rounded the figures off.
Flooring: $1700
Materials $2000
Labour: $3200
Subtotal: $6900
GASP!
And the big door in the laundry room still needs to be installed for more hours of labour (and probably more materials too) and the covered back porch still needs to be constructed!!!!
I bought the lumber for the deck project at a great bargain of $600 for solid Cedar. But presently it is lying under a tarp in my back yard.
I BLEW my renovation budget.................... my brother in law is a craftsman, very good but painfully slow, of course he works by the hour too.
GASP -- GAG -- WHEEEEEEEZE!
The good news is I love it all, I am happy to stay in this house and this neighbourhood. I will look on the bright side in my cozy house in the hill.
It was worth it, right? Wasn't it? Investing in your own home is good?
Too late to second guess now! But I really am planning to stay for a while now. It's already been 7 1/2 years and I think it would be romantic to raise my kids right through highschool in one family home.
I guess no acreage with fruit trees in this lifetime, at least not with our current circumstances, but life has a way of changing the circumstances when you least expect it....
12.15.2006
What to write about....
I took Dingo out for a walk yesterday after dropping the boys off at school. It was warm enough, not frozen and not raining in torrents either. So I grabbed his leash and we headed uphill. Up and up to the top of the street and then I saw a deer path into the woods and couldn't resist. So we started uphill some more, with underbrush and trees in tight around us.
Since I have never been in that area of the woods, I decided to head left and down as our general direction and knew we would eventually intersect the path that circumnavigates the wetlands. You know what? Deerpaths are not reliable foot paths for people. I ended up crashing through thickets (with lots of bunny poops) scrambing over logs and getting my face slapped by more than one branch. I loved it!
We did find the path and happily galloped home.
So I sat down to my computer and gapped out doing some work, then looked over my shoulder to see GREAT GOBS of SNOW falling from the sky, already blanketing lawn and road!!!!!
WHAT THE HECK?! Did I black out and skip a day? I was out walking in a balmy drizzle just a couple hours earlier!
SO I had to run my errands to return movies, mail parcels, pick up a parcel and deposit a check all at the local strip mall..... I got out into it and was dismayed to find out that rear-wheel drive vehicles DO NOT steer in this crap! I was literally sliding to the curb everytime I tried to steer right. I did not take it out of first and gently crept along at a snail's pace the whole way there, did my business as fast as possible, and went to the school to collect the boys. By the time I sledded all the way up the hill to the school, I was shaking at the knees, it was by divine intervention that I didn't hit anything more serious than a sidewalk!!!!!!!!!!! I was 10 minutes late getting them, but the teacher and afterschool care provider understood completely. And we had the adventure of getting back home. Somehow we made it without incident (didn't touch the brakes) and I told the kids not to as me for ANYTHING until I had a chance to calm down. I got a glass of Port and settled myself at the kitchen table with a Christmas project....... aaaah, nice and quiet.
I called T to tell him about the trecherous condidtions, I explained how careful I was being and that it didn't help enough. His response was to laugh and lecture me on driving in the snow! I had just finished telling him that I was doing all the right things, in other words, I KNEW that because he had TAUGHT me it already!!!! I am not an idiot, I tend to be a fast study with practical things, self preservation in driving is a very practical thing!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!! SO I lost it a liitle bit and interjected (rather forcefully) "I KNOW how to drive in the snow, I am just calling you to tell you it is horrible out there, and to be careful!" That shut him up.
I spent the next 1/2 hour disapointed in his reaction to my caring phone call. But forgot about it while getting dinner ready.
T got home safely, and as we were discussing what we are wearing out for dinner this weekend (yay -- a date!!!!!) He mentioned that he has had to walk on eggshells lately with me. He never knows when I am going to bite his head off.
I love that man, he is more observant than most. He even was able to pinpoint the exact moment when this shift in my attitude started. While painting the family room. And he is RIGHT. Dead-on accurate. Something inside my head popped, (split open, forceably flipped a switch) when he told me the "RIGHT" way to load a paintbrush. I still seathe when I think about it.
"You came across as preachy when I was just trying to tell you how bad it was outside. I know I haven't had the patience I used to, its a change I really don't like in myself. Things I used to have infinite patience for just make me snap all the time now" I explained.
" I can't even seem to help it, and I'm sorry." I continued.
There was more to this conversation, but suffice it to say it was valuable to know how each other was feeling, but nothing was solved particularly.
I love him, I value his opinion, I respect his needs -- but I can't put them ahead of my own like I used to. I too have valuable opinions and needs. One of my NEEDS is to have my intelligence respected. I will ask for help when I need it, and I will happily have interactive dialogue on most subjects, but I can't be preached to anymore. Not when its something he has already taught me YEARS ago (driving in the snow) and not when I am happy with my way of doing things (loading a paint roller).
OFFER an opinion. Don't force it.
Stormy inside and out last night.
Since I have never been in that area of the woods, I decided to head left and down as our general direction and knew we would eventually intersect the path that circumnavigates the wetlands. You know what? Deerpaths are not reliable foot paths for people. I ended up crashing through thickets (with lots of bunny poops) scrambing over logs and getting my face slapped by more than one branch. I loved it!
We did find the path and happily galloped home.
So I sat down to my computer and gapped out doing some work, then looked over my shoulder to see GREAT GOBS of SNOW falling from the sky, already blanketing lawn and road!!!!!
WHAT THE HECK?! Did I black out and skip a day? I was out walking in a balmy drizzle just a couple hours earlier!
SO I had to run my errands to return movies, mail parcels, pick up a parcel and deposit a check all at the local strip mall..... I got out into it and was dismayed to find out that rear-wheel drive vehicles DO NOT steer in this crap! I was literally sliding to the curb everytime I tried to steer right. I did not take it out of first and gently crept along at a snail's pace the whole way there, did my business as fast as possible, and went to the school to collect the boys. By the time I sledded all the way up the hill to the school, I was shaking at the knees, it was by divine intervention that I didn't hit anything more serious than a sidewalk!!!!!!!!!!! I was 10 minutes late getting them, but the teacher and afterschool care provider understood completely. And we had the adventure of getting back home. Somehow we made it without incident (didn't touch the brakes) and I told the kids not to as me for ANYTHING until I had a chance to calm down. I got a glass of Port and settled myself at the kitchen table with a Christmas project....... aaaah, nice and quiet.
I called T to tell him about the trecherous condidtions, I explained how careful I was being and that it didn't help enough. His response was to laugh and lecture me on driving in the snow! I had just finished telling him that I was doing all the right things, in other words, I KNEW that because he had TAUGHT me it already!!!! I am not an idiot, I tend to be a fast study with practical things, self preservation in driving is a very practical thing!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!! SO I lost it a liitle bit and interjected (rather forcefully) "I KNOW how to drive in the snow, I am just calling you to tell you it is horrible out there, and to be careful!" That shut him up.
I spent the next 1/2 hour disapointed in his reaction to my caring phone call. But forgot about it while getting dinner ready.
T got home safely, and as we were discussing what we are wearing out for dinner this weekend (yay -- a date!!!!!) He mentioned that he has had to walk on eggshells lately with me. He never knows when I am going to bite his head off.
I love that man, he is more observant than most. He even was able to pinpoint the exact moment when this shift in my attitude started. While painting the family room. And he is RIGHT. Dead-on accurate. Something inside my head popped, (split open, forceably flipped a switch) when he told me the "RIGHT" way to load a paintbrush. I still seathe when I think about it.
"You came across as preachy when I was just trying to tell you how bad it was outside. I know I haven't had the patience I used to, its a change I really don't like in myself. Things I used to have infinite patience for just make me snap all the time now" I explained.
" I can't even seem to help it, and I'm sorry." I continued.
There was more to this conversation, but suffice it to say it was valuable to know how each other was feeling, but nothing was solved particularly.
I love him, I value his opinion, I respect his needs -- but I can't put them ahead of my own like I used to. I too have valuable opinions and needs. One of my NEEDS is to have my intelligence respected. I will ask for help when I need it, and I will happily have interactive dialogue on most subjects, but I can't be preached to anymore. Not when its something he has already taught me YEARS ago (driving in the snow) and not when I am happy with my way of doing things (loading a paint roller).
OFFER an opinion. Don't force it.
Stormy inside and out last night.
12.11.2006
Stormy day!
Oh I was looking so forward to visiting Kim today!
But as I watch the neighbours garbage can fly down the street, and trees bend, and windows visciously lashed by needle-like rain, I am releived that I cancelled.
Sorry Kim, its WICKED out there!
So I will try to get this post out before the power fails.
********************
There is a problem with the travel plans, folks.
3 weeks isn't looking feasable! Whatever will I do?
Honestly though I am excited about travelling, the thought of being without my family for that long makes me feel queazy and anxious.
AND
2 weeks is pushing it for time off for T. And there is a reason WHY he has to take the time OFF instead of just shifting his hours, he HAS to be at the plant when production is going, that starts at 6AM, so he has to be out of the house by 5:30 at the latest.... I don't know any babysitters available at that hour!!!! NONE.
Even if I have to pay a penalty, I need to change my return flight, or my incoming flight so that we won't have to take more than 2 weeks off. We can't afford to have this trip come out of BOTH our incomes......
I feel sick about it. But that's what it has come down to.
But as I watch the neighbours garbage can fly down the street, and trees bend, and windows visciously lashed by needle-like rain, I am releived that I cancelled.
Sorry Kim, its WICKED out there!
So I will try to get this post out before the power fails.
********************
There is a problem with the travel plans, folks.
3 weeks isn't looking feasable! Whatever will I do?
Honestly though I am excited about travelling, the thought of being without my family for that long makes me feel queazy and anxious.
AND
2 weeks is pushing it for time off for T. And there is a reason WHY he has to take the time OFF instead of just shifting his hours, he HAS to be at the plant when production is going, that starts at 6AM, so he has to be out of the house by 5:30 at the latest.... I don't know any babysitters available at that hour!!!! NONE.
Even if I have to pay a penalty, I need to change my return flight, or my incoming flight so that we won't have to take more than 2 weeks off. We can't afford to have this trip come out of BOTH our incomes......
I feel sick about it. But that's what it has come down to.
12.08.2006
Closure
While the kids were at school yesterday, I took ona little woodworking project....
I made a coffin for my puddy tat
I deconstructed his "Mo-tel" home, cut the wood into appropriate sizes, and screwed the box together. I am afraid of power tools, but shop class came back to me enough to get it working.
Then I lovingly lined it with his blanket, and placed his "sleeping" remains inside..... with more than a few tears too! Along with his-fuzzy-ness, I placed the portrait Steve drew of him, a photograph in his prime, his brush (he loved being brushed) and a brief write up of what he means to me.... a eulogy of sorts.
And then I put the top on an screwed it shut. (More tears)
When T got home, with a cheery boquet of flowers, he appreciated that I had done that, as he wasn't keen on touching the body. He is very squeemish about that sort of thing.
Then T went outside and looked for an appropriate spot.
We had a bit of a service for Mo.... Tim dug a nice straight hole under the cedar hedge where Mo would like to snooze in the sun.... Steve helped lower the casket, and we each said goodby with a flower and Steve put the first bit of dirt on. Cami helped with a shovel too.
It went well, and Steve said he didn't feel as sad anymore.... it was closure and it was good
...sniff...
I made a coffin for my puddy tat
I deconstructed his "Mo-tel" home, cut the wood into appropriate sizes, and screwed the box together. I am afraid of power tools, but shop class came back to me enough to get it working.
Then I lovingly lined it with his blanket, and placed his "sleeping" remains inside..... with more than a few tears too! Along with his-fuzzy-ness, I placed the portrait Steve drew of him, a photograph in his prime, his brush (he loved being brushed) and a brief write up of what he means to me.... a eulogy of sorts.
And then I put the top on an screwed it shut. (More tears)
When T got home, with a cheery boquet of flowers, he appreciated that I had done that, as he wasn't keen on touching the body. He is very squeemish about that sort of thing.
Then T went outside and looked for an appropriate spot.
We had a bit of a service for Mo.... Tim dug a nice straight hole under the cedar hedge where Mo would like to snooze in the sun.... Steve helped lower the casket, and we each said goodby with a flower and Steve put the first bit of dirt on. Cami helped with a shovel too.
It went well, and Steve said he didn't feel as sad anymore.... it was closure and it was good
...sniff...
12.06.2006
Mo
It is a sad day in my life today. I had to say goodbye to a loyal, furry gentleman.
Last night in bed I pondered the time we have had together, the times we have shared over 15 years.... In bed I thought of a poem that covered all that time. Of course in the light of day, the poem has left my head, but the sentiment is still there.
I will miss his warmth, his affectionate personality, his vocal expressions, his unique purr, the flick of his tail when he wanted food, or stood on his back legs to rub the tip of my finger with his face as a trick, the way he stuck out his tongue when he was being petted, "purr-meow"- feed me, " MOEEE" - let me in (or out), the way he would grab the brush and rub his face on it purring so happily that he was drooling (only when being brushed) the way he curled his big, fuzzy paw around the tip of my finger and massaged it happily......
So mellow and loving all the time, seemingly un-ruffle-able, But watching him SPRING into action at a hummingbird, or sing his cat opera to the chickadees "come here" he would croon to them... MOST were clever enough to resist, but not all.
He was a bold protector of his territory, but would never let on to us human folk.... like a superhero with the mild-mannered persona in his everyday life, and a tiger to other cats.
He moved with me apartment, basement suite, my step-dad's, houses all over town. And for every move he took it so smoothly, like it was okay with him as long as he could get food, love and a warm couch to sleep on. He had 9 lives for sure! I got him from the SPCA as an adult, on the short list to be "destroyed". F.U.S. almost took him out, a few bad cysts in bad places, a couple of tumours that he seemed happy to live with, a heart murmur, dangling kidneys, arthitis and lord knows what other trials that he didn't tell me about. T and I would always look at each other and mourn that he might be going, but WOW he would spring right back! 2 puppies, a dog, and 2 babies later he was still a loveable old furball.
But now he is gone, and all I have is his memory. Our home is sad, at a loss, "poor old Mo" life won't be the same without my Fuzz-faced-puddy-tat, my Schmo-mo, my Kitty-witty..... bye bye old friend, I love you. sniff.
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